I refuse to go to my midwife appointments!!

[Mummy_to_be87]

I am sick and tired of my midwife community care team!! They are so ignorant and dont have the time of day for me!! I was late last week arriving to my appointment as I had another appointment and rung them to tell them I would be late and it was ok!! When I got there the clinic was over but the midwives were still in their little room!! One midwife said that there was no doctors available to see me and they had to get back to the hospital so she made me wait in the waiting room for half an hour then came out to get me and said I suppose a midwife can check you!! I went in and she done my BP, felt my tummy, measured it and that was it!! I mentioned my visual disturbances and headaches and she said I wasnt eating enough!! I was fuming!! I left and decided that it was because I was late and dropped it!! Over the past two months, I have been told by different midwives and doctors that my dates are all different!! One week I was 36 weeks then the next I was 33 weeks I mean seriously how on earth do they work that out!! I asked for a sweep and was told no because I was only 36 weeks even though the hospital done a thorough scan and told me I was 39 weeks!! My community care team really have no clue whatsoever!! I had to tell them how to work the electric blood pressure monitor!! Now because they have it in their head that I am 36 weeks even though the hospital told me my dates are spot on, the midwives wont give me a sweep or induce me and are expecting me to go until the end of June by which I will be way too overdue!! If something happens to me or my baby I will sue!! I am considering going to my GP and explaining everything and see what they suggest as I cant go on with this stress!! My notes show that one week I was 33 weeks the next I was 37 weeks, the following I was 35 weeks so surely the gp will see this and then see the hospital stated I am 39 weeks!! Just a rant but I am not going near my community midwife team again, they are hopeless!! Oh and one midwife who has been there for 30 years had to watch a student take blood from me as she needed tips because she had tried three times and couldnt get blood when the student tried once and succeeded!! I am so through with this care team!! I am considering just ringing the hospital if I need anything!! Im so mad today, must be hormones but I hate how I have been treated from day one!!

 

[butterflywolf]

*hugs* I don't have any advice but damn! Seems like they can't get their 'crap' together. I think that's what I would do is talk to the hospital and see if there is anyway they can call the mw's and let them know that you are just about on your due date.

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

its just so stressful that im always told something different all the time, why dont they just believe me and the gps from the hospital?

 

[butterflywolf]

Because you need to wear a 'white coat' next time you see them so they think you're an actual doctor? Okay bad humor joke in the morning. This is why I usually just start crawling out of bed at this time.

Just out of my own curiosity, would your last menstrual cycle match up to the 39 weeks? Have you tried telling them look at your last time you had your period and see what they say?

Other thing is a letter from a doctor that states you are that far along and if they have any questions to contact him/her?

 

[Guppy051708]

 

[iluvmyfamily]

I don't think it's hormones, you have every right to be pissed off like this!! How can they get your measurements screwed up that many times?! I would just go straight to the hospital and tell them you're not feeling so well, you're not sure how far along you are at this point because your doctors tell you different things all the time, and you just need to be seen for reassurance. I am sure they will check you out thoroughly.

 

[Lilli]

I'd get the hospital involved hun. *if* you were to go 2 weeks over due, it could be dangerous for you and baby so you need to nail down exactly when baby is due and work to that date. If you get to two weeks over, you may need inducing etc.
How ridiculous that they are giving you such different dates?!
I do think it's very important to get it sorted though, for your own health and your baby's.
Which country are you in?

 

[tristansmum]

Don't they have to go by your dating scan? What dies that say? If you are not happy go to the head midwife.

 

[JFG]

I agree i thought the whole idea of the 12 week dating scan was to date the pregnancy as some women's periods can be irregular! What date did the hospital give you at your 12 week scan the midwives should be working off that! I sympathise and have found my community midwives less than helpful!

 

[CatherineK]

I remember you posting a while
Back that you were measuring two weeks ahead by a midwife by fundal hight so you moved your dates up. If I went by what my fundal height measured, my due date would
Change weekly. Are you talking about fundal height measurements for all these different 'dates'. Your due date of record shouldn't have changes in your records at all since 12 weeks...no matter what you measure. Baby will come when ready Hun.

 

[MrsWhy]

Hi,

Your due dates should be on your green notes so I wonder if the midwives are going from these dates? From the date of your EDD, does this make you 36 or 39 weeks?

If you really are unhappy with the service of the midwives then you could always go through the PALS service (I think it's the Patient Advice Liaison Service) where they will try to sort stuff out for you (that's what they are there for) or as others have said, to go to the head midwife at the hospital.

