Icebreaker....why are ye single mommies??

[Simmyjjj]

Hi all, im Simone and currently 30 weeks pregnant!
Im just turned 18 and am living in Ireland...
Im only new to this site as my friend recommended it as i am going to be a single mother. Im feeling very overwhelmed by the idea and at times i feel so alone because even though i have loads of support, no one sincerely knows what i am going through or the emotions that i face.

Anyway, i was hoping that others would share their stories of why they are now single mothers if ye feel comfortable talking about it?

My story is that i was with my ex for over a year before getting pregnant and i thought we loved each other but i clearly thought wrong. When i first told him i was pregnant, he was really supportive. He seemed so excited about becoming a dad and we were picking out baby names but about 2 weeks later, he rang me out of the blue and said that he was freaking out and that i had to choose between him and the baby because we are too young to have a baby( im 18 and he is 21! ).
2 days later I dumped him and told him im keeping the baby! Then a few weeks later, he text me saying that he told his parents and they were accepting of it and then he said to text me if i ever needed him and to keep him up-to date. He also agreed to come to the first scan but when i text him 2 days before the scan to confirm that he was still coming, he never replied and ended up standing me up!
Although he doesn't seem to care about his child, his mam is very excited about becoming a nana. She visits my house regularly and last week she brought me up a big hamper full of baby stuff so i said i would be nice and ask her did she want to come to my last scan next week with me and my mam and she was delighted and even wrote the date into the calendar on her phone lol.
I asked her would she ask mark if he wanted to come too but she hesitated and said that i should text him so i text him last night and politely asked him( it was the first time i text him in 4 months ) did he want to come to my 31 week scan since its my last one but he just replied `no i wont be at it`. This pissed me off because he didn't even have the courtesy to contact me during all of my pregnancy to ask about his child so i wrote back a long message saying how he would want to cop on and take responsibility and he just text back `ya well i have work` so i replied saying how i feel sorry for my child having a deadbeat dad like him and he goes `don't mind getting snappy with me, cya`. This actually caused me to burst out crying to think that he didnt give a **** about his baby that i feel kicking everyday. He has a new girlfriend who he is dating only 3 months and i have a feeling she is the one telling him not to go to the scans/ contact me.
His mother said to leave him off and have his freedom while he still can because she knows he will get his act together when he sees the baby and she said that we will have to be civil for our childs sake but i dont think i can ever talk to that boy again..
Im seriously fed up!

 

[tinkabells]

Hiya and welcome to BNB, were all here for each other and dont worry about anything were all here to share and help each other from every day to day things....
Right i am a single mum because,.....

I was on and off with the dad, we were never totally together as i didnt fully trust him, i knew he had a baby on the way when i met him, but he siad he wasnt with the mum, and that she trapped him etc, and would tell me he wished he met me before he met her blah blah
Anyway when i found out i was pregnant i hadnt seen him for a few weeks and he then told me he was still with the mother and that when me and him were together they weren't which dont believe as sometimes he was over mine all the time etc, anyway he says can we keep it quite from the football team, thats how i met him, through a friend at football, so kept it quite cos i dont like other knowing my business espicailly them lot.
But i kept telling him he would have to tell his bird at some point because it would come out, we agreed to do private settlement where he would pay for baby every month, anyway begining of july i get a message on facebook from some other bird who i think he was now sleeping with telling me they knew about me and him and our baby and was going to tell everyone, then his bird gets a message like along the same and it all came out, he denied it at 1st and then he said it was true, but that we had only slept with each other once, she believed him, she then got abussive to me so i blocked him told him where to go, changed my numbers, me and parents moved (not because of him) and he then txted a friend saying that he wanted a dna now (it was her that wrote the txt as i no how he writes) and we havent spoken since, she made him change his numbers and not to contact any of his friends which he has done!!!
But then told friend that he wants to be with me but has to stay with her cos they have loans out together, and now i am waiting for CSA to contact him and will have to start down the DNa route

Sorry went on but thats the short end of the story lol
Hope i've helped and if ya need someone to talk to im here xxx

 

[bloodbinds]

Welcome! Hope you find a home here as many have.


