I really wish I could be in this section

[Tasha]

Hey girls,

Been reading through this sub-forum for the first time ever, and just needed to write how much I wish I was in here.

I will (as briefly as I can) tell you my history.

Labour number one was an induction at 35/36 weeks due to pre-eclampsia, it was 27 hours of established labour. I was so poorly that when they recommended an epi I just agreed, and the epi for me was awful, it went on one side and so when I was pushing my left leg kept falling off the bed, I could not push, the mw was screaming at me things like there is no time for breathing. I eventually got him out with no assistance, tears or anything but I vowed no epi ever again, as the lack of control really scared me.

Labour number two, 37 weeks and induction day due to pre-eclampsia, MIL kindly said to me would you not like to be able to do it for real this time. Any way, got there and was waiting for a bed, finally 4pm a bed become available. Just before 5pm I had my first contraction, I kept walking loads and needing to wee, within the hour they were every two minutes, I told the mw to be told she couldnt do an internal yet because I was coping too well. Walked out the room and my waters broke, she did an internal, 8cm's. So quick dash upstairs to labour ward, got there and was given gas and air, two puffs decided I hated it so threw it. Next mw looked and said I was ready, I said I wasnt so she said okay, call me when you feel ready to push (when I was 10cm I was demanding an epi ). I did, and one push later she was out, ruptured her cord cos of the speed or delivery. But it was an amazing experience, I felt so proud and when I thanked the mw she said how it was all me, and that I seemed like I had done it 10 times, as I just listened to my body.


With number three I had a failed induction at 29 weeks, sadly she then fell asleep in my tummy at 36+4 and was born after a very quick induction at 36+6. Although it was very sad circumstances, the labour itself was everything I could of hoped for. They did try to pressure me in to an epi before we even begun, and when I flat out refused they tried to push morphine, I just said we will see) I had the pessary at 11.30am, at 12.30pm I was sent to get lunch from the antenatal ward, whilst there I had my first contraction, it took my breath away. I got back to my room tired (and failed) to eat. I kept needing to wee, and soon realised the toilet was so comfortable At 12.55pm I asked for pain relief, she said no, I made my Mum push for it so she gave me paracetamol at 1pm. I went to the toilet again, and the pessary fell out, I just thought oh no its not gonna work now, when really it should of been oh that must be the head pushing it out I told the mw I needed to poo and couldnt go. This resulted in my trousers and knickers being whipped off, seeing the head crowning, button was pushedfor 2nd mw, deliver pack quickly got out, me moaning I was hot so needed my jumper and socks off. At 1.12pm Honey was born silently into the world.

Labour number four was not what I wanted, induction due to my risks. They broke my waters straight away, my cervix was high and hard but could break it because after previous children it doesnt close properly. After an hour or so no contractions have started so she puts the syntocin (sp) up, with out my consent. Within half an the contractions start, and after not very long my baby is in distress, she calls another mw, then a doctor, another doctor, a consultant, my consultant, all the while she has my legs open and is scratching my baby's head with an amni hook (what they use to break your waters) for thirty minutes. It is on my notes that I have been sexually abused so to do that for so long, with no consent, withn so many people around was quite distressing. In that hour I had gone from 0cm to 6/7cm, it was decided that we were to have an emergency section. The section was fine as was my recovery.

I am obviously never gonna have a home birth because I am so high risk (pre-eclampsia in all four pregnancies, a stillbirth, PROM at 28 weeks, 7 miscarriages, clotting disorders, anaemia, previosu section etc etc) but I would love to have a birth like my second or third. I would also love to feel as if I am part of this, so far all I have heard is they will make the decision closer to the time, what about me and what I want?

Obviously will do anything to make sure baby is here screaming. I just hate hospitals, hate lack of control, so this is hard for me.

 

[Linzi]

Hun

Could always write a really detailed birth plan and some notes saying exactly how you want to be treat? I'm sure with your history they would totally understand that you want to be as comfortable with what is happening as possible.

DO you know who is delivery your baby? Could you possibly speak to them about how you feel?



xxx

 

[Bournefree]

Tasha thank you so much for sharing
and please don't feel as though you can't post here!! (although I doubt you can be too shy as you have started your own thread!! winkwink ;-)
Seriously, please, please get involved with all the other threads in this section as well - Our experences would be poorer if we didnt have your input.
And like anything is life, don't discount planning a home or natural birth, because of your history.. there is no harm in planning, you just take the evidence of you situation as you go, and make your own decisions.
XxxX

 

[Mervs Mum]

I totally second what BF said. You CAN plan a home birth and just see how things pan out. It might be that it's unlikely to happen and you may feel that planning it and having to let it go is a good or a bad thing. You might feel 'at least you tried' and that YOU decided that it wasnt the best thing for you, rather than just being told the wont 'allow' you to. You may feel that it's too much to raise your hopes as it's fair to say you have a complicated history and yes you are what they term as high risk. I think it's still possible to achieve a great birth experience if you are well informed, supported and prepared. My next client has chosen to birth in hospital even though her first choice was home. But on balance hospital was the best fit for her and her situation.

You can still plan. You can still stay in control. You have choices. A well thought out and clearly documented birth plan will help.

So welcome to the board. You sound like you have come to exactly the right place and we will support you unconditionally - at the risk of repeating myself....in here there's a mind set - location is really secondary.

x

 

[chuck]

It has been said here a few time hun but home is where the heart is.

No one can tell you you cannot birth at home but if you feel safer in hospital due to your history great, just make it YOUR birth not theirs.

There's no reason you cant have a great hospital birth if you get the right support.

 

[kiwimama]

This section for home and natural birth. You can certainly have a natural birth in hospital. It can be as beautiful and calm as your 2nd and 3rd births. Because of your history, the doctors probably will push for you to have interventions which can often lead to a traumatic birth.

I would make yourself a birth plan, tell the doctors how you want it to be. When you are in labour, have a strong support person who can be there to push for your choices. If the doctors say something like "Ok, I think we're just going to break your waters to get you going" get your birth partner to ask "is mother at risk? is baby at risk? What will happen if we do this? What will happen if we don't do this? Can we wait for another hour, or two?"

You can feel free to post here anytime.

 

[Jenniflower]

I can only agree with everything the other women have as well as to add that this isn't just a home birthing forum. It's also for those women who are hoping for natural births in a hospital as well. Because of your situation home may not be an option (though that's not to say you can't try!) but natural birth totally is! As you've said you've had that with your second and can totally do it again! Please don't feel like you can't be here or aren't allowed to for some reason. We're all about helping each other out no matter what the circumstances. And as many have said it's a state of mind.

 

[Guera]

thank you so much for sharing your story.
I think it is more than ok for you to post here, it is not the births you have had that matters, it is what you feel and believe that matter.
I have had 3 c-sections and desperately want a homebirth this time. So far it has been a long road trying to get anyone to listen to me, but Im not giving up hope.

I really hope you get the birth you want.

 

[PeanutBean]

Ditto everything that's been said and welcome over here. I don't know if others agree but I have found my first difficult birth (nothing on yours of course!) has provoked a process of analysis, reflection and research that wouldn't have happened otherwise and I hope that my journey helps others who may have had similar experiences or who are planning a first birth and will better understand their options because of my experience. I really believe that the difficult births are as important as the blissful ones in helping us all better understand birth as a whole and the options that are or should be available to us whatever our circumstances.

I agree that natural birthing is a way of thinking and it's possible to improve the experience for mums and babies however complicated the pregnancy or labour. Just a little dignity and respect from the medics would make a big difference to how many feel about their experience. I hope you find the section as inspirational, supportive and comfortable as I have.