Incompetent Cervix - stitch/cerclage - threatened labour

[Twinkle 3]

Thank you everyone for your advice, I'm just going through a really hard time at the minute with all my aches and pains and constant pressure. I'm really really scared that something is wrong or I'm going to go into labour but every time I to to the hospital which is weekly, sometimes even daily they say everything is ok and my cervix is always good. Im finding this pregnancy so hard emotionally and physically. I feel like its a Very hard task to carry my little boy and like my body isnt up for this huge challenge, I am hoping and praying that I make it to viability.

All I want is for my little boy to make it to a decent gestation and I will do anything for that to happen. I am in the danger zone at the minute. I'm terrified of going into labour and have go through the same as last year. I'm not strong enough to have another loss

I won't be pushing another baby out I will demand a c section as I cannot psychically do it
I dont mean to sound like a drama queen but I just don't think I can physically push another baby out for it not to survive, I'm really doubting I can do it again at full term either as I had a terrible birth and it scarred me for life. I didn't realise how much anxiety it gave me until I got pregnant again and realised I would have to do it again, my first birth was lovely my second was a nightmare. Everything went wrong
I also do understand a c section is a major operation but it just feels like the right option for me with my prevoius experience and anxiety

I really hope this isn't the end of my journey and I hope to cArry this little boy further and further all the way to the end. Evry time I get an ache or pain I get less confident
I just want to be at the end of the pregnancy full term and wish someone would just knock me out until then. As living it is a nightmare.

I have constant pressure what gets worse when walking, I have a tender stomach under my bump with shooting pains every so often.. Ligaments I think?

I have constant backahe that's not too painful just achey. I'm in no really severe pain and I don't know if it's made worse by myself constantly thinking about the pain or worrying about giving birth....

Icould just cry I'm so grateful for this pregnancy and to be given a chance of having a little boy but it is so hard

I'm so scared I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the depressing and long message

I hope all you lovely ladies are ok

 

[Tink_0123]

Twinkle, you have reached 19 weeks and have been doing an excellent job cooking that baby.. I also found myself in ur position from around 9-23 weeks calling and going to the dr every week for every ache and pain id feel. Initially with me it started out as spotting at 9 weeks, had those episodes till 17 weeks then my cervix started funneling at first it went from 4.3 cm to 2.7 cm with pressure (they didnt tell me this at the time, but I have my notes now), was put on bed rest for a week then cl was 3.13 cm so I was able to return to work, I chose to have reduced hours as sitting down for extended periods felt like I was getting kicked in my lady areas.

I started losing bits of my plug about 20 weeks, very small but it didnt feel right. I also had the sharp shooting pains u speak of. I started having a clear watery discharge at about 22 weeks, but just once a day in the mornings and it wasnt much so I let it go for a few days thinking it was pee. I decided to call the dr to have it checked out n they thought I was leaking so I went for a scan, fluids were fine but I decided to ask the sonographer to do a tvu which dr hadnt requested so she gave me a hard time but ended up doing it anyway. Glad she did, cl had gone from 3.13 cm 4 weeks prior to to 1.7 cm. It continued to shrink and at 24 weeks was my worse (that I know of) .9 cm..

Anywho, to finish up the story.. I was placed on SBR and progesterone suppositories from 23+2 till 36 weeks with no stitch in place. At first I was soooo paranoid thinking everyday was gonna b the day I'd go into labor or something would happen, but really deep down inside I always felt like my baby would make it no matter when she decided to come.

All I'm saying is, hang in there Twinkle. I know that nothing is guaranteed in life, but always trust ur instincts no matter what. I'm certain your going to make well beyond the 20's and 30's and have a healthy baby. As each week goes by time does seem to go by a lot quicker, I dont if it really does or maybe u just stop giving it as much thought. You're a strong woman, please remain positive, try not to let those awful thoughts get u down. Picture urself taking a healthy baby home in the end, this helped me a lot in my darkest times. Just take it a day at a time. You'll be in my thoughts Twinkle, hang in there!!

Sorry this turned out long, wanted to give u some insight on my story to show theres hope. We've all had similar stories and I understand sometimes the goals we set seen so far away but you'll get there very soon!

 

[TLM21]

@agi sorry your dealing with snow... as sometimes I think about moving back to Chicago the cold and long Winters just makes that.thought distant. I'm just glad I'm not going throughsbr in the, middle of summer with humidity and heat at a maximum. anyway sending you some warm weather, is already mid march so spring is coming,
oh and congrats on your making it so far, that's fabulous!
@twinkle I don't even know what to say... so so sorry youR going thru all this. last year when I lost my baby was very hard, but I had to keep thinking things happen for a reason, otherwise I would have lost it completely, that was my first pregnancy after trying for a while I neeaded some treatment to even get pregnant. with this pregnancy I've been super paranoid, specially from week 20-26, at 20 I learned I was funneling, but stitch was holding up. at that point I was a nervous wreck with all the pains and every sensation, not sure if I could trust the Dr or not, driving everyone bunkers near me, including myself. at that point I realize I couldn't do it like that any longer, I did reached for powers above and .started reading stuff that would make me remember that I'm doing all I can and there most things I don't have control over, and had to trust. I was reading a book and everytime I was super anxious read the chapters again and again.
I then took it hour by hour, half my day would pass and I was excited then the g
full day. I prayed a lot, still do... it calms me down a bit. I put myself on sbr since
20 weeks, not getting up only to shower and bathroom.
just try to have some faith, take an hour at a time, I know they feel like years, focuson all the success stories, look at tink, agi, hope's ticker I'm positive we will.all be that far at some point.
sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs
sorry for spelling mistakes the phone doesn't like to cooperate some time, lol

 

[TLM21]

@wunderful congrats on 32 weeks, yipeeee!