My story is simple, fell in love with a guy too quick, moved in with him after knowing him only 3 months, fell pregnant straight away, the guy decided he didn't love me any more. So here i am, knocked up and single! Lol.

 

[teal]

Hello and welcome

Mine is a simple story really. The pregnancy wasn't planned, my ex wasn't happy and tried to push me into a termination - he was really horrible about it - a side I hadn't seen until then. I refused because although the pregnancy wasn't planned my baby was very much loved and wanted already. He doesn't want to be involved so here I am x

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

mines fairly simple too..

my ex is a P**ck i just found out 3 years too late x

 

[lou_w34]

Hellos! Welcome, like the other girls said, its great to talk here as theres someone who will always listen, and give advice

Well im gunna be a single mum because....

I was with my ex for nearly three years when i found out i was pregnant. When i told him i got the whole, your ruining my life/have an abortion blah blah blah. I told him i didnt want to, and that was the end of it, so for two weeks he refuses to talk about it, but tells his friends that he knows if 'he's nice enough to me, ill get rid' when he asks again. Around the same time, i also found out he'd been cheating on me with one girl for a year and a half, sleeping with her and telling her he loved her. But he was also sleeping with other girls on and off aswell. So i packed his bags for him and sent him on his way. I told him id never stop him from seeing the baby, i invited him to all the scans and midwive appointments, but he never showed up, so i gave up asking him in the end and just take my friends now, as i know they really like going and appreciate being asked.

Since then we havent spoke much, mainly because when i did answer his calls or read his text, he was horrible, and it made me cry, so i decided not to bother anymore. He hasnt paid for anything, or done a single thing to prove to me he's going to be around.

To be honest though, im happier now then ive ever been with him, it took me ages to get to this stage, and i feel so proud of myself for buying everything my bubs is going to need, and for the fact that im finally standing up too him! Im glad we now live so far apart aswell! heehee

Sorry that was looooonnng... but once i get going its hard to stop hahaha

 

[lou_w34]

Haha i gave my life story compared to everyone else!!!

 

[tinkabells]

Haha i gave my life story compared to everyone else!!!

Oh no, i think i did as well lol
once i start i cant stop and wonder why my hands hurt from all the typing lol xxx

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

Haha i gave my life story compared to everyone else!!!

Oh no, i think i did as well lol
once i start i cant stop and wonder why my hands hurt from all the typing lol xxx

haha mine could be an episode from the jeremy kyle show lmao, its just easier to narrow it down to him being a P**ck xx

 

[tinkabells]

Haha i gave my life story compared to everyone else!!!

Oh no, i think i did as well lol
once i start i cant stop and wonder why my hands hurt from all the typing lol xxx

haha mine could be an episode from the jeremy kyle show lmao, its just easier to narrow it down to him being a P**ck xx

Haha love it, its better than what i call the FOB it begings with a c and ends with a t hahaha xxx

 

[Simmyjjj]

Thanks girls it comforts me to know im not alone....Im not due for another 2months but i was wondering, did any of yer FOBs not contact ye during the whole pregnancy but then have a chhange of heart and want to be in their childs life after they saw the baby for the 1st time??

 

[purpledahlia]

My FOB stopped speaking to me at 8 weeks and did the whole im a selfish bitch ruining his life thing, then at 19 weeks got in touch but was clearly all voer the place, he stopped talking for a few weeks at about 23 weeks and got back in touch about 25. then we didnt talk for weeks again and now he is in touch, and wants to be in babies life.

 

[lou_w34]

Haha i gave my life story compared to everyone else!!!

Oh no, i think i did as well lol
once i start i cant stop and wonder why my hands hurt from all the typing lol xxx

haha mine could be an episode from the jeremy kyle show lmao, its just easier to narrow it down to him being a P**ck xx

Haha love it, its better than what i call the FOB it begings with a c and ends with a t hahaha xxx

Haha and me! Once i get started its hard to try and stop me!

