I'm finding it so hard to accept the fact I probably won't have a second child

[kalou1972]

We've been trying for 3 years....albeit a lot of hiccups i between like car accidents ...series etc....and it's just not happening. We're on Clovis now...third round coming up....but I'm 42 and feel like I should really just be happy to have my little boy and stop TTC. I feel like something is missing but know I can't keep trying forever.

I look at my friends who only have one child....and some that have none ! And they seem happy !!...why can't I be 😢😢😢

 

[LilacFields]

It is very reasonable to feel this way. My husband and i have been trying for a year for our first. I feel put out every time AF comes. We are very light hearted about trying to conceive and it makes things easier. Just having fun with day to day life, and definitely not making a chore of BD. I wish you good luck, it may seem impossible now but I trust that if you are meant to have another child you will have one.

 

[kalou1972]

That's what I always thought xx

 

[bunyhuny]

I am so sorry hunny. I don't have any words to make it better, but I wish so much that I did. At least I can tell you that you are not alone in your pain and that if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm around.

DH and I have been trying 3.5 years for our first and the heartache of it not working is just too much to deal with sometimes. We are still young, but our perinatologist recently told us that we may need to start coming to terms with the fact that I may not be able to carry a child to term and to start looking into adoption or surrogacy as soon as we're ready to move forward. He doesn't think we should TTC for more than another year.

He does not understand that I do not want a surrogate or adoption! I know that my odds are getting so low at this point, but I cannot give up! I don't know if I ever could. Women have success with IVF well into their 40's and 50's. I guess deep down I cannot accept the idea that it won't work for me.

 

[mitchnorm]

Same boat here ..have a daughter who just turned 3 yesterday and didn't really want such a large age gap especially at my age. I am 41 ..42 in May. I have set a target to be pregnant by then or give up....but can I really let go of it. Fell pregnant first month with daughter so even more frustrating now ......Only been trying for 8 cycles spread over the last year. Tried most things but no proper intervention yet apart from my bloods

Fingers crossed for us all....it's happened once, hoping again soon x

 

[kalou1972]

Hiya chic !! So sorry I've only just read your post !! You must have been through a terrible time. My friend was similar...I think 4 rounds of ivf and she kept getting told there was nothing wrong with her. She ended up adopting and is obviously very happy now.

We looked at ivf...bit the chances of it working were around 12% so we decided to try clommid instead. I don't think we will try ivf...I'm not sure how long I can keep going.

Lots of live xx

 

[kalou1972]

Hi chic...sorry only just seen this !! It's crap isn't it. I've moved our goal posts so many times !! Xxx