I want to see my daughter more...

[GaryB]

Hi

Hope someone has some advice for me.
My daughters mum and i sparated 18 months ago. I met a new partner 8 months ago, we are happily settled with our own place. My partner is at uni full time and i work full time monday to friday, here is my issue.

At the moment i get to see my daughter from friday evening to saturday afternoon only having her 18 hours which 10 of those she is asleep. She has to be back on a saturday due to a family friend who wants to see her and have her stop every week. The issue is the family friend is being allowed by my ex to see my daughter more than what i do. I have offered emediation on the grounds of i get to see my daughter everyother weekend for the whole weekend as i want to spend more quality time with her. As i dont want to stop the family friend seeing my daughter, she can see her on the weekend that i dont have her.
She agreed to this arrangement then only two hours later changed her mind and said that its not suitable due to the family friend having my daughter every week.
Does anybody think that what we initially agreed on is unreasonable?
Does anybody know legally what grounds i stand on with seeing my daughter and the family friend issue?

Many thanks

 

[chels24uk]

i think what you agreed (every other weekend for the full weekend) is very reasonable. Surely you have more rights than the family friend?! Id ask again, and if not, maybe get some legal advise x

 

[sophxx]

id seek legal advice as what your asking is very reasonable x

 

[GaryB]

Thanks for the advice, a bit of confrontation happened yesterday which made me think why is this family friend been like this.

I had my daughter over night as usual and the family friend come to pick up my daughter (30 minutes early. I know its half an hour but I really want as much time as possible) and I had to tell her that me wanting to see my daughter for a hole weekend is very resonable, this resulted in the family friend starting to shout about the hole situation, I then told her to stop shouting in front of my daughter and go out side and wait till 4 oclock if she was going to carry on. Then she continued with calling me an idiot and that she had spoke to the CAB and that I have no chance of seeing my daughter, and that I am only doing this because I have a new job.

Anyway, before this I spent 45 minutes or there abouts on the phone to two family solicitors about my situation, and I have been told the family friend of my ex has no rights over seeing my daughter. I have every right to see my daughter on a weekend and that every other weekend is more than acceptable.

I cant believe the hassle I am having as some farthers just get up and go, never speak to children they have or care about there welfare.

I am really glad I found this site as I can just say what I think and what I know.

Thanks people

 

[sophxx]

sorry about what happened yesterday you need to go to the solictors and get it put in wrighting and take it from there it could be you habve to go to court but at least it will be written down your ex cant change it

have you not thought about going for 50/50 custody?

 

[GaryB]

Hi soph, how do you mean 50/50?

 

[lou_w34]

Hi soph, how do you mean 50/50?

By 50/50 she means you both literally 'share' your child equally.

Personally i would not suggest this at all to your ex.
She is being very unreasonable about you having your LO every other weekend, so i cant see her reacting well if you told her you wanted 50/50 custody.

Also it is quite unlikley you would get 50/50. Not many parents do, as it is seen better for the child to have one main home with visitations with the other parent.

But the family friend has no rights what so ever, i would get a solicitor to write her a letter, letting her no this!

Good luck

xx

 

[littlekitten8]

I think every other weekend for the whole weekend is reasonable. As Lou said I would get it in writing from your solicitor and ask them to write you a letter to her confirming this. If she still doesn't allow it then you will have to take her to court. I hope it doesn't come to this and that she starts being more reasonable!

 

[sophxx]

Nearly every person we deal with at work goes fit split custody and melt 85 Orr cent get it now espicalky if there was no violence involved in the relationship it often starts with over nights and then moves on to split it could be something to discuss with your solicitor! Good luck what ever you decide to do

 

[billy2mm]

how old is lo?

it sounds odd to me that a family friend has overnight regular visitation to your daughter

i would go to a solicitor and get them to write to your ex suggesting mediation to get this all sorted out.

as for the family friend shouting the odds in front of your lo then i would also get this mentioned in the letter from the solicitor and make it clear that if this happens again you wont hesitate to call the police as this is not healthy for your daughter.