I'm back!

[Quisty]

I was due on June 12th 2012 but my DH and I made the decision to undergo a termination after our 20 week scan showed that our precious daughter had severe spina bifida with the likelihood that she would also develop encephalitis and become brain damaged. Claire Olea was subsequently born at 20 weeks and 2 days on the 26th January and we buried her a week later.

My DH and I are heartbroken, but considering it took us 2 years to conceive Claire and I am 39 in March, we have no choice but to get back on the wagon straight away if we want to have a third child.

We will both re-commence acupuncture once my cycle commences again. The acupunturist is quite optimisitc that we will fall pregnant again quickly. She had been treating me for 2 years but after such a long time she started then treating my DH and, bang, we fell pregnant. DH is already back on the Chinese herbs he was given to help conceive Claire.

I have also left work for a few months (previously was working full time) in order to spend some much needed time with my 3 & 5 year old son and daughter and also to improve my fitness and overall health.

Anyway, I just wanted to say "HI". I do not make regular posts on the forum, but do love to follow everyone's progress.

Good luck to all those ttc, especially those ttc #1!

 

[marathongirl]

I was due on June 12th 2012 but my DH and I made the decision to undergo a termination after our 20 week scan showed that our precious daughter had severe spina bifida with the likelihood that she would also develop encephalitis and become brain damaged. Claire Olea was subsequently born at 20 weeks and 2 days on the 26th January and we buried her a week later.

My DH and I are heartbroken, but considering it took us 2 years to conceive Claire and I am 39 in March, we have no choice but to get back on the wagon straight away if we want to have a third child.

We will both re-commence acupuncture once my cycle commences again. The acupunturist is quite optimisitc that we will fall pregnant again quickly. She had been treating me for 2 years but after such a long time she started then treating my DH and, bang, we fell pregnant. DH is already back on the Chinese herbs he was given to help conceive Claire.

I have also left work for a few months (previously was working full time) in order to spend some much needed time with my 3 & 5 year old son and daughter and also to improve my fitness and overall health.

Anyway, I just wanted to say "HI". I do not make regular posts on the forum, but do love to follow everyone's progress.

Good luck to all those ttc, especially those ttc #1!

So sorry for your loss. That must have been a heart wrenching decision. I can't even imagine. I too had a loss at 12 weeks where I found out at my 12 week nt scan that the baby's hb had stopped at 11w5d. I had my scan 12w1d. It was the saddest moment of my life. The doctor did say from the look of the scan that there was something likely wrong with the baby. I guess that is natures way but it doesn't make it any easier. We have been TTC ever since that was Nov. I had a chemical pregnancy the very next cycle. Praying for a healthy sticky bean! Good luck

 

[Elski]

so sorry you're back under such heartbreaking circumstances. I wish you all the luck in the world during the months to come x

 

[anorak]

Good luck and all the in the world.

 

[Spoomie]

Hi Quisty, What a heartbreaking decision to have to make. I'm so so sorry for your loss and pray for some speedy good news to help heal the pain, though I know that nothing will take it away

Hi marathongirl, likewise, sorry for your loss too. My story is very similar to yours; I suffered my third mc in November 2010 (thank God for my beautiful, healthy, life affirming 3 year old son in amongst them) at 12+2, the day before our NT scan. I felt so relieved and lucky to be pregnant with his sibling at 42 and my initial caution slowly subsided as the first trimester drew to a close and particularly as we had seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks. However, the nightmare journey unfolded over 2 days and culminated in us holding our precious lost little baby in our hands in a room in A&E (I guess you know you're in a bad place when they put you in a room as opposed to a curtain!) on Sunday 21st November 2010. One of the hardest things for me to deal with has been that I had let my guard down having reached that 'supposed safe milestone' of 12 weeks. Since then I have been to hell and back and am only now starting to emerge from the depression that has overwhelmed me. My one piece of advice would be to relax and to live your life; I have put everything in my life on hold since the last mc and have been OCD in my attempts to conceive again, (herbalist, reflexology, acupuncture, supplements galore, OPKs, CBFM etc etc) all to no avail. Now, a month from turning 44 I am beginning to accept that it is most likely not going to happen and I have no doubt whatsoever that any possible chance of success in the period since the last mc has been hindered by my stress over the situation. On a lighter note, I too am (or more accurately WAS) a fairly accomplished marathon runner - I'm assuming that your name is a literal one? - and all through the dark times I have known that running would help me to re-engage with life, but I have been unable to do so. Since January I have been running again and I know this is helping me a lot, even though I feel desperately unfit now after over a year of not running, and far far away from being a marathon runner! In the past I ran 70-80 miles a week at this time of year and am now feeling pleased with myself that I may get over 35 this week but times change and I am realising that as I age, staying fit is much easier than getting fit!!! My goal is now to be marathon fit for 2013. Are you running at the moment? I hope so, I'm sure it will help to keep things in perspective while life is so painful and to give you some headspace to make sense of things

