Indecisive about number 3! Anyone else?

[Sofie2016]

Hi ladies

I am looking to buddy with someone in a similar situation and for advise from people who have been in a similar situation.

My beautiful girls are 2 and 3and a half, and for a while I've been thinking about wheather we should try for number three or not. I have such mixed feelings about this and I just feel that I'm just thinking too much!

Firstly, I am worried about changing things as my two are so adorable together and love each other to pieces. Obviously, a third child would change everything, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but will it change their relationships much?

Then there is the age thing. I know 36 isn't that old to try for a third but ideally, I would like to wait one or two years before trying - but then I'd get too stressed out about getting pregnant and other age-related things.

Another reason is that I feel like my youngest still needs me so much and I enjoy that and being with her sooooo much and don't want her to become upset or jealous if I had another baby. But obviously she would be at least nine months older than now. Any experiences with middle children on this subject are much appreciated.

DH and I agree that if it happens then it happens, and that would be great!, but we also agree that if we consciously tried, we would stress ourselves and each other out and become frustrated (like we were when we tried for my first daughter, that was horrible!).

So I'm not on birth control, but now I find myself either avoiding sex with my husband when I want it the most (defo around ovulation time, like NOW !!) or using condoms and then find myself regretting afterwards that we used one! I'm not sure how to explain this but its keeping me from having sex with my husband as often as I would like to (well, occasions are rare anyways, with the two girls around ;-)) . I just feel that I'm chickening out during sex instead of letting things happen. I then start thinking of all the "reasons" and more that I listed above.


Can anyone relate to this or to some of it? Does it make sense to any of you ladies?

 

[Angelbaby_01]

I have two girls ages 4 years and the other almost 17 months. We are not near trying for a 3rd if ever, but I am broody as heck. That said, don't think I would like to try in the next 12 months or so even if hubby is on board because I would like to spend more time with my youngest and get my body more in shape. We havent had the third baby talk yet although hubby knows how I feel.

 

[Ziggy2]

Yes I can completely relate to this, we have been back and forth for over a year but decided in Jan to just come of the pill and see what happens, I have some months were I am quite keen and others where we hardly DTD so unlikely to happen, this month I have bee. Quite keen and kinda feel like a really want it to happen, we have agreed to continue like this until the end of the year then if nothing happens put it down to fate and if if does then it was meant to be! I think all doubts will go away when a new baby comes along!

 

[Snufflepop]

Me! We have two beautiful children, dd is 2.3years and ds is only 5 months and I already feel broody for another baby. I'm a bit baffled as to why as we both said two was our max and there was never any mention of three from either of us but now I feel sad that there may not be any more babies. When I mentioned no 3 to DH he said definetly not but I'm pretty sure I could persuade him further down the line. Thing is if we did try I would want to wait at least until my current two are at school which means 4 years!!! That would put me at 35 ttc and I just feel like that is so old ( I know it isn't in reality). Ugh I don't really know what we will decide. I think it's partly me looking at it with rose tinted glasses that I would like to be pregnant/have a newborn again rather than actually wanting a third child . I guess only time will tell as the broodiness will either go away or stay put. It's so hard. I keep thinking of all the practicalities too like we have a 3 bed house so it's perfect at the mo but if we had another they would have to share rooms, we would need a bigger car, will be nice to have more freedom once out of the baby stage etc. Ugh, I don't know!!!

 

[lian_83]

Ditto.. DH and I both have just started new jobs, in fact I'm still an intern right now. So it will be at least a year before I get a permanent position. Plus, we are so busy with these 2.
I really want another one though.

 

[Mallerm]

I have two amazing kids buy I've always wanted three. I'm 100% sure I want another, but my husband is on the fence. He's worried about finances and time and I just don't think that this shold be deciding factors in our case. I'm pushing to start not preventing at the end of the year and see what happens. He definitely wants another kid, he's just scared about more responaibility, etx. I get it, but I also know that this feeling isn't going to go away. There's that saying, you'll never regret having another baby, but you will regret not having another baby.

 

[justplay91]

I want three, too. I think my OH would have 10 kids if I was willing, but I definitely envision us having 3. Our two are 15.5 months apart, and I am torn between wanting another close in age and just sticking with the two we have. We have decided to not try but not prevent starting around September when our youngest is around 9.5 months old. That way even if we did manage to find the time to DTD and somehow catch pregnant right away, we'd still have a slightly larger gap than last time. At our current rate, we only have sex like once a month so it's highly unlikely anyway!

