Since my first pregnancy I've come to realise that my mum treats me differently to anyone else and dosnt have an ounce of empathy when it comes to me. If its my brother or sister that are say unwell, yeah, they are on deaths door and she rally's round doing anything for them, especially my brother who is certainly her favourite. He is a year younger than me and still lives at home, he is always buying her gifts and she him, she makes his bed and as soon as he's in from work asks if he wants a drink or a sandwhich making. It's ridiculous. He is nearly 27! This in itself dosnt bother me, but when I compare it to the constant criticism I get and the constant harsh worded lectures about what is best for my child, I can't help but be upset by it.
In my first pregnancy I was really unwell, had vet bad tachycardia and could barely leave the house. This got me really down and caused alot of anxiety, which carried on after I had my son, he was serious hard work, crying constantly and I had zero energy, felt dizzy loads and still had a problem with fast heart rate but not as bad. It all made me scared to be on my own and I relied very heavily on my mum, I was always round there. I just started getting my confidence back and doing more things on my own with my son, when I got pregnant again, this brought some fears back but I've been ok in this pregnancy compared to the last, the problem as been my hips and pains when walking, so I have relied on her again to either take him out for walks or to come with me. I also go round about 5 days a week for a few hours to break the day up. Mostly because I have no friends here anymore or none with kids that I can do anything with. I'm very shy aswell so find making new friends a massive thing now that I'm not working. So maybe this is why she feels she can be so judgmental.
What upsets me most is that she calls me a wimp, and I'm think, why?! I'm 32 weeks pregnant and when walking my hips just go completely to the point I can't walk, I get ripping pains near my belly button and loads of pressure and am out of breath really quick. I don't constantly moan or anything I just point out what I can't do due to it.
Bearing in mind my mum is constantly ill and complaining and I always look after her and check on her, and she's recently stopped smoking and I've been nothing but supportive and really told her how great she's doing. Yet I can't remember the last time she said a single positive thing to me or about me. She puts down my parenting all the time, going on about toddler beds and potty training and says me and my OH are useless because we aren't fully organised with my son and have a new baby on the way.
Ever since my son was born its been criticism and she knows better than I do, my sister is exactly the same, as soon as they got hold of my son they would be changing his nappy, bathing him, changing his clothes, when I'd literally just done it! Like I hadn't done good enough. My sister still changes his nappy as soon as she arrives and is very patronising in the way she talks like she knows everything and I haven't a clue.
I honestly try my hardest and I love me son more than anyone ever could, I just want a bit of positivity and encouragement for someone to say, you're doing good soph! Instead of making me feel worthless. I haven't got anyone else to talk to really, only my OH who is always working or stressed about something else, or who dismisses things he dosnt understand. I don't want to me made to feel useless. She's said before, I hope you're not having anymore. Like again I couldn't cope. I can't help that I've had problems with anxiety and its made me more reliant and I really do try to cope on my own now but I just have no energy and nowhere else nearby to go that dosnt involve pushing a heavy pushchair up hills and still have the anxiety on my own at times. I don't know, maybe I am a useless parent! Sorry needed to vent and have no one else to tell
That combined with a dad who is constantly making me feel bad about the weight I've put on since my first pregnancy. Can't say I'm feeling very good about myself!
In my first pregnancy I was really unwell, had vet bad tachycardia and could barely leave the house. This got me really down and caused alot of anxiety, which carried on after I had my son, he was serious hard work, crying constantly and I had zero energy, felt dizzy loads and still had a problem with fast heart rate but not as bad. It all made me scared to be on my own and I relied very heavily on my mum, I was always round there. I just started getting my confidence back and doing more things on my own with my son, when I got pregnant again, this brought some fears back but I've been ok in this pregnancy compared to the last, the problem as been my hips and pains when walking, so I have relied on her again to either take him out for walks or to come with me. I also go round about 5 days a week for a few hours to break the day up. Mostly because I have no friends here anymore or none with kids that I can do anything with. I'm very shy aswell so find making new friends a massive thing now that I'm not working. So maybe this is why she feels she can be so judgmental.
What upsets me most is that she calls me a wimp, and I'm think, why?! I'm 32 weeks pregnant and when walking my hips just go completely to the point I can't walk, I get ripping pains near my belly button and loads of pressure and am out of breath really quick. I don't constantly moan or anything I just point out what I can't do due to it.
Bearing in mind my mum is constantly ill and complaining and I always look after her and check on her, and she's recently stopped smoking and I've been nothing but supportive and really told her how great she's doing. Yet I can't remember the last time she said a single positive thing to me or about me. She puts down my parenting all the time, going on about toddler beds and potty training and says me and my OH are useless because we aren't fully organised with my son and have a new baby on the way.
Ever since my son was born its been criticism and she knows better than I do, my sister is exactly the same, as soon as they got hold of my son they would be changing his nappy, bathing him, changing his clothes, when I'd literally just done it! Like I hadn't done good enough. My sister still changes his nappy as soon as she arrives and is very patronising in the way she talks like she knows everything and I haven't a clue.
I honestly try my hardest and I love me son more than anyone ever could, I just want a bit of positivity and encouragement for someone to say, you're doing good soph! Instead of making me feel worthless. I haven't got anyone else to talk to really, only my OH who is always working or stressed about something else, or who dismisses things he dosnt understand. I don't want to me made to feel useless. She's said before, I hope you're not having anymore. Like again I couldn't cope. I can't help that I've had problems with anxiety and its made me more reliant and I really do try to cope on my own now but I just have no energy and nowhere else nearby to go that dosnt involve pushing a heavy pushchair up hills and still have the anxiety on my own at times. I don't know, maybe I am a useless parent! Sorry needed to vent and have no one else to tell
That combined with a dad who is constantly making me feel bad about the weight I've put on since my first pregnancy. Can't say I'm feeling very good about myself!
As an outsider reading your post, I wonder is it partly because you all spend so much time together and they have a good bit to do with caring for your son, and that makes them feel like they have the right to a say in what goes on with him and to judge your parenting skills. I'm a very independent person, so I wouldn't want to have my family around as much as you do, much as I love my parents and we are close emotionally. When we are around both mine and OH's family, they know that Eva is my responsibility when I am there and I do all the caring for her, like changing her nappy, feeding her etc. if someone was to start trying to change her nappy as soon as we arrived I'd pull them up on it and let them know that I had just changed her. Maybe you could try being a bit firmer about the fact that you are the mother, not them. 
