I'm so mad no one told me the details...rant

[feedindy]

I am mad because now 7 months later my Dh mentioned to me that my baby came out back to back. None of the doctors or nurses told me this during delivery either.

I felt completely traumatized by my delivery for months. I had an epidural but the pain was still unbearable and I remember screaming for help. I pushed for 3 hours and then I had a vaccuum delivery and a 3rd degree tear. I felt like a complete failure because I couldn't do it on my own. I also had PTSD and would be up at night with flashbacks. It took months to get over my birth experience. Then DH and I were talking about it today and it came up that my baby came out back to back. I was so mad because I felt like if I had know that the reason it was a difficult delivery was because she was posterior maybe I would have had more closure and not felt so traumatized for the long term. ugh why did no one tell me?

rant over

 

[eve123]

oh no, i had a very similar experience to you hun, i only gave birth 3 weeks so its very raw still! Had a failed vacuum then a forceps delivery, my daughters face was facing up towards the ceiling (sorry forget the medical term) which resulted in a 3rd degree tear along with an episitomy.

Did your DH not tell you as to not to upset you more? The medical staff on the other hand should have kept you updated with everything either during the delivery or after! Have you been to speak to anyone about this?

 

[ArcaneSpark]

Can you speak to your dr and read the notes? This might give you the answers you need or a basis to talk through it?

 

[feedindy]

Well I am feeling fine these days. Thanks for your replies and concern! I magaged to get through it completely, but I felt like if I had known I would have managed better, IYKWIM.

I asked my DH why he didn't tell me, and he said he thought that was how it was supposed to be with the baby coming out face up. Men are clueless.

I remember him saying at one point during the delivery "I can see her peeking at me" right as her eyes appeared. I must have been in so much pain that it didn't register what he was saying.

 

[Anabella]

I also found out that my baby was born back to back from my husband. I wound up asking him because all of my contractions were felt in my back. I found it strange that neither my nurse nor doctor told me the baby was posterior.

 

[hellohefalump]

*hugs* my baby was back to back too. I've had two babies, my first was straightforward delivery. And I can tell you the back to back labour was much worse.

My baby came out unconscious and not breathing and he had to be resucitated. I still don't know the exact details of what happened...

 

[mummykcc]

Hey, my 2nd son was back to back-and the pain was the worst ever. My first birth was no where near as painfull. So i really feel for you. xx

 

[xcharx]

Noone told me either.. it was only when I was discussing my labour with my friend (she's a MW) that she told me!! x

 

[george83]

i had nothing like what you ladies have all been through but i was talking to my sisters who were my birth partners and i only found out through them that my baby was in distress and the midwives had called for specialist doctors to come in. if they hadn't of said anything i would never have known. I do wonder if the midwives think they're being helpful by not saying too much or if they genuinely don't realise.

 

[xCharlyx]

I can completely understand how you feel! I was in labour for 4 days and it resulted in a forceps delivery, I almost died after I had delivered my son & ended up going into shock, I also had three blood transfusions. I left the hospital not knowing why this happened even after asking questions, it took for me to sit down with a midwife a week later at home & she explained it all to me, I felt very upset & I am still traumatized by the whole thing. I have been told that i will probably have the same problem next time but will be under consultant care - that doesn't re-assure me in the slightest!