We went to hear our baby's heartbeat again yesterday only to hear that the baby had no heartbeat and was only 6 weeks in size. I've never had so many emotions at once in my life. After always being told I couldn't get pregnant somehow we conceived naturally. I'm sure most of you can relate that after wanting something so bad, finally receiving a miracle and then having it taken just doesn't seem right. Our little baby's heart got to beat for a few days before it stopped. Ive been carying it around inside me for 2 1/2 weeks now without knowing and without my body knowing. I've been on progesterone- which I quit taking yesterday evening to try and start the miscarriage process. I'm terrified of what to expect since I've heard all kinds of things. I didn't ask any questions yesterday because my head was in a fog. My OH and I stayed up talking and both in tears for much of the night. Finally I fell asleep from exhaustion only to wake up in sweat from a horrible, morbid, and very real nightmare. When I woke up it took a second to realize it wasn't just a normal pregnancy dream. It all hit me at once. The confusion, the sadness and deep depression, the worthless feeling that somehow I failed. I woke to the feelings both physical and emotional only to realize our angel was in heaven. I'll be honest, I almost feel nuts. I pray that this gets easier and that the feeling of emptiness goes away. I'm not sure what to expect once I start bleeding. I guess besides just needing to talk, I want to know that it's ok to feel this way and Im not crazy. I also want to know if it gets easier, what to expect when the miscariage begins, and if it's possible to find peace of mind. Thank you for reading and I apologize for the length.