I want to try soon but it just doesnt seem logical

[xolynn]

So my DS is 4 years old in 2018 he will be 5. He has been talking so much about babies and siblings lately. I really would love to have a daughter as well or even another son if thats how it turned out. I'd like there age gap to not be much more than this. However I'm also focusing on my career finally now that DS is getting a little older. Im so torn on what to do! Me and my OH are struggling financially so he really needs me to be working. Its just so unfortunate how hard it is to live on our wages that bringing another child into the mix seems so unfair. I have no idea what is the right decision! If I wait a few more years the age gap is going to be pretty signifigant. I guess I'm just looking for advice from other ladies who may have been in similar situations??

 

[heaveneats]

I have been there, I was a young mom with my first and DH and I (whom was just my boyfriend at the time) we had her as an oopsie and we both still lived at home- Luckily i had a full time job not great pay but at least it was something, and DH had just been hired full time as a firefighter with good pay. We definitely struggled living in two separate houses it was a lot of back and forth, but we were able to save up money during that time period and bought our first house together, then it got really hard, bills were crazy and we had to borrow from our parents to stay afloat, we saved where we could budgeted likes crazy and didn't do many things for us - movie nights at home were all we got. Eventually we had enough money to be comfortable, Emma was 2.5 years old by then so we decided to have another, that being said we had sat down with all the numbers to make sure we could do it with me off work for a year only collecting employment insurance. You also need to think about that it will cost more money for childcare with 2 as opposed to 1. Really just sit down and look at your expenses, you feel a lot better knowing you will be okay, and if you need more time to get there then just wait. I know its hard to wait especially when you wants your kids close together but it would be a lot less stressfull to wait a little while, get yourself sorted and then have your next one WHat ever decision you make i'm sure it will all work out

 

[bearnadette]

We were in a similar situation to you but are now at the other end of it, my daughter is nearly 7 now and we are waiting to try this November. I'd have liked to have done it years ago for her sake and mines but financially we weren't ready and decided not to put so much stress on our family just for a few years difference.

I have panicked a bit about the age gap but I've convinced myself it will be fine and we're now looking forward to having a school aged child alongside a new born. Although they will never attend school together, I think it'll be a good mix xx

 

[ja14]

This has been on my mind a lot lately! There are so many factors to consider when we will be TTC again.

My son was born May 2016. Instead of returning to work, I decided to be a SAHM and return to school to become a teacher. Previously, I wanted a 3-3 1/2 age different, but that wouldn't work on this career path. I won't graduate until Dec 2019, and likely wouldn't have a full-time teaching job until July 2020. Since I wouldn't want to get pregnant my first year and then try to plan a summer baby, that means baby wouldn't be here til 2022. A 6 year age gap just breaks my heart, because I've always felt strongly about having kids close than age. I grew up as an only child and wished I wouldn't have.
Well, now I'm considering earning a non-teaching degree and graduating Dec 2018. I would try to plan a baby due Jan. 2019, and the age gap would be 2 1/2 years. That almost sounds too small, but with this path it would be the best time because I could stay home as long as I felt necessary before starting a new job.

Finances are also a concern for us too. We are currently living on my husband's modest income and I'm racking up student loans. Also, our son is about to start daycare due to my class schedule. Daycare is as much as our mortgage, and thinking about paying it has been stressful. However, he's on the brink of a really great promotion, so it's just been a waiting game. If/when he gets this new job title, it will be such a relief.

 

[GingerPanda]

Me too!

But I almost feel kind of like I don't belong here, because I don't have really any of the road blocks you guys have.

DD will be 2 at the beginning of September. We thought I had a uterine deformity (long story, doc who did my c-section lied so I wouldn't try to have a VBAC), but it turns out I don't. So then we thought maybe we wouldn't wait until DD was 5 to try again. I'd kind of like them to be closer in age, in the hopes that they would play.

I am 10 and 15 years younger than my sisters, so I was basically an only child. And then my nephew was born when I was 5, and I hated him, so...



I'm a mess. Money isn't really an issue for us, and we just built a new big house, so space isn't either. I'm a SAHM, so my work is also not a problem.

Really the only thing holding us back is that all our memories of the bad parts of having a newborn are still fresh. The words "witching hour" still make me want to physically vomit. And yet, the baby fever persists!

 

[ja14]

Gingerpanda- I wouldn't let the newborn fears hold you back too much. That stage goes by quickly, and every newborn is different anyways. My son was a little angel lol we had some issues with best feeding, but other than that is was wonderful. Next time I may have a baby that cries all day and night, but I sure hope not!