Incompetent Cervix - stitch/cerclage - threatened labour

[olga2424]

Hi ladies

JJ - tilting the bed is usually a last resort for ladies who have no cervix left and bulging membranes - its debatable whether it actually helps, but logic tells you that removing ALL weight from a failing cervix can't hurt. Since IC is more to do with uterine expansion than sheer weight however, it probably doesn't do much more than decent rest lying on your side does. I am a believer in resting a tired uterus and cervix which is expanding and under strain, allowing it to do its primary job 'baby baking'. It is after all a huge muscle and placing additional pressure on it just might be enough to tip the balance in us IC ladies.

I think you're fine resting on a horizontal bed, but if it makes you feel more secure, and you can get comfortable it certainly won't do any harm to tilt the bed slightly Whatever you feel comfortable with really.

Cervix-wise, what you are feeling is more likely to do with your stage of pregnancy now, the baby getting bigger and more pressure on your nether regions. It's normal to have a 'bulky' feeling down below as you progress - your pelvic organs are under huge pressure and you can feel it! It's disconcerting because of the IC but is usual in uncomplicated pregnancies too, except less worrying for ladies without IC and a stitch. I felt as though I had a tampon hanging out from 22wks, but it was just pressure and prolapse due to the babies' size.

The separation from Matt and PJ must be tough I think the feeling of loneliness is heightened tho because of the reason for the separation more than for its own sake? This is an intensely emotional time for you all and the outcome uncertain. At times like these all you want is to curl up in bed with loved ones and pull the covers over your head but you can't, and that is sooo tough I think you're doing so well despite this JJ, your dignity and strength are amazing - even if you don't think so.

Your loved ones are behind you every step of the way (as are mine - everyone here knows your story and is praying for a positive outcome ) even if they can't be physically present. This journey is gonna be a tough one but you are most definitely NOT facing it alone my darlin'

Olga hun, very worried about you now sweet. Are you ok? Are you able to check in? Xxx

Lizzie hun, am fine thanks....Still hanging in though I had a very stressful day yesterday.
Had a lady who was next to me and her waters had gone at 25w + 4, she was in a lot of pain and contracting every 10-15mins, she hadn't felt baby move all day and was showing signs of infection with a high temperature.
I was so worried for her as she was desperately holding on to the pregnancy even when the Dr. was trying to persuade her to deliver and prevent infection traveling to the baby.....The whole thing kind of brought back all the horrible memories of what I went through with my previous loss with the Dr.s telling me to terminate my baby when i could still feel her kick and move, I just couldn't stop crying (HORMONES!!), eventually things turned worse and she was taken to deliver her little boy (still don't know what the out come was). Kept thinking about her all night and praying all was well with her little boy.

JJ and christiana, congs on reaching the 24w milestone, next will be 28w....JJ, my bed is in the 'T' position, it was not very comfortable in the beginning but I eventually got used to it. Oh and am glad you've had your 1st dose of steroids ( very painful, isn't it?)
Kateqpr , you and poppy look so lovely, Larockera, 38w hun and well done you!

Well, I saw the professor who runs the pre term clinic @ st. thomas (cant remember his name, VERY, VERY GOOD GUY! ) I was really lucky as apparently he is so busy and its hard to get an appointment with him, he reviewed my case and went through all my notes and did the FFN test which to my surprise came back negative:yipee massive shock to me as he was also convinced it would come back positive! He also scanned me and said although my cervix still looked very short(15mm with funneling) that it necessarily doesn't mean I wouldn't be able to carry till 37-38w, he was positive I still had a good chance of going a little further with my pregnancy now that my ffn test was negative.... He wants to see me again on Wed for one more test and if that is negative again too, he would look at discharging me so I can complete the my bed rest @ home. Am starting to feel a bit positive now but still cant get too excited!....I must admit am very impressed with Guys and st. Thomas. really very good and organized def cant complain at all however, the food sucks!

 

[book.fish2011]

Hello dears

JJ, glad you are finding the hospital stay not too bad. Being so closely monitored is definitely a good thing. Getting a Steroid is pointing towards the right direction too. I just pray your water doesn't return, cervix length improves and bubs keep growing in there.

Sure, hopefully all our pleas for time traveling will be heard.

