Okay so for the past month I've been in this baby craze and I've been obsessed with the idea of having a child but my problem is that I'm only 17. I'm home schooled, working towards my GED; I have anxiety and depression which is why I left public school. I've been with my boyfriend for a little bit over 2 years and we're a really healthy and truly loving couple (I'm not saying this just because I think so, everyone around us sees it automatically and always tells us). My parents wouldn't be mad if I had a kid, my mom actually would be thrilled because she's dying to be a grandma. My parents also talk about how they would help me out anyway they could, again my mom especially because she sees being a grandparent as spoiling a child and doing anything for them no matter what so money really isn't a huge, huge issue. The problem is that I'm afraid of what the rest of my family will say especially my sister and aunt, and my boyfriend doesn't want a kid right now. I just don't know what to do.. It makes me so sad to the point where i just sit and cry because I can't have a baby. Since I've been home schooled for quite some time now I've begun to feel like I just don't have a purpose anymore, like my life is at a standstill and I can't do anything about it. Having a baby would make me feel important and it would give me some kind of meaning again. The thing that bothers me about that is what if I feel this way just because there's this empty void in my life that needs to be filled and I think having a baby will do the trick. What if I don't actually want a baby, I just want to feel like I have a purpose? I do feel like I actually want one though, but you know how brains are, they trick you into thinking you want something but really there's this whole psychological reasoning behind it and I don't want to bring a child into the world just because I'm lonely and I need to find some friends. I do believe that I would be a great mom and I think my boyfriend would be an awesome dad, we're both really good with kids but he doesn't want one right now. It hurts knowing that there isn't anything I can do and I guess I came here to ask if how I'm feeling is normal? Is it bad that I feel this way? Should I wait to have a baby or is my brain trying to tell me that I'm ready to be a mother? I don't understand any of it and it's killing me that I can't find a solution.