 

[Twinkle 3]

Thankyou so much Tink and tlm for your kind words and advice.

As you can see I'm having award time lately, I hope I can come out feeling more positive. I think I will relax a little when I get to 24weeks.

Tink your story really helped as you made it to term without a stitch and short cervix, it's very inspiring to read. I hope I do as well as you and make it into my 20s and 30s like you said. I'm so happy you made it to term

Tlm I think i need to do what you say and start to think positive, I also pray a lot that this pregnancy will work out ok.
I keep trying to take my mind off things by reading but I slowly start reverting back to worrying and end up in a panic... It's so hard. I am driving myself and my family insane.. Thankyou for the advic and don't worry about the spelling mistakes my phone and iPad always want to write letters I don't press , I find it hard to write a sentence without mistakes lol

 

[LoveSeel]

I don't have preeclampsia! I do have pregnancy induced hypertension, but for now it's not cause for an early delivery. Next week after about 9 1/2 weeks of bedrest I should be off bedrest. I'll be 34 weeks then. My doctor wants me to go into spontaneous labor and not get induced. This means I am expecting to meet my twins between 34 and 36 weeks. I'm still disappointed they will be early and have a nicu stay, but I understand I've made it to a much safer place now. Oh and I can't remember if I mentioned this earlier, but on Monday my perinatologist said I undilated 1/2 a cm. who knew that could even happen?

 

[DAYDAY24]

Ladies when did you start buying things for baby I was thinking at week 28 I will start getting stuff since I need double but scared if something happens. My doc said I could go home at that week as long as things stay stable yay

 

[Tink_0123]

LoveSeel, great news!! Although your twins will have to stay in the NICU, no doubt it will be a short stay as you have reached a great gestation. Best of luck to you hun!

Day, I started feeling more comfortable getting things for Audrey at around the 28th week mark. At that point, I felt a lot more comfortable with my pregnancy and started to relax a little.

 

[DAYDAY24]

Thats what I was thinking tink really since I have more to buy . Haven't even settled on names

 

[Craigswife]

TLM, I found your story really inspiring. This experience is so hard emotionally. I agree the early 20's weeks are so hard, being in the danger zone, close to the magic 28wks but not close enough.
Twinkle, I'm so sorry you're struggling at the moment, I hope you've been able to take some comfort from everyone's messages. After everything you've been through you are bound to worry. I can't offer much help, but wanted to send a virtual hug xx

 

[karenh24]

quick question for you ladies, when do cervical changes start happening i'll be 15 weeks 2mro and feel some pressure but sorry for tmi i've been constipated for a few days so im not sure if it that or something i need to keep an eye on

 

[DAYDAY24]

Karenh depends, on person I lost a baby at 17 weeks

 

[Twinkle 3]

Thankyou CW I'm just really panicky as I spend all day evryday thinking I'm in labour with the pressure and pain in my back abdomen and I between my legs, I'm starting to wonder if I have an added complication such as spd aswel. The baby is really low down so I don't know if that's part of the problem. I just hope I'm not in labour and My stitch is holding well. I really can't wait for me to reach 24 weeks

 

[karenh24]

im sorry for your loss dayday.i lost my son at 22 weeks 5 days

 

[TLM21]

@ Shelby how are you, and the girls?
@ cw thanks I know we all have our hard journeys... we are all stronger than what we think... twinkle remembeR that hun
@ day I'm the same way, still insure of when to buy anything, I may send my friend and my credit card after 32, not sure though. I'm only getting what is completely necessary then and go after the baby is born to get non, necessary stuff. still debating...
@ karenh I lost the baby early on, changes can happen differently in everyone, so just stay keep closely monitoring it, if you feel like you need to be checked out, do it. see if the Dr can give you something for the constipation, I'm always trying to identify where is the pressure coming from. I'm taking miralax daily which helps softening and makes it easier to go, sorry tmi...lol
oh I forgot I know this is very personal but I just joined a 21 day meditation challenge by deepak.Chopra online, it's free and it takes about 15 minutes, it also helps calm me down. if anyone is interested just google 21 day meditation challenge...

 

[Agiboma]

@tlm when i was pregnant with my son i meditated all the time especially when i was on hospital bedrest it helped me a bit to calm down. I still meditate when i can and try to infuse positive energy into my life, but its hard to do it frequently because of my very active 30 month old. I dont go to church and im not religious but deeply spiritual so meditation is my way of communicating with g-d and the universe.Ill try to join the challenge.

 

[Prayerfulmom2]

Missy made it to hour 40 with all bottle feeds then stopped:/ she got tired. So they put the tube back and at 2am, she pulled it out herself! Lol she's been all bottle since then! She's too funny. She's 5 pounds 11 ounces

 

[Tink_0123]

Great weight on Missy, Prayer!! Looks like she's really eager to go home, cant blame her tho lol. Hopefully all continues to go well so she can go home.. FX

 

[Agiboma]

@prayerful she is definetly trying to say something she is ready to go home
@Tink congrats on TERM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Twinkle 3]

Ladies iv just realised that what I thought was movement are really contractions I'm really scared they arnt painful, I'm thinking either irritable uterus or Braxton hicks but I am getting them every day a few times a day. I do have back ache and pressure also low baby kicks, I'm really achey all over I would go to the hospital but at 19 weeks they won't help you stop contractions and all they said is if I'm in labour this early my stitch will be taken out. So I'm thinking to rest and stay hydrated until Thursday when I see my consultant and have a scan. By then I'll be 20weeks. What do you all think?

Tlm iv signed up for the 21 day thing I'm going to give it a try and see if it relaxes me

Prayerful missy is a great weight, hope she's home soon

Hope everyone is ok