In the process of miscarriage..

[Jessi216]

Hello, I'm new here but have been reading threads to kind of cope with what I'm going through. I was 5 weeks 3 days pregnant with my second (my first is 7!) when I woke up yesterday & started brown spotting. I didn't think much of it until I started bleeding bright red. A trip to the ER, blood work, an ultra sound, trans-vaginal & 5 hours later, the doctor confirmed I indeed was suffering a miscarriage. Told me my levels were already dropping, to follow up with my OB & sent me on my way. I'm distraught to say the least & I can't control when the tears start flowing. Every trip to the bathroom is a constant reminder of what could have been. I guess I am looking for some encouragement, as I really want to TTC again. Although, emotionally I am not sure I will be ready, dreading another MC. & then I feel guilty for wanting to try again, when I just loss so suddenly. My mind bounces from what did I do to deserve this, what did I do wrong, to it'll be okay, we can try again. Feel kind of selfish. Not sure if these feelings are normal. Anyone else feel like this? Emotionally drained & sad to ready to conceive ASAP? Anyone conceive directly after miscarriage with a healthy baby? Currently just need someone to talk to that isn't just going to tell me that it was so early that they can't understand why I am so upset. TIA.

 

[Bumblebee117]

Hi!

I am so sorry that you're going through this... I had a miscarriage at 5+4 in July and I am newly pregnant again... It was the hardest time to get over it and I thought that I never want to try again. But after informing myself on statistics, reading other people's stories and lots of things going on in between then and now, I got my head around it and try to accept that this baby that I lost wasn't meant to be with us. I will never forget our little angel, even tho some people say it must have been a chemical and there might have never been a baby.

I hope you know that with your fears, sadness and the question WHY - you're not alone!

Take some time to recover - physically and mentally. Talk about the miscarriage, it helped me to open up about it. I can now share my fears of it happening again with the person I've told.

Feel hugged, you will, whether it be sooner or later, be ready to try again!

xx

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm so sorry hun. I had my second mc in August at 15 weeks (mmc) my first was at 18 weeks. We also lost a daughter at 5 days.

We decided to TTC straight away after all of the losses. Those pregnancies went fine. I just got a bfp yesterday so fingers crossed for this one.

I think you're feelings of guilt about trying again is normal. However you are not trying to replace the baby you have lost, babys are irreplaceable, you just want a baby in your arms- thats a natural and normal instinct. Big hugs x

 

[Jessi216]

Thanks Bumblebee! I'm sorry for your miscarriage, but so happy to hear you are pregnant again!-- I too have been reading up on statistics. I have a 7 year old son & when I was pregnant with him, it was the easiest & most wonderful pregnancy. I just expected the same this time around & now that I have miscarried, I'm a nervous wreck! It took us this long to decide to have another & we were so excited. I think that's why at times, I feel ready to try again. You are right though, I need to take time for myself, considering I am going through a roller coaster of emotions, & of course, physically my lower stomach feels "sore".


LoraLoo, so sorry to hear of your losses, my fingers are crossed for you during this pregnancy! You're absolutely right, my oldest (& only) son is 7 & he, as long as his daddy & I, are so ready for a baby to hold. Your story & bumblees gives me hope! Thanks ladies for letting me vent, it helps to talk to people who've been there before! Grateful for this forum I stumbled upon!

 

[LoraLoo]

It really is a great forum, hope you stick around- the forum is very busy but the ladies are so supportive. I hope that when you decide to ttc again, that your journey is a nice short one x

 

[PrincessPearl]

Jessi, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I, too, am in the process of miscarrying. I went in this morning for an early scan ( I am 5w+6), and my Dr told me it didn't look good (the sac had collapsed, and the spotting I had is now heavy bleeding). My story is a little more complicated though. I have a daughter who is 10, and secondary infertility has left me with no choice but ivf to have a second child. I have had 4 cycles in 15 months. Cycle 1 ended in a miscarriage at 5 weeks, cycle 2 +3 were unsuccessful, cycle 4 is the current miscarriage. After the first miscarriage, we waited the recommend 2 cycles before we tried again. I understand your desire to try as soon as possible. You are not trying to replace anyone. This baby will always have its own place in your heart, and you will always be its mother, even though you will never hold that baby in your arms. You go ahead and grieve the loss however you need to, and when you are ready, try again. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait is. The only person who knows what is right for you is you!! Listen to your heart and your gut, and I wish you all the best for the next try!!