Olga - reading about that poor woman has reignited my fears. Am constantly worried something like this will happen with me. I will perhaps never be able to get over my boy's unexpected birth, and the trauma of his death. How I wish that woman's little boy lives. On the other hand am happy that doctor believes you'll go full term. Some doctors are really nice and their words come true as well.

My story is the same. I need to give a new sample for UTI testing as my earlier sample contaminated. I don't know the exact status of my thrush. After I used the antibiotic soap, the white stuff went away but occasional itching is present. There's no reddening or swelling or abscess. Do you think thrush might have gone away?

I was thinking about my weight gain. In 20 weeks I've gained only 12 pounds whereas the book ( what to expect when you expecting twins) says one must gain at least 24 pounds within 24 weeks. I started at 47 kgs, 150 cm. I don't feel a lot hungry so don't know how I can simply eat ( risking throwing up).

 

[chistiana]

Olga- i m so glad things are looking up hun, hopefuly you ll soon be at home resting and counting down to at least 37 weeks. The story of the lady next bed had me worried too but i so wish you log back in to tell us she s had a happy ending!!

BF- dont worry about weight gain hun, i seriously dont think it tell you anything...with ds i gained a total of 14 pounds (7 kgs) and with this one i am at 8 pounds...babies will get what they need from you, you just need to make sure you eat healthy for you!hope the thrush has gone away, last day of antibiotics for me today, yayayay!!

 

[JimmyJam]

Hey Kate,

Thanks so much for your post, you always manage to articulate what I'm feeling. Matt looked so haggard when he came in this morning, I do feel like it's my fault our world has been turned upside down & I feel like I'm not me. I've been so scared & fragile over the last couple of weeks & he is so used to me being proactive & strong. I hate the snatched moments with him & just want to hold him & for it all to be alright.

But ... We had some good news this morning. Matt calls it snakes & ladders & today at least we avoided a snake. Our first round of amnio results came back clear. One step forward ... We have to wait another week for the rest.

I am verily chatting up the midwives, trying to get them on side. They're ok - a mixed bag, but the medical care is excellent. I'm still hoping they might discharge me & observe as an outpatient but I guess I'll have to suck it & see in clinic tomorrow ... I don't feel toow bad today just knackered from no sleep.

Monday or Tuesday nxt week would be great, just let me know which suits best. I'm on the Edith Dare Ward. I hope you're doing ok. How is the sleeping? You are so damn close now!

Have a good day Gorg.

Jimmyjam xx

 

[JimmyJam]

Ah Lovely Lizzie, thank you. There is so much to worry about - if it's not my cervix, it's the return of the dreaded poly, if not the poly it's what is causing it, and if none of the above how Matt & Pj are coping on their own.

When Matt's happy his mouth curls up like Elvis & when he's low it sets in a thin, flat line. He's got permanent 'flat mouth' at the moment & I just hate seeing him so unhappy. But I'm trying to be positive & calm now I'm in hospie, to reassure him I'm ok.

I do have the most phenomenal support network, have had so many messages of love & caring - I just have to dig deep & get through this.

Tanks for your lovely words, you're a star. You girls on his thread are amazing.

Much love, JJ xx

 

[JimmyJam]

Hey Olga,

What great news you've seen a fab consultant & your FFN came back negative - AND they're considering discharging you to go home on bed rest. How bloody fantastic babe, well done you!

Poor girl in bed next to you, that must have been so horrible. There's a girl on my ward whose waters have broken but she's at 32 weeks. I'd be turning somersaults of joy if I got to that stage ...

Keep us posted hon. Good luck for tmrw & here's hoping you get to go home soon.

Lol Jimmyjam xx

 

[book.fish2011]

JJ, amino results - thats really a good news. Am feeling now much more positive that all's going to be well.

About how you feel with regards to Matt, i understand.

My hubby is very tired when gets home home from work - mentally and physically. He never complains while doing all the dishes, cooking and cleaning, but I just know how tired he is. And all the time, I lie on my bed like a dead log. I feel sorry for him Since we lost our baby, there's hardly been any happy days in our life. We've been married for more than 5 years and we were happy people once upon a time.

Today I told him that we have an extra day in Feb this year , but for which we'd be in March earlier. He immediately agreed. He keeps saying that he just wants time to pass as quickly as it can. He's as anxious as I'm about everything.