PS sorry to hijack your thread with such a long post Quisty x

 

[goddess25]

I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine being in that position to make that decision. I had 2 first trimester losses and that was heart breaking enough.

I hope that you manage to concieve soon, and hoping that your wait here is short.

 

[Quisty]

I am pleased to say that AF turned up yesterday. DH has been going to acupuncture and taking Chinese herbs and I have booked in for acupuncture appointment on CD12. I am really hoping things happen first cycle. Fingers crossed.

 

[marathongirl]

Hi Quisty, What a heartbreaking decision to have to make. I'm so so sorry for your loss and pray for some speedy good news to help heal the pain, though I know that nothing will take it away

Hi marathongirl, likewise, sorry for your loss too. My story is very similar to yours; I suffered my third mc in November 2010 (thank God for my beautiful, healthy, life affirming 3 year old son in amongst them) at 12+2, the day before our NT scan. I felt so relieved and lucky to be pregnant with his sibling at 42 and my initial caution slowly subsided as the first trimester drew to a close and particularly as we had seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks. However, the nightmare journey unfolded over 2 days and culminated in us holding our precious lost little baby in our hands in a room in A&E (I guess you know you're in a bad place when they put you in a room as opposed to a curtain!) on Sunday 21st November 2010. One of the hardest things for me to deal with has been that I had let my guard down having reached that 'supposed safe milestone' of 12 weeks. Since then I have been to hell and back and am only now starting to emerge from the depression that has overwhelmed me. My one piece of advice would be to relax and to live your life; I have put everything in my life on hold since the last mc and have been OCD in my attempts to conceive again, (herbalist, reflexology, acupuncture, supplements galore, OPKs, CBFM etc etc) all to no avail. Now, a month from turning 44 I am beginning to accept that it is most likely not going to happen and I have no doubt whatsoever that any possible chance of success in the period since the last mc has been hindered by my stress over the situation. On a lighter note, I too am (or more accurately WAS) a fairly accomplished marathon runner - I'm assuming that your name is a literal one? - and all through the dark times I have known that running would help me to re-engage with life, but I have been unable to do so. Since January I have been running again and I know this is helping me a lot, even though I feel desperately unfit now after over a year of not running, and far far away from being a marathon runner! In the past I ran 70-80 miles a week at this time of year and am now feeling pleased with myself that I may get over 35 this week but times change and I am realising that as I age, staying fit is much easier than getting fit!!! My goal is now to be marathon fit for 2013. Are you running at the moment? I hope so, I'm sure it will help to keep things in perspective while life is so painful and to give you some headspace to make sense of things

PS sorry to hijack your thread with such a long post Quisty x

Wow SpoomieI am so sorry for your losses as well I was the saddest I have ever been and have slowly worked my way through it. I still have hope that it will happen and I hold on to this to get me through the hard times.
On the running note it's funny you ask because I am the most unfit I have been in my whole adult life. I have been competing in running races since I was 14 and I am 42. My dh and I run together and even race marathons at the same pace. He had surgery on his knee right after my mc and since he wasnt running I decided to do alternative exercise like biking and swimming but it's not the same. We are going to start a walk run program and get back gradually. I thought stopping running would help me conceive but after 3 months of no running. And not conceiving I'm not convinced any more so back to what I love. I will tone it down and not go too crazy as I do think this can affect fertility thank you so much for sharing your story and I too recently decided not to get too stressed about conceiving. It will happen when it's the right time. good luck to you and keep me posted