In need of some honest advice...

[makeupgirl]

Hi girlys! After a lot of searching, I found this would be the perfect place to share my story and get some honest feedback. Because I have no idea what to do!

I'm 7 weeks pregnant (a week earlier than my ticker!). My FOB and I are both 20 and both very stubborn in our own ways. We were together for 2 years before he became very untrustworthy and played me lots of times. So for the past 7 months we've been broken up. About two months ago, we were talking about getting back together and that's when I fell pregnant. At first, he was very angry and very immature. He wanted me to get rid of it and to never speak to me again. Then a few weeks went by and he told me that he would love to keep it.

Ever since we found out, he's been back and fourth and very bi-polar. He'll go from being the sweetest thing to immediately telling me that he is done and that I'm alone. He ignores my phone calls, text messages, he's rude to me, he doesn't make me or his unborn baby a priority at all. There have been several times, like yesterday for instance, where I've truly needed him and where is he? Out screwing around with his little high school friends. Last night, I got to the point where I was so fed up and broken that I texted him and told him I was done. Today, it got physical when I went to his house to try and work things out. (You can read the whole situation on the last page of my pregnancy journal! It'd make this post a book if I wrote it!) It breaks my heart to say it, and I admire you ladies so much for your strength and determination, but I can't raise a baby or support it on my own. My mom is very unsupportive, my dad lives 3 hours away.. I have no real family in the area and his family just irks me. The unthinkable thought came into my mind last night and I told him about it.. That it would be the only reason because he is choosing to leave us and I can't do this on my own. All he said to me was, "Have a nice life and killing it. Don't ever speak to me again if you do." or something or other. He doesn't try. He doesn't fight for me like he used to. It's like I don't exisit to him. I want this baby so much, but I'm not strong enough to do this on my own...

So sorry for the book! I just don't know what to do anymore... I've ignored him, I've begged him, I've given him the silent treatment.. My phone is currently turned off because I just can't handle being ignored anymore.

Edit - I don't want to stop talking to him... I love him so much. But I'm just at my wits end. This is getting absolutley ridiculous!

 

[LTEx]

he sounds like a complete idiot if you ask me hun & doesnt even deserve to be given another chance. But with reguards to the baby, what makes you think you wont cope on your own? I know its daunting at first but every motheer feels that way, especially a young mother who feels like they're alonem you'll be surprised how naturally it comes to you when youurr LO is here

 

[makeupgirl]

he sounds like a complete idiot if you ask me hun & doesnt even deserve to be given another chance. But with reguards to the baby, what makes you think you wont cope on your own? I know its daunting at first but every motheer feels that way, especially a young mother who feels like they're alonem you'll be surprised how naturally it comes to you when youurr LO is here

I just don't have any financial stability. Even on my own now, I don't even have money to put gas in my car.. My parents have said multiple times that they will not help out financially. My mom doesn't even want me to have it.. I make minimum wage at the job I'm currently at and I don't even work more than one shift a week. I'll be in cosmetology school over the next 6 months so I know that I'll have that to fall on. But in regards to finding an apartment/home to live in when little one is here, I can't afford it.. He's like my financial backbone. He makes lots of money. But now, he won't even talk to me and basically said he's not sticking around. So I'm completely alone.

 

[BadassMom]

There's lots of help out there for single mothers. WIC, food stamps, cash assistance, and don't forget if he makes lots of money you'll get some pretty decent child support. Your not very far along so you have plenty of time to work all this out. Don't try to solve all your problems at once, or you'll get overwelmed. it will be a lot better emotionally without him. It may not seem like that now because you feel depressed and alone (believe me I'm in the same situation right now) but in the long run you'll be much more stable and stress free without him. The most important thing is to be strong and believe in yourself that your a strong woman and you can do this!

 

[Dezireey]

In the long run, you should make a decision that's best for you. I always think that if you are the type of person who can move on with your life after an abortion, then maybe that is your option, but like most women, the decision is not an easy one and there are long term repercussions from doing this. If you KNOW in your heart that this action would devastate you and haunt you for the rest of your life, then don't do it.

Your circumstances may seem bleak to you now but you don't know what the future holds for you? What if your financial situation is brilliant 6 years away from now? It would mean that yes, you struggled in those early years with your baby but then everything got better. What if you struggle in 10 years to conceive with a new partner? etc,

No man who behaves like that after you tell them you are pregnant is worth getting rid of a child for, seriously. At the very least, a partner who doesn't want a baby certainly won't leave you, threaten you, nor give you ultimatums.

The absolute, main reason I decided to keep my baby and let him go ahead and leave me was because I could not guarantee that this man was my life partner, he never showed me enough respect and commitment before I got pregnant, so why the hell should I have gone through an abortion just for him, no way.

Do what is right for you hun and what you think is the best thing in your heart not your brain to do.

 

[Vickie]

Thread closed.

I'm sorry but it goes against forum rules and TOS:

While BabyandBump tries to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.