I want a divorce!!

[Liesje]

I know I shouldn't, but I do...
OH is never home, when he is it's just to sleep or do laundry and I'm stuck here the rest of the time by myself because we live far away from my friends and family (so we can be closer to his friends and family). Before I got pregnant I used to tag along with him on business trips and we did fun things, now I'm excluded from everything. Nothing he does really lends itself to bring babies along, when I suggest we do something baby friendly he thinks it's stupid and says I should go by myself if I want to go...
My life would be so much simpler if I lived by myself... It's not like it would be any different doing everything by myself, but at least I would live closer to family and friends who actually have time for me.
I don't even care about getting child support or not, and I doubt he would care about visitation..
Not sure what the point of this thread is... Do they have divorce journals? lol

 

[whatwillbe]

I don't have much advice Hun, except don't make any major decisions just yet if you can, being pregnant makes your hormones go wild ! And things might seem worse to you at the moment than they really are, and I don't know why but a lot of men seem to change once their oh's are expecing, vie read it so many times on here lol, sometimes makes me actually glad to be single ! Haha
Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel ? X

 

[Liesje]

I've tried talking to him but he never has time. He has time for everyone else but when I need something he acts like I'm a codependent invalid.
I kmow if I leave I'm going to look like the most horrible person on the planet. He's such a nice guy, gets along with everyone so I should have nothing to complain about but it really sucks being ignored all the time.

 

[Dezireey]

Have you tried being very serious and honest with him? e.g actually sat him down and told him that you are considering leaving because of the reasons you have told us? I'm a strong believer with men that if they are prepared to let you go or don't freak out when you threaten to go ( unless you do it all the time lol) then they are not worth staying with.This complacency they seem to have in a relationship is a killer for most women. We need to feel valued and always reminded that we are still attractive to them and worth their love and time. They just don't get it. Many a man has lost his woman by simply doing nothing or ignoring her. Make sure he knows hun that you have one foot out the door and you are deadly serious about it. If he doesnt give a toss, well then you have your answer. Good luck xx hugs xx

 

[deafgal]

yeah, have a talk with him, and tell him that either one of you should leave (personally, I would have him leave as the kids need a house but you want to be closer to family so that's understandable). Don't mention divorce yet, you will cross that bridge when you get there, but for now, just see how it goes.

 

[Liesje]

The house is part of the problem. We spent a ton on money to live close to his family. Of all of them, none have come to visit or even call other than his mom and dad. My MIL is the only one who seems interested in our son, my FIL has never touched him... and they all live 5 minutes away.
My family lives far away in the country where housing is cheap, I could easily afford my own house. My son screams and cries when we leave my parents house but I don't think he even knows who OH or my in-laws are.
It breaks my heart that the people who want to see my son don't get to and the ones that live close couldn't care less.
If I talk to him I know I'll get his standard response "what do you want from me?" and "you do whatever you want".

 

[Ceejay123]

Bless you Honey - I'm sorry you're feeling this way. If it's something you're serious about, I think you have a lot of talking to do with your Hubby x

 

[Dezireey]

If he's got a standard response and says things like 'do whatever you want' . I would go ahead and do what you want, which is to leave, if you are desperately unhappy and want to be closer to home he needs to know that you mean what you say. For some reason it doesn't sound as if he's taking you seriously. Could you suggest time apart or time to be with your relatives? Two people have to work at a marriage. The moment it turns into a one man band, it's doomed.

 

[tooyoung]

how about a temporary fix - pack up some things and go stay with your parents for a week. Talk to your mom and hopefully get some advice since you feel so alone. i actually did this many times, and it always helped.

 

[Jennifurball]

I was going to suggest a trial separation, maybe rent your own place near family for a few months and see how it goes. Divorce is very drastic and should really be a last resort. Hope you make the right decision, although you do sound desperately unhappy. I know how you feel, being a single parent really is ok when you consider how hard it is with someone you don't want to be with.

 

[tooyoung]

I totally agree with Jennifurball

 

[AerisandAlex]

I've run into this issue with my DH. We would go out and do all kinds of things before we go PG but afterwards he was very secluded. I've found that, after speaking with a therapist together, that he actually felt secluded from me. I was getting all the attention because I was pregnant and he wasn't getting anything at all. Everyone was focused on me and the baby and not on him so he kind of walked himself out of the picture for awhile and I felt he was being resentful to. He'd go to work, come home, play his xbox and go to bed. Maybe we'd have a good night here or there, but there really wasn't any 'fun' anymore. He found work was where he was wanted so that's where he stayed a lot.

I'd definitely have a sit down and see if maybe you guys could talk out what's going on, with a therapist or between each other. He sounds like my DH was and I'm sure if you guys could talk things out you'd find out what he's really thinking