Interesting article... ahem!

[yrose20118]

Hiya,

Just read this:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...tened-man-I-want-marry-loves-children-me.html

Interested in your thoughts on this!

xxx

 

[LilOopsy]

IMO I love my child more than my OH but it's a different kind of love.I don't blame him for putting his kids first... I do and so would my OH... If he didn't I'd be pretty shocked

 

[maisie78]

I can sort of see her point because the children aren't hers. To me I expect both myself and OH to always put Gabriella's needs first but can see why this wouldn't be the same for a new partner.

 

[kmbabycrazy]

I agree. He should be putting his children first and I'd be concerned if he wasn't. And I agree the love for my children is different. My OH could break my heart and make me fall out of love with him (I doubt it would ever actually happen but it's a possibility). I will always love my children no matter what and they come first every time!

 

[fidgets mammy]

Girlfriends can come n go for him, his kids however r his forever and should b his priority. Imo if u hook up with a guy who has kids be prepared to come second best. My kids cone before my hubby

 

[yrose20118]

I think love for a partner is conditional... love for your children is unconditional.

I love my hubby but my love for him is based on certain conditions - he doesnt break my heart etc... my LO however i'll love forever regardless and he will always come first.

Before we had LO I remember posting on here asking if your relationship changes etc when you have LO as I was worried hubby wouldnt love me as much or he would feel pushed out. However now LO is here we both know LO comes first regardless and we love him more then anything... i'd be hurt if hubby didnt feel that way.

I hate to say it but only a parent can understand that unconstional love...

xxx

 

[whit.]

Honestly I can see both sides. Obviously as a father his priorities need to be his daughters and I would be concerned as a girlfriend to a man who had kids, if his priorities WEREN'T his kids. But, she might have different feelings if he would allow her to be in both girls lives.

 

[omfgski]

.

 

[whit.]

I think one of the other issues with how much he was giving financially is because she mentioned she was supporting him emotionally AND sometimes financially. I still think if she had a better relationship with the girls or if the man would have even made her feel like a part of their life, her feelings would probably be different.

 

[omfgski]

.

 

[Redfraggle]

I'm not sure I would want to be with a man who didn't love his children above anything and made them his priority.

I do think he is breeding the resentment a bit by standing her up on special occassions, refusing to let her see the children and buying such expensive gifts that she needs to support him financially.

 

[Jess137]

My Emily isn't here yet so I haven't really bonded with her yet, but I can see myself loving my lo more than dh once she's here. I think it makes me sound bad though ..

 

[Fizzyfefe]

My parents always taught me that a person's priorities should be God first, spouse second, and children third. A husband and wife are one body, one flesh, and we are wives first and mothers second. They taught me that a successful parent is based on a successful marriage. So, it seems weird to me to hear that so many women put their children above their husband, or state that they love their children more than their husband. I don't have children, so I'm not sure if I'm correct in saying this, but I feel that the love that a woman has for her husband is different than the type of love that she feels for her children.

 

[Jess137]

I wasn't raised as, nor am I a Christian. I don't like the idea that a husband and wife become "one". It just bugs me. Like I said though, I won't know till my baby gets here.

 

[whit.]

My parents always taught me that a person's priorities should be God first, spouse second, and children third. A husband and wife are one body, one flesh, and we are wives first and mothers second. They taught me that a successful parent is based on a successful marriage. So, it seems weird to me to hear that so many women put their children above their husband, or state that they love their children more than their husband. I don't have children, so I'm not sure if I'm correct in saying this, but I feel that the love that a woman has for her husband is different than the type of love that she feels for her children.

I agree that the type of love I have for my husband is different than I have for my children. There is not one person (Even my husband) that I would ever pick over my children. I love my husband with everything that I have but there are surely things he could do to change that. My children however, I will ALWAYS love them unconditionally.

 

[Fizzyfefe]

I love my husband unconditionally, but I think that's a different topic all together.

When someone says that they would choose their children over their husband, what does that mean? In what situation would you need to do that?

In regards to the article, I think the man should have put his children first. But, the woman is not his spouse, only his girlfriend, and not the mother of the children.

 

[fidgets mammy]

I love my hubby but hes not my kids. I married him because i love him but blood is thicker than water, i could stop loving him tomorrow.(if he done sonethin bad of course) I could never stop loving my kids. They are my life! And forgive me if im wrong but children are children-young innocents, they should always come first even before yr hubby.

 

[Jaylynne]

Can't see the article, but after having LO, the love is completely different.

I thought before LO was born that I knew unconditional love. That I'd die for my husband (which I'd do) that I'd never love my kids more than I love my husband.

The love I have for LO is effortless. I don't have to work on loving him or wonder if the feelings I have for my son will change. I don't doubt my love for my son. There's no jealousy, no selfishness. Every time I hear him cry at the drs getting shots or when he's sick and having trouble sleeping; if there was a way I could take those for him instead, I'd do it. I just fiercely love my son to the point that I hold him at night to put him to sleep and I cry because I'm so happy I have him.

Loving a spouse takes maintenance. There's doubts, fights, low moments, money issues... It takes effort to keep the marriage in well oiled condition. And sometimes people change, or never should have been with the other in the first place. My love for my husband isn't unconditional. Not like my love for my child. If my husband beat me or cheated without recourse, I'd be done. If my husband hurt my children... It would be ugly.

So while I love both with my whole heart, my child is my heart outside my body.