Incentives for Potty Training

[SarahBear]

At what age do you think incentives are an appropriate tool in potty training? Leo has been familiar with the potty his whole life and while he was signing for the potty before a year, he stopped that for months and months. Now that he's starting to request and use the potty more often, I'm starting to wonder about actual potty training. I know from experience that kids this age can have lots of ups and downs with potty use, so I don't know that this is exactly the most age appropriate strategy, but I do want to be encouraging him. I have a two week break from work coming up, a one week break around his birthday, and a 2 and a half month break in the summer starting when he's 2 years 3 months. While I might not put in an all out effort on each of those breaks, I will be encouraging him more as I'll be home more. I'm hoping that by the end of the summer, he's well on his way to dryness. I'm just wondering whether or not potty training incentives should/would fit in anywhere along the line.

At what age did you use potty training incentives (I'm thinking something on par with chocolate)?
Was it successful?
Was it near the top of your list of strategies or a last resort?

 

[_Meep_]

We haven't really started yet though I think she's getting ready. We're waiting for spring when it will be less freezing cold.

I just sort of figured that if it turns out she is resistant, I'll probably use something like one Jelly Tot per pee/poop successfully performed in the appropriate place.

I don't have a problem with a little bit of bribery if the child is totally unwilling to try - but otherwise, no problem, time and patience should win out.

 

[MindUtopia]

We did a very short intensive period of potty training, so four days of setting a timer every 15-20 minutes and sitting her on the toilet. I offered a raisin or a wedge of satsuma every time to got off as an incentive. Generally, I'm not a big fan of rewards for behaviour, like we don't do sticker charts or anything like that, but I think frankly that being asked to sit on the toilet all day long every time a timer goes off is a pretty onerous and annoying thing to be expected to do. It wasn't about if she did a wee or not. It was just about if she listened and sat on the toilet and tried without too much complaint, then she got a treat after. I think that's a reasonable trade off. I wouldn't have done chocolate as that would have been a lot of sugar all day long and it's not something I would have kept going beyond that period. But it helped make it easier and after four days she was pretty happy to do it herself anyway.

 

[Willow82]

My 4 year old is very resistant to potty training and no amount of bribery has worked thus far. Even a really expensive toy that he really wants (which he knows isn't going to come at Christmas) isn't enough, he hates the thought of it that much!

 

[SarahBear]

We did a very short intensive period of potty training, so four days of setting a timer every 15-20 minutes and sitting her on the toilet. I offered a raisin or a wedge of satsuma every time to got off as an incentive. Generally, I'm not a big fan of rewards for behaviour, like we don't do sticker charts or anything like that, but I think frankly that being asked to sit on the toilet all day long every time a timer goes off is a pretty onerous and annoying thing to be expected to do. It wasn't about if she did a wee or not. It was just about if she listened and sat on the toilet and tried without too much complaint, then she got a treat after. I think that's a reasonable trade off. I wouldn't have done chocolate as that would have been a lot of sugar all day long and it's not something I would have kept going beyond that period. But it helped make it easier and after four days she was pretty happy to do it herself anyway.

When Violet was a couple months short of 3, she was fully diapered and had been for a couple months. She was previously out of diapers and had a complete regression with it when she was just short of 2 and a half. At a couple months short of three, I could tell she was able to handle being pushed into potty training. Chocolate was our friend! Granted we didn't put her on the toilet every 15-20 minutes, but there really isn't that much sugar in semi-sweet chocolate chips. That's what I used with her. I started by just giving her one every time she used the toilet. Weaning her off was fairly easy. I started by waiting for her to remind me to give her one and then eventually had it so there was only a certain amount left and when they ran out, we didn't replace them.

I was initially against incentives, but now I feel like they're not so bad when used cautiously. I am very limited in my use of rewards. I've never done a sticker chart either. The closest I did was have Violet fill out a chart to keep track of being dry at night for a week. The point wasn't that she'd get a reward at the end. The point was that if she could stay dry for a week, it meant her body was ready to be done with diapers at night. At her last doctor's appointment, she also needed her blood drawn, so I told her she'd get a "surprise egg" (an Easter egg with a toy, a sticker, and a piece of candy) and a donut. Oh, I suppose I used to show her videos after she let me brush her teeth and now she watches them while her teeth are brushed...

 

[_Meep_]

You do what you have to do to make things run more efficiently. The occasional small incentive isn't going to cause any long-term problems. Might actually let my kid watch videos while she has her teeth brushed, as she really hates it ...

 

[SarahBear]

You do what you have to do to make things run more efficiently. The occasional small incentive isn't going to cause any long-term problems. Might actually let my kid watch videos while she has her teeth brushed, as she really hates it ...

Violet was horrible about teeth brushing as a baby and toddler. People would say the things they did to make it work and those things just DIDN'T work! Now I realize she has tactile sensitivities, but at the time it was practically impossible. I used to alternate between tooth brush and cloth in order to find the best strategy for getting in there and for a while it was so bad that I was only doing it once a day and settling for simply getting the toothbrush or cloth to each part of her mouth rather than a thorough cleaning. Eventually I got to the point where I was able to use a video to get through it. At first she would resist so I'd either pause the video each time she didn't cooperate, or I'd pin her to the floor and reward her with a video after. Eventually she cooperated more and more. Now she cooperates fine and afterward she might comment "uh oh, you forgot to brush my teeth" because she's distracted enough from it. After night time brushing was under control, I added morning brushing without a video. Now she does that fine but will sometimes say "I won't cooperate without a video." Too bad! I get her to eventually cooperate. She has her ups and downs with it but is generally not too bad about it. Leo has been difficult with teeth lately, but that's mostly because he doesn't want to hold still for it. It was never as bad as it is with Violet and it's getting better again. He just needs a bit of distraction if they're brushed when he's tired.

