I'm angry.!!! (long)

[jaytee146]

Fob is really Pissing me off. my child support case was turned over to the legal department because he refused to take a DNA test without me and lo present and We're now Waiting on a court date. . . he know's it's going to take a little while and called me on my birthday inquiring as to my motives when it comes to placing him on child support."you can just tell the judge you believe i'll pay and i will pay for IT!" he now calls every week and ask "how's you and your business" i guess i should be thrilled because he's not referring to my baby as "it" anymore. on more than one occasion he's informed me that he's waiting to step up as her father because the court hasn't appointed him to do so. SERIOUSLY Everything was well and good when he was verbally and mentally abusive and towards the end our relationship got physical. . so many times he promised he'd step up and do the right thing. but you have to wait on the government to tell you to do Something you already know to do. a DNA test is 350 i've offered to pay two hundred but he doesn't want to do that. he's angry for things that happened while we were together and verbally said that's why he's being an Ass. . he's doing all this because he likes to be the one in control. she's two months he hasn't once asked to see her. . he's never said or knows how to pronounce her name. when he does call once a week for thirty seconds he repeats himself over and over. "i'm not stepping up until that day""i'll take care of her but that's it."(he always makes reference to the fact that he's moved on and i'm only doing this as a ploy to get him to be with me)i'm Freaking steaming mad! how can he not care that he's missing this!! and it makes him feel like the Shit knowing he can call and that's it. i try not to think about it but it.'s bothering me so much to the point where i think about harming him. i just want to scream! last nite he called and was drunk. i'm trying to remain sane and talk calmly but i get angry and i don't want to be that person. it just upsets me.

 

[daveww]

your in a very difficult position and it sounds as tho the father assumes he can just call once a week and its job done ! , ...you need to continue to be strong and be a good mother as from the sound of it he is never going to step up and be a real father.
this means the only parent your child is going to have is you... so you have to be double strong, the only thing i can say is no father who loves his child would wait or need a court to tell him to be a father.

 

[Laura2919]

Well for a start if he was to call me and he referred to my child as either it or business I would tell him where to take his sorry little arse! No way on this planet would I allow anyone to refer to what I created like that! Never! and neither should you.
If it were me, the next time he calls I would say either call her by her name or we dont speak, simple! Your child is a human being and that kind of talk is disrespectful not only to her but to you!
As for the rest, just let the courts handle it. Including money! He can get stuffed. I agree with Dave, you need to be strong, be ready and able to fight him all the way. If he doesnt want to be a dad fine. There are plenty of men that do and your daughter wont know any different until she is old enough to want to know. Until then just keep doing what your doing.

 

[jaytee146]

i guess a part of me feels guilty for her dad being a jerk. my biological father wasn't around and the man i've known as father passed seven years ago. i remember my mother bashing men especially my biological father so i grew up with tremendous anger towards him without coming to my own decisions. i'm so scared of doing that to my daughter i don't stand up to him. i bite my tongue. i really hope she doesn't hate me when she get's old enough to understand. . .

 

[daveww]

i guess a part of me feels guilty for her dad being a jerk. my biological father wasn't around and the man i've known as father passed seven years ago. i remember my mother bashing men especially my biological father so i grew up with tremendous anger towards him without coming to my own decisions. i'm so scared of doing that to my daughter i don't stand up to him. i bite my tongue. i really hope she doesn't hate me when she get's old enough to understand. . .

she wont hate you , your responseability is as a mother and aslong as you do that well you have nothing to worry about . if the father cant face up to his responseabilities then he will be the one that has to answer to your daughter

 

[Laura2919]

You dont need to bash him at all but you need to learn when the line is being drawn, you cannot allow him to call you and refer to the child YOU BOTH created as it or business. She is a girl and was given a name, this is it so use it. Its simple and if he cant he doesnt call.

You daughter will grow up knowing what he is all about without you even having to open your mouth and utter one word.

Your doing what a mother was put here to do. Look after and care for your child. Just because your a mother doesnt mean you can make him a father.. He can only do that and we can see where he is headed... Part time daddyville or no time daddyville..

Remember you are the single most important thing in her life...