 

[JimmyJam]

Hey BF Sweetie,

I'm not surprised you're paranoid after what you've been through. Complicated pgs after loss are just so hard. I am an emotional rollercoaster, swerving erratically between hope & despair. I just want 28 weeks to be here with clear scan results & the possibility my dream could prove a reality. Listen to all the other girls who've made it through despite repeat infections & try not to be too obsessive about what's going on 'down there'. It's tough when you've got all day just to sit & worry but you're doing so, so well - all on yr own in Dubai. Just think how far you've come. You deserve these babies BF. stay strong.

Christiana you sound in great form - so glad the antibiotics are coming to an end. Every day is a step closer ...

God this is a long haul, I didn't sleep a wink last night: skinny bed, tungsten lights. All that got me through was thinking how today would bring me nearer to the prize ...

Have a good day ladies. LaRock, I hope things are dandy in Greece.

Would love to hear feom you Helen, if you're lurking?

Much Love, Jimmyjam xx

 

[JimmyJam]

Hy BF - I think we crossed over. I know, it's so hard. Matt & I have only been married 3 years & they've been some of the toughest of my life. We used to be so so happy too but life just keeps slinging shit at us ... I keep reassuring myself that we have each other & whatever the outcome we have a future together.

Hang in there, sweets, am with you all the way xxx

 

[book.fish2011]

Olga- i m so glad things are looking up hun, hopefuly you ll soon be at home resting and counting down to at least 37 weeks. The story of the lady next bed had me worried too but i so wish you log back in to tell us she s had a happy ending!!

BF- dont worry about weight gain hun, i seriously dont think it tell you anything...with ds i gained a total of 14 pounds (7 kgs) and with this one i am at 8 pounds...babies will get what they need from you, you just need to make sure you eat healthy for you!hope the thrush has gone away, last day of antibiotics for me today, yayayay!!

Thanks Christiana. I think you are right - your response made me think of something. Last time at 30+ weeks, I'd put on about 17 pounds total. My baby's weight was healthy. For just above 30 weeks gestation, he was 3.75 pounds. my OB asked me not to eat for 2 people or 3 people but just eat normally + a little more due to the risk of GD. Imagine getting GD now, in addition to all these things.

 

[kateqpr]

Jimmy!!!!!

SO good to hear you sounding so positive. What fabulous news you've had this morning. Just enjoy those glimmers of light that are beginning to show. They're the moments that will keep you going. And it's great that you have lots of support around you. it really makes all the difference between total abject loneliness, and loneliness you can cope with. I promise you that when you get to 28 weeks, you will both start to smile more. Old feelings and your old self will creep back. In fact, Andy pointed out that i made my first joke in, oooohh, 3 months at 28 weeks. I had had no sense of humour, no joy (which i promise is most unlike me).

It had been awful, a real dark tunnel, but i promise, as empty as it sounds to everyone in their second trimester, that the days do pass, night follows day, and as awful as it is to be wishing your life away, look ahead to the summer and picture yourself, happy, sitting on the grass, your usual self but with a small beautiful wonderful baby in your arms. Just try and focus on that future image, as that time is slowly coming.

Olga - are you being seen by Andrew Shennan? He's a professor at St Thomas's and an absolute gem of a man. He placed my first stitch and even though i'd had a private referral, offered to see me as an NHS patient instead if i gave a donation to the TOMMYs / preterm research and charity he runs. I also saw him again in this pregnancy, as i was under their Wed pre term clinic for a few weeks, until i suddenly needed my stitch placed as an emergency, but amazingly, was then being seen by his wife, who is the high risk consultant at my local hospital. And she is the female equivalent of him - really caring, clear in her explanations, and an absolute font of knowledge and experience. A good doctor can really make all the difference to how you feel, can't it?

Bookfish - i'm so sorry you and your husband are having so little joy in your lives right now. It is so tough, when your two roles as a couple are so obviously split, one sitting on the egg you so want to hatch for you both, the other doing all the physical leg work of cooking and cleaning. Being on bed rest is like being a penguin, sat for months in the dark, alone, keeping your egg warm while your partner buggers off to catch fish and swim. A weird analogy, but you get what i mean. But again, this is only temporary, and you're getting there, slowly but surely. And i'm glad your girl bits are feeling better now. Hopefully your new test results will give you some good news.

