I'm so so angry.* UPDATE *

[Mummy1995]

Got a call from CSA when we were on holiday and I emailed them saying I wa abroad so couldn't pick up. I then got another call the day I got home but I was shattered and jet lagged so I missed it but they left a message saying it was urgent.

Anyway I rang them back and guess what.. Of course he's gone and denied paternity AGAIN!! So after all that shit of 'oh I still feel the same way I did for you and I believe that she's mine and she means so much to me' he pulls this one. Yeah she means THAT much to you that you're denying she's your daughter to try and dodge paying towards her upbringing. Money that SHE is entitled to. I mean how fucking dare he?! I don't even care that he's making out that I'm a cheat I'm angry for Isabella because he 100% knows he's her dad he's just making up this shit to try and get out of his responsibilities. He's just an evil, heartless monster.

 

[Ceejay123]

.

 

[Dezireey]

My ex did this first time round. Made my blood boil! They have the nerve to do all that they have done to us and leave us to have a child and bring them up alone and then they rub salt into the wounds by implying we slept about or that the reason they left is that they believe the child isn't theirs etc etc.

Just proves what a tool he is. Did you tell him it will cost him £250 to get a test done? CSA pay for it and then if it comes back negative, the mother foots the bill for wasting everyone's time and ( more often than not) if it comes back positive, the father has to pay for it. That's how my ex backed off saying he wasn't the father, once I told him he would have to pay, he shut up. Because these idiots know these kids are theirs, they are just trying to stall CSA. My ex just went quiet last time CSA got in touch, he obviously realised he didn't want to throw away £250.

 

[Mummy1995]

I know it's just disgusting. How can they deny their own children?!

Is it seriously £250?! Wow I thought it was only £100. More fool him then if he goes through with it! What happens if they have no income though? As I have no idea if he's working, claiming or just scrounging off his parents! Do they still have to pay for it then?

Ah well it's not really my problem as CSA gets backdated anyway! They said they were going to contact him. I have no contact with him now so I've not said about charges but they'll tell him about that! (Although who knows if he's still stalking me on here!). He'd be stupid to go through with it to be honest, there is no doubt in my mind he is her dad, in fact it would be impossible for him not to be!! And I don't understand why these idiots think we would go through all this crap with them if they weren't the dad? I know I've told fob that if there was even a chance he wasn't the dad I'd find out (and hope he wasn't!). Not just because of all his shit but because I for one would want to be able to tell Isabella the truth! X

 

[Dezireey]

Oh, if the DNA test shows he is the father, they will send the bailiffs in to get the money if they have to. In fact, CSA hand over a lot of 'difficult' cases to what they call 'enforcers', then the shit really hits the fan for the useless FOB's. Any man that keeps avoiding, stalling or just generally giving the CSA a hard time, cannot escape.

For all the wonderful, responsible fathers out there who don't even have to go through CSA (or if they do, quickly work with them to arrange support) there are a million other deadbeats who think they can just hide from the system. I am highly suspicious of all the circumstances surrounding my ex's other child (that I never knew about, so what was that all about?) I think his ex may have given up on him (he has no fixed address, just a PO box) me contacting CSA probably meant that he was having to now fork out money for two kids and that's why he went to great lengths to stop me contacting them and even told me his child was dead. I remember him going on and on after I gave birth about moving to the USA and that was obviously an idea he had to avoid child support.

Enforcers go deeper than CSA. They will take them to court, take driving licenses off them, threaten prison sentences if there is non payment etc. They mean business. Unfortunately for the Mothers, this means a lot of time goes by without payment.

Sometimes I wish it would go this far with my FOB, to teach him a lesson on how not to treat people.

Sorry for the long post on your thread hun, having a bad week. I get days when I am so angry with what this man has done to my boys future (and probably) another child's he had in his past. He has the gall now to let two other kids call him Dad and shack up with another woman. I hate the *******!

 

[Dream.dream]

I don't get how men can do this . It's stupid to deny a child you know is yours.

