In desperate need of advice regarding stair gates

[nicki01]

My 4 yr old daughter is autistic and has no sense of danger. We have stair gates on the lounge, kitchen, stairs and her room so I can keep her safe and where I need her to be so I can see her. However she has recently been able to open them which means I spend all day running all over my house and trying to keep her and my 1yr old from harms way! The one she never mastered was her room! But as of this morning she has cracked it! I'm terrified of going to sleep in case she gets out and hurts herself and will most likely let my 1 yr old out of her room!!
She will play with anything she can get her hands on water, heat etc she can manage stairs if she is focuses but my 1 yr old can't!
We live in rented house so locks etc aren't an option as we are in no way allowed to drill into the doors and frames!
Someone must have been through similar? I'm at a loss of what I can do.

I'm tired of running round the house all day, neither of them sleep through the night so I know she will be out of her room at 2am as she usually wakes from 2am-5am!

 

[alibaba24]

Could you put a make shift lock round the gate so even when she opens it the gate can't actually open ? X

 

[MummyMana]

Was gonna suggest the same, get one of those things used to lock a bike to a railing?

My daughter can't open the gate yet, she can however ram herself against it until it comes off the wall :/

 

[mummy2o]

What I had to do for my son was to get another stair gate on top of the previous one, or you could possible try dog gates as some go higher than the normal baby gate. He was a climber though so could climb over them before he could walk at 18 months :S

 

[smileyfaces]

I was gonna suggest some sort of bike lock type thing? Which gates do you have?

 

[nicki01]

We have 3 different types of lindam gate. She has a dog gate on her room as she climbs over the standard ones. I used a belt last night and she spent the entire night screaming 'mummy, let me out now' all over the house!
I didn't think about a bike lock, will have a good and try and find one that will work.

Very tired today and am dreading tonight where I have to keep her in there again, I know it will be a repeat of last night! I tried sleeping in there with her but she still shouts at me!

 

[sequeena]

Hugs xxxx

 

[nicki01]

Well last night was fun, 2-4 she was up shouting and then up at 6:30 but my partner got up and i slept in till 9.
I'm so worn out now..... I've got some sort of a bug! I can't stand or sit up without feeling like I'm going to be sick and pass out, the only time I'm ok if I'm laid on my back, turn to my side and I feel sick as anything again! I can deal with alot of things but this lack of sleep is really taking its toll now! I'm getting an hour maybe 2 if I'm lucky a night.

Before she could open the gate, she still woke up the same hours but she just played in her room and called me when she got bored or wanted me but since she knows she can open that gate and I'm stopping her she screams and shouts for hours so I have my 1 yr old hysterically crying too! I don't know how to get out the other side of this, its even harder when I feel so ill!

 

[alibaba24]

sorry your having such a difficult time. wish i had some better advice Im also sleep deprived my 1 year old gets up 3-4 times per night. shes been a terrible sleeper and has only slept through a handful of times. heres hoping our kiddos develop better sleep habbits. fortunately my 5 year old is a fab sleeper but i often worry about the baby waking her x

 

[Peanut78]

No advice on locks, but massive hugs - sounds really tough

I think from what you said you have the gates placed in places that also don't include doors, so it may not be helpful... But when my LO was younger I couldn't get the stair gate to fit across his bedroom door so resorted to putting the actual gate up against his door so it would fall to the ground making a loud noise which would alert me if he was leaving his bedroom.

Hope you find a solution

 

[smileyfaces]

 

[mummy2o]

Sounds like you have to retrain her to go back to sleep. My son had a period when he was 2 he'd get up in the middle of the night and watch TV, play with his toys etc (I'm a heavy sleeper) so use to catch him. In the end I trained him to come into bed with me and just cuddled him and tell him shh its night time, time to sleep. After a very long couple of months it worked and he would climb straight into bed with me. I was a single parent at the time. So is it possible to do something like this in her bed instead?

 

[nicki01]

I did try what you have said for 2 weeks, getting in to her bed when she gets up and trying to sleep with her, she spent 3 hours each night talking to me and poking me in the face, playing with my hair etc, after 2 weeks I have up. Maybe worth giving it another shot I guess as that was about 5 months ago now.
Alot of people I've spoken with say its very common for autistic children to have night wakings so it may be something I can't get her out of which I will just deal with, its the fact she screams and shouts all night as she thinks she should be able to get out now she can open the gate.

 

[alibaba24]

I remember when my daughter was 3 she got up once and stayed up til 5am I was totally horrified at how she could wake up at like 2am and stay up playing for hours even with me lying in her bed i was SO tired and exasperated so cant even imagine how you are feeling facing this every night. I know a few people who have kids who have sleep issues and have tried the sleep clinic with little success. I would stick to not letting her out her room and hopefully she will realise that no amount of shouting will let her out into her room. x