In need of BIG advice please!

[Babylamb]

Hi ladies!! I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place here and am hoping to get some advice...
The father of my baby (due in November!) and I split up pretty much as soon as we found out I was pregnant. Long story short, he freaked out and left me for his 52 year old billionaire ex-girlfriend. Haha.. You can't make this stuff up.
I waited around for him to come to his senses for 6 months, and after too much wishy-washy BS I left California to spend time with my family on the east coast.. Now that I'm gone, he has decided he wants to end it with his rich old girlfriend and get an apartment with me in CA. (Which is appealing because it'd be much less expensive than me living alone, but he is so clueless...)
My fear is if I go out there and everything goes downhill, I'll be 3000 miles away from my family, unable to leave the state. If I stay on the east coast, my son will not have a relationship with his father (he's too stubborn/selfish to try and give it a go out here)...
As single parents, what do you think is the best decision?
Thank you!! xox

 

[whatwillbe]

Hi hun, i would be verry wary of him, he left you while you are pregnant with his baby, imagine if you move that far again and he does the same thing ? He sounds like he wants the best of both worlds! You have to put you and baby 1st now, if he is that serious about you getting back together do it on your terms, like tell him you want him to move to you, not the other way round, that way if it doesnt work you still have your support network there, he sounds really selfish, like my fob, and i hope you can work it out but on your terms, not his, good luck x

 

[Babylamb]

Thank you I like your thinking!

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

Wait... So he's asking a very pregnant woman pack her shit and move to him? Really?

I'd say it's either he moves to you or no deal... You don't need a coward like him to teach your son how to be a man.

 

[Aiden187]

girl i think i your heart you know whats best for you and your baby,he left you when you needed him the most,and comes back cuzz he changed his mind,life dont work that way,if your smart you wont go back with him and you will try and make a better liefe for you and your baby,if he left you pregnant imagine witha child so far away and have no one there to turn to,im sorry if im blunt but he dont deserve you or his child...

 

[teal]

I personally wouldn't but I'd be thinking if he could walk out on me when I'm pregnant what's to stop him doing it again? You also said that he wouldn't bother to see his child if you stay where you are. If he can't make any effort to see his child and he can so easily abandon you then he doesn't deserve either of you.

 

[ZombieQueen]

My husband ditched me for another woman during my pregnancy.. So after struggling for months to try make things work I finally gave up and moved to Hawaii.. so a great distance from him in Oregon.. I felt badly leaving because my daughter would not have a relationship with her father, but I did offer for him to come with us.. My offer stood for months after I was here.. He's since told me I should move back to Oregon, that he's gonna get a better job and will support me and LO as I go to school, etc.. But he's left me twice now, almost left me at the alter, has cheated on me twice, lied to me countless times.. I'm pathetic and would still take him back, BUT I have put my foot down and have told him that if HE wants to make things work, then HE can move HERE. But I am not getting stuck in oregon with no family or friends when he's the one who fucked up. He can move out here and truly prove to me that he's serious, it's so easy for him to bail on me AGAIN if I move out there, but here he's the one with no friends or family, he knows if he moves here he has to really make an effort because it'll be a pain in HIS ass to cheat, lie or abandon me again.. Needless to say he still hasn't even come to visit his daughter yet.. He's really showing how serious he is about his "family"

Anyways, long story short lol, I'd highly recommend staying on the East Coast, tell him HE can move there and get a place with you. If he really wants to be with you and really wants to make things work, HE can make the effort. You weren't the one who abandoned him. If he has excuses for not moving, then those are clearly priorities that come before you and his child so he's obviously not serious about making things work.

Thats just my opinion..

 

[Rhio92]

I'd stay away. If he really wanted the relationship to work, he'd let things start slowly again, like he move to you, but you not move in together, then gradually over time, if things are okay, move in together and *maybe* move away.

 

[londonbump2]

I would probably move back, not because he deserves it, but because I would love Euan to have his dad around.

It would be a much better idea if you could convince him to move over to you, even for a short while while you get 'back on track' then move back to CA.