Hope you get things sorted xx

 

[Erinsmummy]

I am sick and tired of my midwife community care team!! They are so ignorant and dont have the time of day for me!! I was late last week arriving to my appointment as I had another appointment and rung them to tell them I would be late and it was ok!! When I got there the clinic was over but the midwives were still in their little room!! One midwife said that there was no doctors available to see me and they had to get back to the hospital so she made me wait in the waiting room for half an hour then came out to get me and said I suppose a midwife can check you!! I went in and she done my BP, felt my tummy, measured it and that was it!! I mentioned my visual disturbances and headaches and she said I wasnt eating enough!! I was fuming!! I left and decided that it was because I was late and dropped it!! Over the past two months, I have been told by different midwives and doctors that my dates are all different!! One week I was 36 weeks then the next I was 33 weeks I mean seriously how on earth do they work that out!! I asked for a sweep and was told no because I was only 36 weeks even though the hospital done a thorough scan and told me I was 39 weeks!! My community care team really have no clue whatsoever!! I had to tell them how to work the electric blood pressure monitor!! Now because they have it in their head that I am 36 weeks even though the hospital told me my dates are spot on, the midwives wont give me a sweep or induce me and are expecting me to go until the end of June by which I will be way too overdue!! If something happens to me or my baby I will sue!! I am considering going to my GP and explaining everything and see what they suggest as I cant go on with this stress!! My notes show that one week I was 33 weeks the next I was 37 weeks, the following I was 35 weeks so surely the gp will see this and then see the hospital stated I am 39 weeks!! Just a rant but I am not going near my community midwife team again, they are hopeless!! Oh and one midwife who has been there for 30 years had to watch a student take blood from me as she needed tips because she had tried three times and couldnt get blood when the student tried once and succeeded!! I am so through with this care team!! I am considering just ringing the hospital if I need anything!! Im so mad today, must be hormones but I hate how I have been treated from day one!!

When you had your dating scan, thats assuming you had one? As long as it was between 11 and 14 weeks the due date you were given would be accurate. So whatever date you were given is what you should go by. If you didnt have a dating scan then they would calculate from your last period. What was the date of your last period?

It sounds very strange to me that they would change your dates...
Someone did say they saw you had posted before saying about measuring ahead, if thats so, it doesnt matter. Your due date would stay the same no matter what your measurements of fundal height.

I am currently measuring by fundal height at 36 weeks, but im def over 40, as my period and dating scan says so!

As for feeling like they dont care, im really not sure what you can do about that, all the midwives cant be useless? You always get the odd one who seems to know nothing and you wonder how the hell they even qualified but not all of them... If i was you, id ring my midwife and ask for a chat, tell her how confused i was about dates ect and ask her to explain. Also tell her how you feel you have been treated.

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

From the beginning I was told the 18th May which is exact to my dates and what the hospital says but along the way the midwives/gps have decided that Im further or not so far depending on the person doing the scans etc! It just concerns me because if they say im 34 weeks and Im having regular contractions it is too early but if Im 39 weeks then I would be alright to give birth! I have an appointment with my gp to sort it out once and for all

 

[theamanda]

Let us know what they say! I hope they tell you you're right!

 

[summer rain]

This happened to me with my eldest, due to me being new to the area and at the time the local NHS being a total shambles I didn't have my dating scan until I was by dates, 20 weeks then they chopped and changed my due date so many times. That was because my dating scan was late but even in this pregnancy some of the midwives etc (not my usual one) have put my dates wrong. I also feel the 12 week scan date was wrong and my original EDD is correct though I suppose it doesn't matter much as it was only put back by five days xx

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

I wouldnt mind if it was only a matter of days but by my dates 18th May is so much different than the 14th June! I see when they scan me sometimes the measurements say to the exact date I am and then they keep re measuring me inside the babys lines which then makes the baby go back 4 weeks! When they scan the baby from the outside of one side to the outside of the other side the baby measures perfectly then they start changing things! I just wish they would go by my dates which was perfect at the 12 week scan and let me enjoy this pregnancy without stress

 

[xforuiholdonx]

Hope you get some answers soon!

 

[CatherineK]

Is the father still saying it cant be his If born after may 28th? Is that adding to your stress?

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

The father has left me and my 2 kids he says he doesnt want anything to do with them or me I am so stressed these days, its just one thing after another!

 

[Noo]

Your due date should be the date from your 12 week dating scan and this should NOT change no matter how many other scans you have. Contact the hospital antenatal clinic/maternity day unit tomorrow and ask to be seen there and arrange date for induction. NICE guidelines state you shouldn't be offered a sweep until 41 weeks if this isn't your first baby.