I'm having a breakdown. Am i bad?

[mylittlebubs]

I know i;m first time mummy but i feel so right of what i'm doing and everyone says i'm doing a great job

but mil keeps saying things like;
he sleep at a bad time
he's too big for cuddle
we pick him up too much
he doesn't have a solid nap, so i should give him dummy (but i decided not to use it for many reasons... and she promised not to talk about it again, but she didn';t keep the promise and it pissed me off)she says i keep him awake not giving him dummy

everything i do seems to get criticized and it's getting me atm
she;s here for a month and I can't put up with her criticism
i know she loves my baby but she wouldn't let me do anything without her getting involved

Do you think i'm bad not taking her advice? Am i keeping him awake ? I don't like to take many advice from her because i feel like i'm being forced to do it.
i prefer to ask for advice when i need but she wouldn't stop if i don't do it.

i just want to take the advice i feel comfortable to do. is this bad?

I feel like i'm having a breakdown
OH is away to China for a week and i feel terrible

 

[Laura1984]

You're Lincolns Mummy and Lincolns Mummy knows best!
Don't get upset sweetheart, you know your baby better than anyone and if you dont want to give him an dummy then dont.
some babies dont need as much sleep as others. Ruby sleeps at night and in the morning and that is it then untill the night unless we go out in the car or the pram and she will fall asleep then and even then its only 20 mins 1/2 an hour shes only 3 months (today) so by the time she is 5 months I doubt she will have a solid nap at all.
Take on board the advice you want to do and brush of the advice you dont want. you dont have to explin yourself to anyone Lincoln is your baby

xxxxx

 

[Barneyboo]

God that would do my head in! Could you not say in a nice tone (easier said than done) I need to learn my own way and try things out for myself rather than take advice that may or may not be right for my child! And I am only advising that because she is staying with you its easier to ignore if they are not with you 24/7! I am sure you are doing a fab job

 

[LeannieB]

Hi Ya. Sounds like she pokes her nose in far too much. He is your Baby and u know whats best for him. I just try and ignore people when they make comments etc. It is hard sometimes though and frustrating. My mum and Mil always poking their noses in and they always think they are right. Make sure u put hat on him and gloves etc etc when we go out. I swear they think im stupid!! If he ever goes to my partners mums house for the day she will make a point of doing something like cutting his nails or saying somethin annoying. I struggle sometimes with getting him to go down for nap in the day and she always says well he doesnt do that for me he goes straight to sleep!!
Just Ignore her and tell her to stop interfering!! He is Gorgeous!!!!

 

[Sarah88]

Tell her to buzz off! He's your bub and you know best!

 

[sabby52]

Awww hun that must be awful, dont mean to be nasty but your MIL is mean. You are a great mum, you are his mum and you know best no one else not even your mother-in-law. Everyone thinks they know better even when I had Dec people tried to tell me what to do, for god sakes I have an 11 year old and he turned out fine.
Dont worry hun you are doing just great, maybe you should have a quiet talk with your MIL and let her know how you feel and ask her nicely to back of a bit.
Sorry hun thats all the advice I have, hope you can sort something xx

 

[doctordeesmrs]

Tell her your his mum not her and you will do whats best for you and your son.

 

[ryder]

Your his mum and you know best... others will always offer advice and we can take it or not.

Not sure why you wont use a dummy, and you dont need to defend or explain... but I will just point out (since your having trouble with him sleeping) the dummies can be of use... especially if your bf, people may not like to admit it but babies CAN smell your milk, and it is one of the reasons why thy may wake more.... dummies help babies with the comfort sucking, there is nothing bad about the... im not sure why people get so against them.

Sometimes earlier or later bed times can help.

 

[nikky0907]

You're his mama, he'd be lost without you, not your MIL.
You definitely know what you're doing, and you're doing a great job so buzz off MIL!

 

[Doodles]

I agree with all the others, you're doing a fab job!
Your baby is precious, so why not pick him up all the time?
If he doesnt have a solid nap its hardly the end of the world as long as he gets enough sleep, you can see from his pic's he's thriving.
If you dont want your baby to have a dummy, dont give him one. I hate seeing toddlers walking around with dummies, but we have used them to pacify Rhys when he's overtired as it helps him to sleep sometimes, but he just spits it out when he actually falls asleep.
It sounds like your MIL is more hard work than Lincoln

 

[Samantha675]

but mil keeps saying things like;
he sleep at a bad time
he's too big for cuddle
we pick him up too much
he doesn't have a solid nap, so i should give him dummy (but i decided not to use it for many reasons... and she promised not to talk about it again, but she didn';t keep the promise and it pissed me off)she says i keep him awake not giving him dummy

She really needs to back off love. I am all for advice, but really when it is given and given and you aren't following it, then it is just rude and pushy.

He sleeps at a bad time? WTF? at least he is sleeping, which for me these days it fine as long as he is getting some sleep.

Too big to cuddle? Major WTF? My son could be 35 years old, 6 foot 5 inches and 250 lbs and I will still cuddle him because he is MY baby. There is no such thing as too big to cuddle. Babies thrive on touch, they need it to develop, it has nothing to do with being clingy or spoiled if a child does not get physical contact they will withdrawn and not develop mentally.

Pick him up too much? See above. I am an attachment parenter, I believe in lots of touch and holding. Just google attachment parenting if you are not familiar with it.

keeping him awake because he doesn't have a dummy, really? If he is anything like my son, then no dummy would make him sleep. Some babies are not great sleepers, I sure have one. No matter what I try or what I do, he just doesn't seem to be sleeping well these days, and there are loads of reason why.

It is your choice and your child. You need to have your DH talk to her, he needs to sit her down and have a very real talk.