Christiana, you sound happy. And so glad you're now post 24 weeks. Yay for you!

Larockera - any news? Sods law i bet you go overdue now. Life can be funny that way... Love to you anyway, honey.

Now, i must get off this sofa and do something. I am a lazy lady at the moment. I've just walked Poppy to preschool. I am EXHAUSTED! It's the first time i've walked there in 4 months, and bed rest has left me feeling like a big pile of jelly with no energy or stamina. In fact when i got there, i had to stop off at Costa for a latte and some water to get the energy to get home again. I am no athlete at the moment!

XX

 

[chistiana]

Jimmy- great News about the amnio results!!!yayayyayaay i was sure! One obstacle out of the way, one step closer to holding your baby!!

BF- eeeeekkkkk dont even mention GD at this point...touch wood or something!my doc actualy told me not to gain more than 24 pounds in total (but that has to do with bu!) so dont think of it at all!!

Kate-thanks hun, i m trying to remain positive because even though my bed rest isnt as worry ridden as that of other ladies on this thread it is starting to have a toll on me. Unless i keep repeating myslef it is going to be ok i ll probably cramble down. And just since we spoke about it now, how long is it ok not to feel the baby move? I ve felt my bub move two three times since yesterday...isnt that a little too little movement?
Your latte and walk to school sounds like a tropical holiday to me!!when lo is here you ll have plenty of time tio tone up...running after poppy and lo!!!

 

[lizziedripping]

Hey everyone

BF - weight gain in twin pregnancy for me was odd. I had only gained a total of 34Ibs by the end, and 24Ibs of that was placentas, fluid and babies. My consultant explained that because the boys were so bug they had literally taken all my calories, leaving little for me. I was eating lots, but healthy stuff. By 32wks I had however lost my appetite but sill forced food down. The boys were still big and healthy despite my lack of weight gain, so I wouldn't worry too much about it hun x

JJ - lovely to get regular updates from you sweet, keep talking to us, it will help the time pass and keep your mind occupied x

Olga - phew, so pleased to hear you're ok and that you had a positive appt yesterday. I had a feeling that despite all your scary symptoms you might actually be ok in the end. Your doc is right, even tho you have a short, funneling cervix, this is by no means a sign you will deliver soon - and is more common than not in IC ladies, most of whom go on to deliver at term. Ptl is a seperate issue and no one can predict that happening or not, BUT I feel that your issue is purely IC and as such PTL is no more of a risk for you than it is for any other pregnant lady. Each week that goes by now, you should feel slowly more and more confident that you might actually go all the way this time hun.

As for the poor lady next to you, I totally sympathise - that was me with Evie, desperately trying to ignore my excruciating contractions so that they wouldn't deliver her. I managed to delay her birth for a week!! God know how. In the end she gave up causing me pain as a way out, and simply poked her teeny foot through my stitch - it was literally hanging out of me!! I could ignore her presence no longer lol. That girl wanted out!

I imagine at 25wks this woman's little one has a reasonable chance of survival and now begins the long NiCU journey for them Keep the faith tho Hun, her baby might be ok in the end - preemie babies are a constant wonder and surprise with how they respond to the challenges of their early birth. The distress her baby was in in the hours preceding delivery are actually a benefit to him - mother nature releases all kinds of additional hormones during preemie labour, designed to mature the lungs of preemies quicker than those of a full term infant. The longer the labour, the greater the 'distress' and the more potent the life -giving hormones for baby. I am convinced it's what helped Evie

LR, Helen, you both ok? X

 

[JimmyJam]

Pengiuns. King Penguins. That just the best analogy EVER! I am a King Penguin & my hips are sore. Just can't wait for winter to be over ...

Thank Kate. One step at a time ... Clinic tmrw to see how the amazing shrinking cervix & the bulbous watery poly are pogressing. I jet but am nervous ... Every day is a step closer ...

Hope you're feeling more energetic ... Like Chistiana says, yr stroll & a latte feels like a Vacation to me - but it's all about perspectives.

My hips hurt ... & I hate ted sockings! Just thought I'd have a grumble ...

Have a fine evening.

JimmyJam xx

 

[LaRockera]

CONGRATS to Jimmy and Olga for such great news! I'm really happy for you guys!