 

[LoraLoo]

Thanks Bumblebee! I'm sorry for your miscarriage, but so happy to hear you are pregnant again!-- I too have been reading up on statistics. I have a 7 year old son & when I was pregnant with him, it was the easiest & most wonderful pregnancy. I just expected the same this time around & now that I have miscarried, I'm a nervous wreck! It took us this long to decide to have another & we were so excited. I think that's why at times, I feel ready to try again. You are right though, I need to take time for myself, considering I am going through a roller coaster of emotions, & of course, physically my lower stomach feels "sore".


LoraLoo, so sorry to hear of your losses, my fingers are crossed for you during this pregnancy! You're absolutely right, my oldest (& only) son is 7 & he, as long as his daddy & I, are so ready for a baby to hold. Your story & bumblees gives me hope! Thanks ladies for letting me vent, it helps to talk to people who've been there before! Grateful for this forum I stumbled upon!

Thank you. Sadly we lost this little one too, so back to Ttc this cycle x

 

[Jessi216]

So sorry to hear princesspearl. I thought my emotions were in tact but after blood work today (now 6 days after m/c) telling me my hcg was 2, it just settled in a little deeper that this is all real. Not sure if we are gunna go right into trying, maybe we will dtd as they say without planning around O & see what happens. I'm just completely shattered, as I am sure your feelings are very similar. I hope things look up for us soon!

Lotaloo, I am so sorry this happened to you again. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[tinyfootsteps]

Hi hun,

I am currently going through my second miscarriage (I had a healthy pregnancy in between them and now have a toddler girl).

I'm still feeling petty raw at the moment and can't even think about getting pregnant again as I just don't want to go through this pain again.

I can understand why'd you want to get up, dust yourself off and carry on trying to conceive though. I know that some women are very fertile after a MC and a few friends of mine have had healthy pregnancies straight after a MC. So there is hope.

Whatever happens, wishing you the best of luck. xx

 

[Jessi216]

Tinyfootsteps- I am very sorry to hear of of your m/c's. I hope you have a quick recovery both mentally & physically this time around, but like I was told, take all the time you need. There's no right or wrong way to get through a m/c.

Thank you for the kind words. I have convinced myself that I am ready to try again & I'll never forget our little bean! Gives me hope to hear of the women who've TTC straight away & ha healthy pregnancies, carrying full term. When my body is ready, I believe I too will fall pregnant again & carry another beautiful, healthy baby. My 7 year old is growing impatient, as am I!

 

[Rhiannon137]

Hi Jessi,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have a full success story to share yet, but I did end up getting pregnant immediately after a miscarriage at 6 weeks in October. I am a little freaked out, and WAY more worried than I was with my previous pregnancies (both the MC and my earlier pregnancy with my son), but I think that would have been true whenever I got pregnant again.

Mentally, I also dealt with things pretty quickly and felt guilty about that at times. Realistically, I knew that my advanced age had probably led to an egg that cycle that never would have been able to develop into a healthy baby. Once I realized what was happening, I mostly felt relieved that it happened early, quickly and naturally, and I was ready to move forward.

I knew that, medically speaking, it could happen that soon, but I never in a million years thought it would. I have an ultrasound scheduled for next week when (I think) I will be a little over 6 weeks. Im hoping it gives me some peace of mind.

Take care of yourself, and do what feels right. Good luck to you.

 

[Jessi216]

Rhiannon- I am sorry to hear of your loss, but happy to hear you have fallen pregnant again so soon! Fingers crossed for you! I definitely see why you would be so worried as I am sure I would share very similar feelings! Hopefully those feelings for you will fade & you can enjoy this pregnancy every day! You've definitely given me hope so I thank you for sharing your story & I wish you the best with this pregnancy!

 

[BunnyN]

My first loss was at only about 4 weeks and was a really hard experience for me. I got pregnant my next cycle and that pregnancy went well. She is 2.5 now. We have a 10 month old too. We have just suffered another loss. I was further along so has been much harder physically but in some ways has been easier emotionally because somehow we know what we are grieving. I found the early loss messed with my emotions so much and I didn't know how I should feel. It was also a very lonely experience. This time people know about it too which has actually been a comfort for me. Honesty I don't think there is a right way to feel. However you feel about TTC again etc is fine. Sorry for your loss and hugs.