They really Arnt men they are silly little boys who don't want to own up to their responsibilities

 

[Dezireey]

Very true. gosh I was mad yesterday. only because some idiot of an old friend asked me 'why did you get involved with someone like that in the first place and ' didn't you realise what he was like?'

It is so funny. If I walked into a bar and some bloke had the words 'warning....abandons his own children when pregnancy is announced' does she seriously think I would date him? Unfortunately, looking back, the only warning signs really was his childishness over certain things and that not everyone liked him. How many men are like that and they are good Dads?

Were there any warning signs (looking back now) for you dream and mummy1995? Maybe they all have something in common lol!

 

[Mummy1995]

Possessive, jealous, controlling and insecure! Among other things! I shall reply to your other comment when I've finally had some sleep x

 

[Yo_Yo]

Honey,
I've been in your shoes.
I was so angry...4 years together, 100% faithful and he went to the lowest of the low saying she wasn't his to avoid paying a penny. Then he refused a DNA test.

Such a prize w****r

It will bite him on the bum like it did my ex-they got a deduction of earnings order and he had a huge arrears to pay.

Chin up lovely, your so much better off without a man...I mean boy like this.

 

[Dream.dream]

Very true. gosh I was mad yesterday. only because some idiot of an old friend asked me 'why did you get involved with someone like that in the first place and ' didn't you realise what he was like?'

It is so funny. If I walked into a bar and some bloke had the words 'warning....abandons his own children when pregnancy is announced' does she seriously think I would date him? Unfortunately, looking back, the only warning signs really was his childishness over certain things and that not everyone liked him. How many men are like that and they are good Dads?

Were there any warning signs (looking back now) for you dream and mummy1995? Maybe they all have something in common lol!

For me no warning signs except he lied to me a couple times about stupid little things . Once I moved in with him he turned abusive and controlling and it got out of control when I got pregnant .

A lot of the issues I have with him are because he takes out the fact that he's mad at me for leaving an not giving him the family he wanted. He wanted me to be a basically a wife from the 50s and it wasn't gunna happen. So he thinks he's hurting me by not being a good dad

 

[sue_88]

My little girls FOB has denied paternity. I'm happily accepting the DNA as more he'll have to pay for, fool. I haven't been with anyone but him in years.

 

[Mummy1995]

Got a letter from CSA this morning. No surprise to me. Fob has refused to have a DNA test!! So he has now been declared her father

So happy, now hopefully my baby can at least get something from her sperm donor! Whatever I get shall go into her bank account for when she's older x

 

[babycrazy1706]

Fab news!!! What a c*nt though!!!

 

[teal]

Brilliant news!

 

[Mummy1995]

It would be but because mummy is still relieving child benefit for her little darling it means fob doesn't have to pay for Isabella. It's outrageous they didn't even check to see if he was working. Just saw that and that was that. My mum can't claim cb for me so his mum shouldn't be able to! I'm infuriated for Isabella as all I was gonna do was put it into her bank account!

 

[teal]

It's absolutely disgusting that they get off with not paying do they just keep the claim open until he is working or until his mum stops claiming cb? xx

 

[Ceejay123]

How old is he? Ugh.... How long will she be able to claim for... What a dick. X

 

[Mummy1995]

They've shut the claim so I now have to go through the whole process again when his child benefit stops! It's taken 4 months to get to here!! He's 19 hun, so last year she can claim xx

 

[rebeccalouise]

stay calm. I was in this same situation with Amelia's dad, I know how hard it is, being accused like that does make you so angry. fact is, he'll have to do a paternity test now and when that comes back as showing your daughter is his, he'll have no escape.

edit: just read your update, happy for you hun! x

 

[Proserpina]

Dumb Men: I am NOT the father of that baby! No siree! My girlfriend was a total slut, no way is that kid mine!

CSA: So, would you be willing to take a paternity test? If you're so sure you are not the father, this will save you from 18+ years of child support payments. But if it turns out you are the father, you'll have to pay for the test.

Dumb Men: No, no I will not! But this doesn't mean I'm not sure I'm not the father, I'm sure of that.

CSA: Makes perfect sense.