 

[dovkav123]

Congratulations! Leo is asking for the potty! He is ready!
I have read in the literature, that a child can hold his urine when he is 18 months old.
My son was over 1 year old when we started talking about pee pee, mama pee pee, daddy pee pee. He was always curious and he was always following us to the toilet.
I decided to train him now because very soon we will be moving to a home where there are only carpeting.
He was 22 months old I started to potty train him a month ago. I needed 4 things, a potty, soft children toilet seat, animal stickers and a room without a carpet, it was our living room, and a bed with a wooden board in the kitchen. He got a sticker every time he did in the potty, he picked it and glued it on the potty. He had no diaper on, he wanted to sit on the potty very often. He did have accidents... He still has his diaper on when we go out, he would tell me he wants to go but I would say do it in the diaper. Also he has a diaper when he walks around the rest of the house. Even then he tells he needs to go...
I showed him how to pull his pants down and he did it well, but putting them on, it is a bit difficult.
After one month of training he wakes up most of the time dry and runs to pee in the toilet. I put him on the toilet, he does it, he stands up, wipes, flushes the toilet and washes his hands. During the day he does in his potty or in the diaper, sometimes he tells me, when it is too late. In the evening before the bed time he sits on the toilet too.
Sitting longer on the toilet was not hard for him. I gave him to smell, to open all kind of toilet treats. He would sit for 10 to 15 min and wouldn't do any. Now he is quick and don't ask for anything even a sticker.
I am so proud of my big guy, he got tons of hugs and kisses and bravos in the past month and he will get much more cos he is still in the training process, I take it with patients. More laundry need to be done now more then ever.

Advice to you, avoid giving chocolate, choose a healthy treat like dried fruit, juice, milk shake, cos u will need to give a lot of treats in short period of time, sometimes 3 in 20 min. I remember he was pushing hard for a little drop to get a reward.
Another advice, it needs to be a fun, joyful activity. Never threaten or punish for not sitting on the toilet. If he resists, take a paus and try again later.
I wish you all the best,

 

[JenX]

Personally, I don't think incentives are appropriate at any age. I feel that waiting until they are ready and do it because they want to is preferred.

We followed the advice here (link below) waited until it was LO's idea and it was so easy and there were so few accidents. It was the easiest part of parenting yet. Your mileage may vary.

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2014/...-need-toilet-training-and-what-to-do-instead/

Edited to add: I also don't use food rewards of any kind for my LO as it goes against the relationship I would like her to have with food overall.

 

[_Meep_]

You do what you have to do to make things run more efficiently. The occasional small incentive isn't going to cause any long-term problems. Might actually let my kid watch videos while she has her teeth brushed, as she really hates it ...

Violet was horrible about teeth brushing as a baby and toddler. People would say the things they did to make it work and those things just DIDN'T work! Now I realize she has tactile sensitivities, but at the time it was practically impossible. I used to alternate between tooth brush and cloth in order to find the best strategy for getting in there and for a while it was so bad that I was only doing it once a day and settling for simply getting the toothbrush or cloth to each part of her mouth rather than a thorough cleaning. Eventually I got to the point where I was able to use a video to get through it. At first she would resist so I'd either pause the video each time she didn't cooperate, or I'd pin her to the floor and reward her with a video after. Eventually she cooperated more and more. Now she cooperates fine and afterward she might comment "uh oh, you forgot to brush my teeth" because she's distracted enough from it. After night time brushing was under control, I added morning brushing without a video. Now she does that fine but will sometimes say "I won't cooperate without a video." Too bad! I get her to eventually cooperate. She has her ups and downs with it but is generally not too bad about it. Leo has been difficult with teeth lately, but that's mostly because he doesn't want to hold still for it. It was never as bad as it is with Violet and it's getting better again. He just needs a bit of distraction if they're brushed when he's tired.

Mine seems to have got worse about it as she has grown older! She has a buccal tie on one side by her molars (never known a kid with so many oral ties, I tell you, though they're all resolved now except this one!) and because I have to brush the molars, I have to stretch it a bit, and I think it hurts. But I don't want her getting decay there, and I also hope that by gently stretching it, it will become more flexible and make things easier for her in the future.

I think it's partly psychological though as she doesn't make half as much fuss when her dad does her teeth. So I think a bit of distraction would work wonders.

I had to laugh that Violet sometimes doesn't even notice you've done her teeth!

 

[Take2]

My daughter (3 next month) has not really been motivated by any incentive, stickers, toys..nothing is working. We are currently on our 3rd attempt at toilet training, we try for a week and if we haven't made any headway I give it a break for 3-4 weeks then we try again. I guess she just isn't mature enough yet..it's frustrating because my eldest daughter was fully toilet trained day and night by 2 and 3 months, they are all different. DD2 is much more immature than DD1 was at the same age in every way!

 

[Pink Petals]

I didn't want to use food as a reward, so we used those little cheap plastic animals (DS loves animals). It worked well!

Now that he is 3, he is going through a regression of sorts (new baby) and so we have a potty chart where he gets stickers. Every time he gets 8 stickers he gets a little Disney figurine. It's working!