Kate, Lizzie and everyone else that thinks of me, a million thank you too! Your support throughout this has been irreplaceable, truly.

No news my end. I think my baby may have now gotten into position, as I feel her little feet moving around the middle of my stomach and not under my ribs as they used to. So she's probably turning, getting into position. I am seeing my doctor on Thursday.

The weather here has been quite unsteady, so I'm feeling as if ready for a cold one day and then fine the next. I'm only hoping my vic c and paracetamol attempts at preventing it will work, it wouldn't be too pleasant if I went to labour with a cold, although having reached that far, I'm thinking it won't be the end of the world anyway.

Lots of love to all, I'm always here, lurking.

 

[chistiana]

Hey larockera! Yayayayayay for little xanthe taking her place, she knows exactly what she has to do! So we might have some more exciting news on thursday...ouououou cant wait! Congrats hun, you re there already!

 

[HelenGee]

Aaargh- I have just typed and EPIC post and the sodding computer refreshed and lost it all.

And breathe!

Anyway, sorry for my absence, I have missed chatting to you all and I'm so relieved that you're all still baking away.

JJ- happy birthday to you! Sorry the wishes are late, but so glad the news is good for you, even though you are in hospital. Yippee on 24 weeks, even bigger cheer on the amnio reduction being a success and a bloody massive sigh of relief on the tests coming back clear.

You will find yourself and happiness again, I promise. As Kate said, it is a very dark tunnel, with what seems like an ever-moving light at the end. I didn't smile post-stitch until I went for my 28 weeks appointment. My consultant beamed at me when she saw me, and said how great it was to see me. I smiled back, then burst into tears, I found it so difficult to accept anyone's optimism and I certainly wasn't ready to showcase my own!

Matt will get through this too. It was a few months after Bella's arrival that it all came to a head with Darren. He just broke down. He had hated seeing me so helpless, when usually I didn't stop chasing around after everyone else, he was worried about money and he had a "flashback" to it all when I caught a vomiting bug. I was literally wiped out, on the bathroom floor, and he was shouting at me to get up because he couldn't bear to see me incapacitated again. Keep on hoping. You are doing so well.

Being in hospital is tough too, it's this awful goldfish bowl when you really don't want anyone to see you. It's exacerbated by the fact that the one person you draw support from isn't always there, and if they were, you might just get through with a little more positivity. sorry I haven't been around the last week. Keep on checking in xxx

 

[HelenGee]

Kate- so glad you're huge and uncomfortable. I never tire of hearing that Walking whilst preggers and especially after bedrest is like running a marathon. Thank heavens for cafes! It sounds utterly delightful. I adored the pictures of you and Poppy, what beautiful fairies you make. So glad you enjoyed her birthday, and you've made it so far.

LaRock- wooohooooo baby (as Oliver says!) so very excited for you. You'll be fine with a cold if you go into labour. You'll be well monitored. I can't wait.

Olga- how horrendous to have to experience another lady's trauma. I'm sure she was grateful that you were around (you can just sense the people in hospital who understand) and I hope that her baby will make it through NICU. It sounds like you will make it further than you expected too. 15mm isn't catastrophic you know. Keep on hoping

Bookfish- I wouldn't worry too much about weight. Don't forget that being inactive causes muscle wastage, leading to weight loss. I lost weight when I started bedrest, and at 32 weeks my bmi was the same as it had been at 8 weeks.

Christiana- so glad you're doing well. How's your little boy sleeping now?

Lizzie-thanks for asking, I'm ok, the troops are fine too. Hope you and yours are well. I feel really pathetic saying this on here in the midst of ladies who battle so much, but I am really struggling with work. As a staff we are essentially being bullied and beaten with the threat of ofsted, to the point where leadership staff are micro-managing us. They introduced a new policy last week of checking up on us and our work every lesson, which meant producing realms of data for the very next day. I have not been getting home from school until nearly 7pm on the 3 days I'm there and it's still not good enough. After I've put the children to bed, I'm marking until midnight, with the exception of tonight. It's why I haven't been on here in a while. It's killing me, I feel crushed by it all. I was in a heap on Saturday morning, I was exhausted and shaking with fear at the thought of going back into work on Monday and the unrealistic workload. As a part-timer, I am given the rough end of every stick-peripatetic, worst classes, always playing catch up with missed meetings. Sorry for the moan, I'm missing my children, and they're suffering from it too, Bella's sensing my despair nd has stopped sleeping. Just wish I could give it up, I feel like we've been through so much to get Bella here safely and now I'm letting her down as we're financially a bit stuck at the moment. It's not the end of the world, and I'll find a way through. Sorry, I'll get back to the more important stuff now!

