Introducing myself/CSA help!

[ClairAye]

Hello everyone My name is Clair, I am 20 in a few months and I recently split up with FOB 1.5 months ago, to whom I have two children, Jason who is recently 2 and Lily who is almost 7 months old

Myself and FOB agreed to stay friends etc but days after we split up he went on a date with someone else and he has barely seen them since. He text me two weeks ago saying he was going to prove me wrong and be the man and dad he knows he can be, but since he has seen them a total of 3 hours. I asked him this morning if he wanted to see them but I got no reply and he was tagged in photos with his new girlfriend today. He's gone from being an amazing dad to this... He's very unreliable so will be phoning the CSA as I have only recieved £25 since and he has bought our son nappies and our daughter milk just once, I have just had to borrow money off my parents and I can't be in that position again. What generally happens with the CSA?

Thank you

 

[Mummy1995]

Omg hun I didn't realise!

CSA are now child maintenance. And you have to pay £20 to make a claim and then they take i think 4% off what you get but an extra about 20% off fob too, unless fob is willing to comply. Its a long process too but could have been due to my situation. They ask for your details, his details and your kids' details and whether they know they are the father, how much contact they have, if you know if they have a job. Xx

 

[MissMummy2Be]

Sorry your going through this

The process is probably different as im in Australia but child support her is based on the income on both parents and how often (in mine and your case) the father has the kids and it should be re-done every tax year. My FOB left me almost a year ago and so far has not had to pay anything as when he left he had no job now he is working full time so when he does his tax there will be back pay and a new monthly amount set up.

i would suggest making a call to find out strait from them

always here if you need/want to chat two kids close together can be a handful at times

xx

 

[Dezireey]

Just call them up and have as much details to hand about your ex, especially his job and where he lives. Unfortunately it can take a loooong time to get any money, if the FOB just refuses to pay or ignores CSA ( like my FOB). They have to go through lots of processes and procedures. Let's hope your FOB agrees straight away to pay something. Good luck x

 

[babycrazy1706]

Sending big hugs

 

[kirsteen]

Im so sorry Clair!
ring CSA, you will need FOB date of birth and address and also proof he is their dad (birth certificate)
they can take money straight from his account when he gets paid
how much you will get will depend on how much he earns xx

 

[Jade--x]

Hope you called them and got somewhere with your application
Just thought I would correct about the charges. You do have to pay £20 to apply, but you are given 2 options, Direct Pay and Collect and Pay. Direct pay they do all the working out and the father pays you directly, collect and pay they take it from the father and give it to you. You don't pay anything to use the direct pay (other than the application fee). You receive 4% less of you choose Collect and Pay and he has to pay 20% more.

 

[ClairAye]

I forgot about this! Thank you all

I know he'd have to pay them £58 and I would get £46 of that (well that's what I figured out!) as he should be giving me £48 a week. I will be getting them to take it from him as I just don't trust him, I got one payment since writing this it was £50 last week but he said he can't pay right now as he's not been paid, but if I'm right if I go to them even if he's not been paid they can just take it straight from his boss? I'm fed up not getting anything off him! He said he'd show me a bank statement showing he's not been paid then I can go fuck myself

 

[ClairAye]

What if I don't know his address?

 

[Mummy1995]

Just tell them as much as you can about him. They'll track him down xx

 

[ClairAye]

Thank you I know the area as he's in the same town, who he lives with and where abouts the flat is, I also know where he will be living with his girlfriend at the end of next month (yep, moving in already, aww and it's basically right across the road - woo!) but not the actual address!

 

[Mummy1995]

That should be enough I think what about where he works? They can track them down with just a name and dob just takes longer x

 

[ClairAye]

He works at sea but I know what boat he works on! I know everything about him like that, just not his address!

 

[Dezireey]

I didn't know ( and still don't know) my FOB's address as he has conveniently moved around and now I believe he is living with his new partner. But CSA told me they have a 'Confident' address for him, so they know where he is.

I think I may be lucky as my FOB has an unusual first name, so he was probably quicker to trace.

Hun, if you know his full name, date of birth and where he has worked before and any other small detail you can think of, they will do the rest, they don't need an address off you.

 

[ClairAye]

I'm sure they found him as they've not phoned back Mine has a girl's first name so not many of him floating about I gave his full name, DOB, mobile number, his boss' name, mobile number and the name of his boat so the woman was confident they could find him from that!

 

[surprisepg]

Good luck!

 

[ClairAye]

Thanks!

Does anyone know if I can get an update on things at all?

 

[Ceejay123]

.

 

[ClairAye]

Well for the first time in 3 weeks, yesterday he was them. He really seems like he's realised he's been a shit dad lately, well I hope he has!

They've not actually been in touch with him yet! 12 days since I phoned them.

 

[Ceejay123]

Any update love? CMS/CSA are usually quite quick to act (if they know where someone is and they're co-operative) x