Hi all,
Not sure if this is the correct place to post but thought I'd give it a try. Last Thursday, I had some minimal pink spotting that I thought nothing off. Flash forward to Friday noon time and I had excruciating pain sitting at my desk at work so ran to the toilet! To my horror, there was extremely thick and clotty blood, and I knew something wasn't right, so went to A&E ASAP.
After a 8 hour wait, bloods and a scan revealed I was indeed pregnant and that the sac was a gestational 10+ weeks but it had to be confirmed by a follow up appointment on Tuesday. I was advised to take some medication to help the sac come away instead of nature taking its course which I accepted. I was also told I could possibly need a D&C if things weren't on their way by Tuesday, since I could be at risk of infection. I didn't know I was pregnant, I hadn't had a period since December 2014 so wondered what could be going on as I didn't feel right. Might I add, I took 4 tests within the space of 2 weeks before the miscarriage happened and they were all BFN's.
I was so shocked and angry that I didn't know I was pregnant, and wondered if I could have prevented it (I know I couldn't have). I was absolutely heartbroken and wanted that baby the moment I was told my bloods were positive for HCG. Tuesday morning I had even more intensive pains and the sac finally came away. I went for my scan and of course, being in the maternity unit, it was full of heavily pregnant women, of whom reduced me to tears if I took a look for too long. I even saw multiple heavily pregnant ladies outside the unit smoking, which made me want to scream ''How comes you're granted your baby yet mine was taken from me?''
The doctor then diagnosed a (now complete) incomplete miscarriage, and I was sent home with pain killers and a leaflet.
My partner has been fantastic since me explaining my feelings in black and white (a typical bloke, I had to), and of course my Mum talking about it to him (she herself has been through six miscarriages). At first, he didn't understand my sadness and thought well if I didn't know of the pregnancy, why would I be bothered? He didn't understand that I'd lost our baby and is now upset that we never even knew I was pregnant.
Flash forward to today, and I feel the same amount of loss and hopelessness. But, I feel as if my only way to feeling better is to carry again.
Are these feelings common? I have always wanted children, but I hadn't quite imagined having them any time soon until now. My partner is 21, I myself am only 17. We both have good full time jobs (of which I enjoy), and a place of our own. My Mum supports the idea of us trying since she herself cannot imagine coping with her first miscarriage if she hadn't been pregnant with my sister so soon afterwards. One of the things advised to me was to look at what I'd have to sacrifice at this stage, which is fair enough, but I cannot think of anything (apart from my sanity from sleep like all new parents lol). I haven't been out on a 'party scene' for well over a year, since I don't enjoy them. If I go out, it's more or less with my DP to celebrate with family. My weekends are usually spent seeing my little siblings (of whom are a great deal younger). All of my friends are quite a great deal older (due to meeting through work etc), and have children, so the natural occurrence of losing friends with less responsibility isn't there.
It's like an open void that needs filling. Of course, I don't want to try just yet, as I'm heavily mourning my lost little one and for some reason, there mere thought of sex makes me feel ill due to it reminding me of how we created our little one. There are just too many mixed feelings associated and luckily enough my DP has a very low libido so there's no rush or initiating.
P.S, nothing is set in stone as the little bit of reasoning left within me tells me not to make a decision until these pregnancy hormones have well and truly subsided.
Not sure if this is the correct place to post but thought I'd give it a try. Last Thursday, I had some minimal pink spotting that I thought nothing off. Flash forward to Friday noon time and I had excruciating pain sitting at my desk at work so ran to the toilet! To my horror, there was extremely thick and clotty blood, and I knew something wasn't right, so went to A&E ASAP.
After a 8 hour wait, bloods and a scan revealed I was indeed pregnant and that the sac was a gestational 10+ weeks but it had to be confirmed by a follow up appointment on Tuesday. I was advised to take some medication to help the sac come away instead of nature taking its course which I accepted. I was also told I could possibly need a D&C if things weren't on their way by Tuesday, since I could be at risk of infection. I didn't know I was pregnant, I hadn't had a period since December 2014 so wondered what could be going on as I didn't feel right. Might I add, I took 4 tests within the space of 2 weeks before the miscarriage happened and they were all BFN's.
I was so shocked and angry that I didn't know I was pregnant, and wondered if I could have prevented it (I know I couldn't have). I was absolutely heartbroken and wanted that baby the moment I was told my bloods were positive for HCG. Tuesday morning I had even more intensive pains and the sac finally came away. I went for my scan and of course, being in the maternity unit, it was full of heavily pregnant women, of whom reduced me to tears if I took a look for too long. I even saw multiple heavily pregnant ladies outside the unit smoking, which made me want to scream ''How comes you're granted your baby yet mine was taken from me?''
The doctor then diagnosed a (now complete) incomplete miscarriage, and I was sent home with pain killers and a leaflet.
My partner has been fantastic since me explaining my feelings in black and white (a typical bloke, I had to), and of course my Mum talking about it to him (she herself has been through six miscarriages). At first, he didn't understand my sadness and thought well if I didn't know of the pregnancy, why would I be bothered? He didn't understand that I'd lost our baby and is now upset that we never even knew I was pregnant.
Flash forward to today, and I feel the same amount of loss and hopelessness. But, I feel as if my only way to feeling better is to carry again.
Are these feelings common? I have always wanted children, but I hadn't quite imagined having them any time soon until now. My partner is 21, I myself am only 17. We both have good full time jobs (of which I enjoy), and a place of our own. My Mum supports the idea of us trying since she herself cannot imagine coping with her first miscarriage if she hadn't been pregnant with my sister so soon afterwards. One of the things advised to me was to look at what I'd have to sacrifice at this stage, which is fair enough, but I cannot think of anything (apart from my sanity from sleep like all new parents lol). I haven't been out on a 'party scene' for well over a year, since I don't enjoy them. If I go out, it's more or less with my DP to celebrate with family. My weekends are usually spent seeing my little siblings (of whom are a great deal younger). All of my friends are quite a great deal older (due to meeting through work etc), and have children, so the natural occurrence of losing friends with less responsibility isn't there.
It's like an open void that needs filling. Of course, I don't want to try just yet, as I'm heavily mourning my lost little one and for some reason, there mere thought of sex makes me feel ill due to it reminding me of how we created our little one. There are just too many mixed feelings associated and luckily enough my DP has a very low libido so there's no rush or initiating.
P.S, nothing is set in stone as the little bit of reasoning left within me tells me not to make a decision until these pregnancy hormones have well and truly subsided.