I spose i could have narrowed it down to him being a tosser! heehee

Ahwell

 

[Ash_P]

Welcome to baby & bump, ul find this site great for support, to be honest it got me thru the past 5 months!!

Reason im a single mum.....(get comfy) lol

Was with partner for 5 years, married for 1.5 years. We started tryin for a baby and after 2 years was told it wasnt going to happen (due to me) unless we had IVF. 6 months later I found out I was preg naturally. We couldnt of been happier, we were stronger than ever. (or so I thought) then out of the blue, he came home from work when I was 6 weeks preg, and told me he didnt love me anymore and that we had "run our course" I found out 3 days later he`d started seeing a girl from his work. I found this even harder to deal with. He put me outta our home, closed me business that I run, so not only broke my heart but took everything off me that meant anything.

Im now 24 weeks pregnant, he is still seeing his new bird, who Im told is practically living in the house. I got my own house, and am now working from home. Couldnt be happier. Dont get me wrong I have hard days, but the good days are more often and the hard days arent as hard as they once were.

He wants to be involved in babies life (or so he says) but often lets me down, as his new bird doesnt want him seeing or contacting me. And its easier for him to say no her me than it is to her. I dont let him come to scans, and he is NOT being my birthing partner, but is informed on any updates on baby.

It took some time to realise it, but it finally hit me, that Im getting the most important thing in the world and thanks to him, im getting it. I`ve also realised that its not HIM that i miss, its just the habit and the company, but someone else can give me those things and more in time when im ready

Sorry for long post, i do tend to rant abit.

Good Luck with ur pregnancy, and we are all here when needed xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Hi and welcome to BnB I'm a single mummy because when my LO was 7 months old my ex decided that actually he was gay and left me for a man. Nice

 

[thechaosismex]

Hello ladies!
FOB and i were together for a while, but decided mutually that we were more realllly good friends than anything else, i still saw him 3 or 4 times a week, sat around playing xbox and going out for meals and stuff but as best friends...
I told FOB i was pregnant in july, he then ran off and deleted me from facebook, msn, email, twitter and blocked my phone number! havent spoken to him since but i have been in contact with his sister who had no idea what was going on and hopefully she will get things moving and get the communication back up between us. hes pretty shy, quiet lad but then again should just man up and realise he has a little princess on the way!takes two to tango...


eugh men!

 

[precious-gift]

tried to have a baby for 4 years with my husband, before going for fertlity treatment. he was so chuffed when i got pregnant, even cried at my 7 week scan! found out at 16 weeks that he had been having an affair fo 2 weeks, with a girl from work, and he left me for her saying he didn't love me any more

since then he has been really nasty to me (he was never like this the 9 years we were together), but always wanted to be part of LO's life, since i had LO he hasn't seen him at all and refuses to give me maintenence, which he always said he would. think this is all down to other woman who i have since found out is cheating on him!!

havin my LO has helped a lot, i know he is all i need, love him so much

 

[XSAM]

hey thought id say hi in were i belong lol
im 20 and a single mummy too. my little boy is just 11 weeks old.
just feeling really peed off, just needing to speack to some ppl that are in thesame situation.
thought maybe when the baby was born the dad would contact me or something but hes just basically ignoring the fact i just had his baby.
awk well its his loss eh dnt know why so called (men) are even allowed to have babies.
lol x x

 

[purpledahlia]

Xsam, hes missing out!! darned men!

 

[Sherileigh]

I was just having a nosey in here as my sister is going through something similar. Her husband of 5 years, father of their 2 children has decided he doesn't like the 'family life' and is leaving her. He left her last year when she was pregnant with their 2nd baby, but came back a month later. Now he's doing it again. He was 100% useless while he was with her anyway, so it's not a huge loss.
I just wanted to say how strong you women are...and how lucky your babies are to have mom's like you!!