juicyfruity
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- May 8, 2012
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Hi ladies, 
Just wanted to share my story! tecnically i wasnt adopted but i was fostered for a long period of time till i was 18 and they are my family.
my background was pretty horrific (fetal alcohol syndrome, born addicted to drugs, abusive mum and dad, neglect, used in child pornography and prostitution etc)
When i was 13 i was finally put into care. But until i was 15 and a half i was trooped through families who all deemed me 'too difficult' and 'hard work' and off i would go again. I was a pretty rough case. I didnt understand why they werent beating me, why my foster parents didnt want to have sex with me and i was angry and scared. and so confused.
At fifteen and a half i landed with this wonderful family. haha i'll call them the Foster's for this as dont want to give away private info. Mr and Mrs Foster and their two kids, two boys aged eight and ten. They werent any religion they were just two lovely people. And they stuck by even when i was being an absoulte little sh*t!
i was definately 'hard work' i screamed and shouted, i threw things, broke things, self harmed, attempted suicide, stopped eating and was diagnosed anorexic and hospitalised. refused my tube feedings and kept pulling my tube out. start binging and purging. i did drugs i siad i hated them i ran away. i was not a happy chappy! but they stuck by. they didnt treat me like a guest they treated me like a family member. they let me help make dinner, and do bits around the house. i got to choose how i wanted my room. they took me to the library and the movies if i wanted to go. helped with my homework.
i slowly slowly started to feel at home with them.i dont think i ever really fully trusted them but i came pretty damn close. Mr Foster really taught me what a normal non abusive dad was like. Every time i tried to 'seduce' him he gently explained it wasnt what he wanted it wasnt what he expected from me. He was not disgusted by my behaviour he took it in his stride. He was always honest and nice to me, when he was angry he didnt hurt me he expressed it verbally. We talked through it and then it was over. No beatings no rape just talked it over and let it go. Mrs Foster was motherly but not overbearing. She worried a lot about me but she was a determined steely woman and she always said she would never ever let me go. She would stick by.
She wouldnt let me get away with my bad behavior either! she would talk to me about it and explain it wasnt okay. She talked about her expectations as a parent, how they applied to not just me but the boys too. I really liked my little brothers too. We were all treated equally.
i went through severe anxiety attacks and i struggled a lot with myself. but they kept by me. it was an amazing experience. i felt loved and cared for. there was food and meals readily available and i learnt i was 'allowed' to eat and not to feel guilty and that really helped me with the eating disorder. i had previously felt guilty and 'bad' for eating. i had nightmares and was very depressed but i had times when i just smiled because we were doing family pizza and watching star wars and i felt so included and at home!
i did correspondence school, and they even helped with my homework and were so non judgemental even though i had the reading age of a seven year old! they just helped and supported me.
at 18 i left and after a few months struggling on my own called them they said i could always come back but they also gave me the courage and strength and support at a doctors visit who then admitted me to an inpatient unit. I moved on to outpatient and worked hard on all my issues. i still have trouble with PTSD and anxiety and feeling dirty etc. issues i know will probably stick with me forever but i can manage now. i still call the Fosters and go to family events. They say they are proud of me they always knew i could do it. How scared they were of losing me especially when i attempted suicide and when i was crazily underweight.
i know though that without there unrelenting support and love i would not have gotten this far at ALL. they made mistakes like all parents do, they were not 'perfect' but they were willingly to admit their mistakes, apologise when they were in the wrong and talk to me.
if any of you guys were thinking of adopting an older kid not neccessarily a teen but especially so! then i'm telling you it will be HARD but we are not irreversably damaged. there is hope. i wouldnt have found it without the Fosters. They did so much for me.
good luck to all you people and know you are making a huge difference in someone's life no matter what the age.
Just wanted to share my story! tecnically i wasnt adopted but i was fostered for a long period of time till i was 18 and they are my family.
my background was pretty horrific (fetal alcohol syndrome, born addicted to drugs, abusive mum and dad, neglect, used in child pornography and prostitution etc)
When i was 13 i was finally put into care. But until i was 15 and a half i was trooped through families who all deemed me 'too difficult' and 'hard work' and off i would go again. I was a pretty rough case. I didnt understand why they werent beating me, why my foster parents didnt want to have sex with me and i was angry and scared. and so confused.
At fifteen and a half i landed with this wonderful family. haha i'll call them the Foster's for this as dont want to give away private info. Mr and Mrs Foster and their two kids, two boys aged eight and ten. They werent any religion they were just two lovely people. And they stuck by even when i was being an absoulte little sh*t!
i was definately 'hard work' i screamed and shouted, i threw things, broke things, self harmed, attempted suicide, stopped eating and was diagnosed anorexic and hospitalised. refused my tube feedings and kept pulling my tube out. start binging and purging. i did drugs i siad i hated them i ran away. i was not a happy chappy! but they stuck by. they didnt treat me like a guest they treated me like a family member. they let me help make dinner, and do bits around the house. i got to choose how i wanted my room. they took me to the library and the movies if i wanted to go. helped with my homework.
i slowly slowly started to feel at home with them.i dont think i ever really fully trusted them but i came pretty damn close. Mr Foster really taught me what a normal non abusive dad was like. Every time i tried to 'seduce' him he gently explained it wasnt what he wanted it wasnt what he expected from me. He was not disgusted by my behaviour he took it in his stride. He was always honest and nice to me, when he was angry he didnt hurt me he expressed it verbally. We talked through it and then it was over. No beatings no rape just talked it over and let it go. Mrs Foster was motherly but not overbearing. She worried a lot about me but she was a determined steely woman and she always said she would never ever let me go. She would stick by.
She wouldnt let me get away with my bad behavior either! she would talk to me about it and explain it wasnt okay. She talked about her expectations as a parent, how they applied to not just me but the boys too. I really liked my little brothers too. We were all treated equally.
i went through severe anxiety attacks and i struggled a lot with myself. but they kept by me. it was an amazing experience. i felt loved and cared for. there was food and meals readily available and i learnt i was 'allowed' to eat and not to feel guilty and that really helped me with the eating disorder. i had previously felt guilty and 'bad' for eating. i had nightmares and was very depressed but i had times when i just smiled because we were doing family pizza and watching star wars and i felt so included and at home!
i did correspondence school, and they even helped with my homework and were so non judgemental even though i had the reading age of a seven year old! they just helped and supported me.
at 18 i left and after a few months struggling on my own called them they said i could always come back but they also gave me the courage and strength and support at a doctors visit who then admitted me to an inpatient unit. I moved on to outpatient and worked hard on all my issues. i still have trouble with PTSD and anxiety and feeling dirty etc. issues i know will probably stick with me forever but i can manage now. i still call the Fosters and go to family events. They say they are proud of me they always knew i could do it. How scared they were of losing me especially when i attempted suicide and when i was crazily underweight.
i know though that without there unrelenting support and love i would not have gotten this far at ALL. they made mistakes like all parents do, they were not 'perfect' but they were willingly to admit their mistakes, apologise when they were in the wrong and talk to me.
if any of you guys were thinking of adopting an older kid not neccessarily a teen but especially so! then i'm telling you it will be HARD but we are not irreversably damaged. there is hope. i wouldnt have found it without the Fosters. They did so much for me.
good luck to all you people and know you are making a huge difference in someone's life no matter what the age.
