I will probably be back to normal tomorrow but today I am feeling so panicky about everything, and very overwhelmed. I am literally worrying about everything I possibly could worry about.
I am 34+5 with twins and have a 2 year old son. I've just finished up on mat leave although the chances of me returning to work are minimal with the costs of childcare and fact OH and I have the same hours. I am due to have an elective c-section 2 weeks this Thursday which I am excited but very nervous about! Although I've had to stop work anyway due to being so heavily pregnant, I don't think the extra time on my hands to think is helping lol!
Today, I am worrying about how we are going to cope both emotionally and financially. Money is very tight, we live in a private let 2 bedroom flat which is top floor (2 floors up with no lift) so we will need to eventually move, I am paying off a small bank loan and my bank balance isn't too healthy at the moment as I usually work part time as a massage therapist and stopped doing this when I was in the first trimester as was nervous after having had miscarriages in the past so obviously my income took a bit of a hit. Everything is so up in the air at the moment with finances that as well as worrying about how we are going to live, there is also how we are going to fund having two more mouths to feed. I saw someone from citizens advice last week who said we would be entitled to more tax credits, and as we rent potentially housing benefit, etc, and my OH is working full time so it probably will be ok but it's still hard not to worry.
I am also concerned about how I am going to cope with 2 babies in the house and a 2 year old. As much as I am excited and looking forward to them arriving, I am worrying about sleep, how I am going to cope when OH is at work, and the recovery from the c-section. I had a c-section with my son and remember the first few days being very difficult. OH and I are both only children with a very varied and scattered circle of friends, and his mum lives over 100 miles away and my parents while they do help a lot, are in their late 70s as they had me later on in life so I can't expect them to be running around doing too much.
And of course, I am worrying that everything will go ok and that the babies will arrive safely, and be ok. I've had 4 early mcs and my mum had a full term stillbirth before she had me so this makes me very nervous about pregnancy in general. My son also has hypermobility and isn't walking or talking yet (though they say he will get there) so I am keeping everything crossed the twins will not be affected by these delays he has. They didn't manage to get the measurements at my 12 week scan to test for downs syndrome as one of the twins were being too wriggly, so thats on my mind too. I wish I could just switch off and stop worrying!
I know I am just overthinking and overanalysing but it just all feels overwhelming at the moment. I think it is just a little hormonal wobble I am having today, should be better tomorrow - hopefully!
I am 34+5 with twins and have a 2 year old son. I've just finished up on mat leave although the chances of me returning to work are minimal with the costs of childcare and fact OH and I have the same hours. I am due to have an elective c-section 2 weeks this Thursday which I am excited but very nervous about! Although I've had to stop work anyway due to being so heavily pregnant, I don't think the extra time on my hands to think is helping lol!
Today, I am worrying about how we are going to cope both emotionally and financially. Money is very tight, we live in a private let 2 bedroom flat which is top floor (2 floors up with no lift) so we will need to eventually move, I am paying off a small bank loan and my bank balance isn't too healthy at the moment as I usually work part time as a massage therapist and stopped doing this when I was in the first trimester as was nervous after having had miscarriages in the past so obviously my income took a bit of a hit. Everything is so up in the air at the moment with finances that as well as worrying about how we are going to live, there is also how we are going to fund having two more mouths to feed. I saw someone from citizens advice last week who said we would be entitled to more tax credits, and as we rent potentially housing benefit, etc, and my OH is working full time so it probably will be ok but it's still hard not to worry.
I am also concerned about how I am going to cope with 2 babies in the house and a 2 year old. As much as I am excited and looking forward to them arriving, I am worrying about sleep, how I am going to cope when OH is at work, and the recovery from the c-section. I had a c-section with my son and remember the first few days being very difficult. OH and I are both only children with a very varied and scattered circle of friends, and his mum lives over 100 miles away and my parents while they do help a lot, are in their late 70s as they had me later on in life so I can't expect them to be running around doing too much.
And of course, I am worrying that everything will go ok and that the babies will arrive safely, and be ok. I've had 4 early mcs and my mum had a full term stillbirth before she had me so this makes me very nervous about pregnancy in general. My son also has hypermobility and isn't walking or talking yet (though they say he will get there) so I am keeping everything crossed the twins will not be affected by these delays he has. They didn't manage to get the measurements at my 12 week scan to test for downs syndrome as one of the twins were being too wriggly, so thats on my mind too. I wish I could just switch off and stop worrying!
I know I am just overthinking and overanalysing but it just all feels overwhelming at the moment. I think it is just a little hormonal wobble I am having today, should be better tomorrow - hopefully!