 

[lian_83]

We are also dtd like once a week except when there is AF, then well skip that weekend. I think its unlikely well catch an egg, took me 5 years to get pg witb DSm but only 5 cycles with DD, but that is with charting and clomid.. but who knows.

 

[tobemum]

We were indecisive for ages about number 3 and it's only now that we have decided we want another one and our boys are 6 and 4 years old! They have a 22month age gap so this time is going to be very different!

 

[sil]

We have two kids, both boys, ages 3 and 11 months. We too are indecisive about the third. We keep going back and forth. Ds1 is nervous around babies and doesn't like change. Ds2 loves other kids and is very go with the flow. DH is nervous that he'll feel too old (even though he's only 32). However last night he told me to go get the Mirena out and make an appointment. Now that he got on board I feel nervous I wouldn't be able to juggle 3. Is 3 too hard? Is it pushing my luck? But something inside of me feels incomplete with only 2.

 

[Perplexed]

Hi there. I think the age difference between my kids are the same as yours, but mine are a bit younger. I understand where you're coming from completely. I'd love a 3rd child but currently there are so many reasons where I want to wait. Dh also is in the same boat, he wants a 3rd but also unsure if we should try now or wait. I am on BC but if I somehow find that I am preg (like this past cycle I messed up my pill schedule a little- but it was a false alarm) we would both be really happy but ideally we want to wait.

I feel my kids would be fine with another baby. They get really excited around other kids/babies. Between them there are some jealousy issues but most of the time they play together and are happy with each other. My daughter, as a baby, needed me a lot more than my son does now and I was already pregnant with him when she was his age. Things turned out fine.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm in the same boat. But I don't worry about dtd due to birth control anyway. And as much as we want baby # 3 it just isn't the right time right now... but of course, everyone's situation is different.

 

[Missy08]

Me!! Oh my gosh it's driving me crazy. Having #1 & 2 were such easy decisions that were just kind of "assumed". I always kind of assumed I'd be done after our second but ever since she was born, I've been debating having a 3rd. We currently have 2 girls (7 years and almost 3), and the decision to have a 3rd is a constant battle in my mind and I am always going back and forth. DH would be fine, I think, either way. On one hand, we are out of the diaper stage now, kids are sleeping through the night, it's starting to get easier to go places....do we really want to add a 3rd child to the mix? Then on the other hand, feeling of wanting to try again (possibly for a boy!) just won't go away. I also run a daycare from home now, which I didn't when our girls were born, so it would be so nice to be home with the baby and not have to worry about daycare.

 

[Jcliff]

I go back and fourth with wanting #3. My two babies are close in age (15months) so it's a bit crazy here! I think about adding another baby to the bunch and it makes me dizzy thInknj about it . Buy then again, i realize my kids are my world and reason for living!! Hubby pretty much said no #3 but he hasn't done anything to stop it! I'm thinking of trying but maybe in November 2017? (We have a trip to Disney in October and I don't want to be pregnant for that!)

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

Omg. I just made a post asking for advise from mommy's of 3+ lol. Third babies are clearly a popular topic lol. Ugh. 1 and 2 were so easy 3 is tough. In DH's fantasy I'd be preggo by Halloween but I just don't know!!!

 

[Princesskell]

I'm the same. Dd is 4 and just starting school and ds is coming up 2. This is about the time we got pg last time when dd was 2 but I'm just not ready yet?? I've always wanted 3 or 4 and I just feel someone is missing, I don't want the gap to be too big and I'm 35 so I'm running out of time, I'm panicking!!!!
I just don't feel ready yet but in one way I'm also trying to savour it if it's my last time? I love being pg and love newborns, just don't want the last time to be over!!
What to do!!! Xxx

 

[fuschia]

Feel like this is taking over my life at the moment !

I am literally 50 50 ! I'm finding it a really massive and tricky decision. I too feel like someone is missing but I also feel like we have an amazing family - it will be easier to stick with the two amazing kids I have and just run with it !

So hard !

 

[Jalanis22]

Hey ladies! Ive always wanted 3 but after my second labor got a little complicated and we werent sure if to try again but as of now we have decided one more wont hurt. My oldest daughter is 5yrs and my baby boy is almost 2yrs so i wouldnt want them too apart in age like my daughter and son.