I'm terrified

[pollydolly]

I have a 5 month old baby. He's my world

I also have postnatal depression quite severely, I'm absolutely terrified they're going to take him away. Is this irrational?
I have suicidal thoughts when alone. Not when I'm with LO, literally only when I'm in the car by myself. I'm scared to tell anyone incase they think I'd hurt my boy when I genuinely would never do anything to hurt him.

I'm scared

 

[Melly Belly]

I have a 5 month old baby. He's my world

I also have postnatal depression quite severely, I'm absolutely terrified they're going to take him away. Is this irrational?
I have suicidal thoughts when alone. Not when I'm with LO, literally only when I'm in the car by myself. I'm scared to tell anyone incase they think I'd hurt my boy when I genuinely would never do anything to hurt him.

I'm scared

I definitely think you should talk to someone, I had anxiety really badly after my baby was born and was worried all the time, constantly crying, and feeling like a failure...if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, definitely talk to your ob, or your regular dr so that they can treat you with medication or refer you to someone you can talk to, like a counselor or a psychologist/psychiatrist..i can only offer you that little piece of advice, and lots of hugs!

 

[pollydolly]

I'm so scared they'll think I'm a danger to Leo though?xx

 

[Krissykat1006]

If you don't get help you could potentially end up hurting him or yourself unintentionally. With my first I had postnatal anxiety/depression pretty bad and sometimes I would just black out and not remember what I had done. The fact that I could just mentally check out like that was a wake up call and I went to see my Dr.

I know it seems scary to talk to someone, but if you keep going untreated you may feel worse. I wish you so much luck with this, anxiety and depression is not fun at all. I wouldn't wish feeling like that on anyone.

 

[Maxy1]

They will only think you are a danger to your child if you say you are. I don't know where you are, but in my country we have excellent support for PND and I don't know anyone who had their child taken off them.

Its depression and totally treatable so there is no reason to take him off you. You need to discuss it with a trusted health professional and start treatment before it gets any worse.

 

[pollydolly]

Thanks ladies

I'm already on anti depressants, I tell my doctor most things just not this because I like I say I feel like they'll think I'm a bad mum. I'm not xx

 

[Teri7489]

They won't think you are a bad mum or that you would hurt him. They understand PND and what it causes. I've had some really awful thoughts, times I really thought about just ending it all for me and my LO. I went to my GP and sobbed my heart out on the floor, I was so disgusted with myself for what I had thought about. But I got help and you can too. Your not going to have your LO taken away, but if you don't get help you may end up hurting yourself or him without meaning it. PND is serious and often needs medication to treat it. You're a good mummy, just look after you too! Xxx

 

[Melly Belly]

They won't think you are a bad mum or that you would hurt him. They understand PND and what it causes. I've had some really awful thoughts, times I really thought about just ending it all for me and my LO. I went to my GP and sobbed my heart out on the floor, I was so disgusted with myself for what I had thought about. But I got help and you can too. Your not going to have your LO taken away, but if you don't get help you may end up hurting yourself or him without meaning it. PND is serious and often needs medication to treat it. You're a good mummy, just look after you too! Xxx

This...exactly getting help shows that you know there is a problem and you are wanting to take care of it....lots of people suffer from PND and PNA (Post Natal Anxiety...i read about this in an issue of American Baby, and its apparently not as well known, but is more common)...this is pretty much what i did, i broke down in tears talking to my OB, and she hugged me and told me it would get better, and it has, definitely, i take one Lexapro in the morning with my narcolepsy meds and it evens me out, if i miss it, im a weepy emotional mess!

 

[pollydolly]

Thank you

My anxiety is getting so much worse, honestly I feel like I can't leave my flat xx