Liven - how are you dong Hun?

 

[lizziedripping]

Like a twit JJ I had missed your post about the amnio results, and then was wondering why everyone was posting their congratulations about them What a numb nut! Needless to say, brilliant news honey - starter for 10 I hope

Sleep well tonight chick. You're right about midwives btw, a very mixed bag. In my experience they only ever really fall into two camps - the 'I want you as my second Mum' variety or....................the downright evil lol. If in doubt, Just check for a reflection - always helped me to clarify which camp they're in

Helen You are so lovely, but sound so fed up This might be a totally rubbish suggestion, but is it possible for you to make up the financial shortfall with some private tutoring in the evenings? Is there enough of a demand for primary level tutors at the moment to give you what you need? Just a thought so you could tell the 'bullies' to stick it!!

I feel so angry about the way you are being treated - they're pushing you to 'burn out', which is absolute stupidity on their part, not to mention totally our of order! Is there anyone you can talk to at school in confidence. Someone with whom you can share your concerns? I'd be tempted to imply that senior staff are inducing clinical stress in their workforce - might encourage them to back off. No decent head wants that on their conscience surely?

You should not be feeling like this about something which is after all meant to be a vocation hun. It is a basic human right not to be reduced to this when you are, after all just trying to earn a living for you and your family. As for the kids, you are a fabulous Mum doing your very best for those cherubs. They know that and only get upset because they can see that their Mama is stressed out. This is unfair, not right and needs sorting Helen love - talk to someone and get some support. You should not suffer for a moment longer

I feel useless except to offer you a sympathetic ear, endless rounds of hugs and a sounding board whenever you should need it chick. You are amongst friends here, and it always ok to vent if and when you need to. Take care, and please ask if there's anything I can do

 

[book.fish2011]

Hello all lovely ladies

Thanks Lizzie, Helen, christiana and everyone else for your comforting words about the weight problem; what you guys said makes so much sense. I will keep this worry for a little later, while now just trying to eat whatever healthy I can.

Lizzie, if you don't mind one question (may sound dumb , so pls forgive me). I read you wrote Evie's foot was out after a week's contractions. This was with your emergency cerclage correct? And you had the cerclage in place when you were going through those painful contractions? How did the baby's foot slip out through the cerclage? Am really really sorry, if am asking some stupid, rude questions. Am so clueless, that's the problem with me.

Helen, sorry about issues with job. They must be really taking a toll on you.

LR, good to hear baby is engaged. We are getting closer and closer to celebrations.

JJ, Chris, Olga, Liven - how are you all lovely ladies today?

Kate, your analogy is so perfect and magnificient. Cannot agree with it more.

You may see from my ticker that am touching 20 weeks today. Just 20 weeks ! I feel I've been like this at least since a few years. The past 20 weeks have been so slow. In fact, the past one and a half years hav been the saddest and slowest in my whole life.

The problem is, since I got preg with twins I ve read so many stories of twin losses occurring between 20 - 26 weeks. To me it seems like a killer phase - it's just waiting there to pounce on the unsuspecting woman. Am extremely extremely scared and worried about the next few weeks particularly. Making upto here was no joke at all, but I just don't know how to go ahead from here. I did listen to some ancient Indian spiritual scriptures, mainly to self help myself, but it's so hard to focus on it. Everything my h and I have is hanging on this pregnancy - the stress is so much. This is our reality and we have no backup plan if something goes wrong. I've never been through anything this cruel in life. It's so damn stressing.

So my today begins with some depression. Physical problems are complimenting it. Some pain deep inside the vagina (probably near the cervix) now and then, some strange abdominal pains, nothing unbearable that I should get up and go to the hospital but there are all lurking down there. In between I feel the little kicks too, of those two lives that am trying to grow and desperately bring to this earth healthy and alive.

Sorry for ranting so much. Looks like I've exhausted a week's quota of ranting.