 

[Laurenmomma]

I'm going through a miscarriage now, bleeding started today 😟

I had one 2 years ago only a few days after I found out I was pregnant, it was only when I got pregnant again I realised it was a miscarriage, thought it was a bad period!

Anyway it was the month after the miscarriage that I got pregnant and I wasn't even trying! He's 2 now ☺️ Good luck x

 

[Jessi216]

My first loss was at only about 4 weeks and was a really hard experience for me. I got pregnant my next cycle and that pregnancy went well. She is 2.5 now. We have a 10 month old too. We have just suffered another loss. I was further along so has been much harder physically but in some ways has been easier emotionally because somehow we know what we are grieving. I found the early loss messed with my emotions so much and I didn't know how I should feel. It was also a very lonely experience. This time people know about it too which has actually been a comfort for me. Honesty I don't think there is a right way to feel. However you feel about TTC again etc is fine. Sorry for your loss and hugs.

I'm sorry for your losses also! Each pregnancy is different in their own way just like each miscarriage is traumatic in their own ways. I've had my one miscarriage 29 days ago today, I couldn't imagine having another. Which is why I am scared to even find out if I may have conceived directly after my miscarriage. As much as I want to know if I am, & as much as I want to be, I won't be testing for pregnancy for a while, trying not to get my hopes up! Hugs to you too!

 

[Jessi216]

I'm going through a miscarriage now, bleeding started today 😟

I had one 2 years ago only a few days after I found out I was pregnant, it was only when I got pregnant again I realised it was a miscarriage, thought it was a bad period!

Anyway it was the month after the miscarriage that I got pregnant and I wasn't even trying! He's 2 now ☺️ Good luck x

I am so sorry to hear you're going through another miscarriage. Hugs to you!! xxxx

 

[bubbles82]

Just wanted to send you hugs and wish you luck for your next try whenever you're ready. I'm just going through my third miscarriage, and still in the stage where I'm not sure if I want to try again as it's too hard to go through this so many times, but hopefully I'll get through that and we'll have better luck next time. There are many success stories out there, so nothing to say you won't get your rainbow next time. I actually conceived my two year old daughter straight after my first loss with no AF, so she is proof that it can work out as soon as you're ready.

 

[Jessi216]

Just wanted to send you hugs and wish you luck for your next try whenever you're ready. I'm just going through my third miscarriage, and still in the stage where I'm not sure if I want to try again as it's too hard to go through this so many times, but hopefully I'll get through that and we'll have better luck next time. There are many success stories out there, so nothing to say you won't get your rainbow next time. I actually conceived my two year old daughter straight after my first loss with no AF, so she is proof that it can work out as soon as you're ready.

Thank you, I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriages also. It doesn't look like my month. We did try straight away (no charting or anything, just dtd every other day since bleeding stopped, sometimes two days in a row) & even felt like we got lucky. I had lots of white cm the last two weeks & my boobs were very tender! However, today is 6 days since I would have normally expected my period, (28 day cycle, miscarried October 31st) but last night I had severe back pain that is continuing today, & I just stated bleeding. I purposely didn't test when I was late, knowing it could take 4-6 weeks to get a/f after miscarriage, & I also didn't want to know honestly in case I bled again. I Feel like I did when I miscarried but just going to think of it as my a/f, just bad. Still makes me sad though. Here's to TTC next month. Feeling down & broken thoigh.

 

[Rhiannon137]

FWIW, I've heard many people describe their first period (or few periods) after a miscarriage as much more intense than a usual menstual cycle. It might be due to hormonal fluctuations, or your body still having some extra thick lining to clear out. I think you were wise not to test, and I'd advise that you try not to overanalyze your current period. The fact that it came is a good sign your body is getting back on track.

Best of luck going forwards.

 

[Jessi216]

FWIW, I've heard many people describe their first period (or few periods) after a miscarriage as much more intense than a usual menstual cycle. It might be due to hormonal fluctuations, or your body still having some extra thick lining to clear out. I think you were wise not to test, and I'd advise that you try not to overanalyze your current period. The fact that it came is a good sign your body is getting back on track.

Best of luck going forwards.

I guess I was just hoping that I would be one of the lucky ones that caught directly after an early miscarriage & go on to have a healthy pregnancy & baby. Just stinks cause my original due date was so perfect. But thank you for the kind words & you are right, it's a good sign that my body is getting back to normal.