Iresponsible parenting- skin cancer

[missk1989]

My OH is very pale and covered in moles. As a child his parents never put suncream on him went they went abroad even though he burnt every single time. Now as an adult he is at serious risk of skin cancer and im terrified. If he developed skin cancer I dont think I would ever forgive his parents. You could argue that they didnt know better but he is only 28 and i am 24. My parents always covered us in suncream so I dont think it is a lack of education just laziness.

 

[emyandpotato]

Although it's terrible if he does get skin cancer I think it's usually very treatable

 

[suzib76]

20 odd years ago my gran was still sunning herself in Spain 3 times a year and sleeping on the tanning oil, people really didn't know they way they do now. She is the complete opposite and barely let's the sun see her skin now. I wouldn't be angry at his parents over something which is potentially not going to happen, it isn't healthy Hun, just enjoy what you have rather than focusing on what could go wrong

 

[Yo_Yo]

I think people are much more aware of the dangers now. There's better education in it.

I'm 28 and used to sunbathe when I was 11 with my friends-stupid when you look back now.

 

[Abigailly]

While it's a shame. My husband (early 30s) is exactly the same. He's Irish (which just shows quite how pale he is) and he never wore suncream until he was 15 or 16. He used to spend the whole 12 week summer, from morning until night, outside in the fields. He still laughs now about peeling whole sheets of skin off his sun burn.

It wasn't because of laziness. It was because it was a different time back then. Sun screen wasn't as widely available back then, nor was it as effective. But mainly, they just didn't know the effects that the sun could have. It's not really their fault. And I think you're being a bit unfair on his parents. I doubt they'd ever set out to give their son cancer.

 

[RaspberryK]

It's hardly the 60's , I'm 27 and dh 30, we both had suncream, hats and shade.
I'd be furious.
Xx

 

[missk1989]

I know they wouldnt ever set out to cause any harm but I cant see how they wouldnt have thought to do something about him burning when it would have clearly hurt. There are pictures of me as a baby with suncream being applied to my older sister. He would have been about 5 so not much older. Both families are educated to the same level so im struggling to see how they didnt know but my parents did. Right now I dont blame them, they are very nice people. But i know if it did result in cancer i wouldnt be able to forgive them although i would never say anything to them about it. I would be the same if it had been my family and i developed skin cancer. I guess I just have to use my feelings as a reason to take precautions with my own son.

 

[lau86]

Idk, are they the sort of parents that are usually lazy with things like that?
I mean, I have olive skin but there are photos of me as a child looking very tanned. I also don't remember sun cream being applied when I was a child. We didn't go abroad till I was 7 though and even then it was only northern France. It may just be that they didn't realise??
I would just advise to keep a close eye on the moles. No point being mad at the parents what's done is done.

 

[curiousowl]

I think I have to agree with Raspberry. I'm 29 and I'm a redhead. My mom says I was almost translucent when I was born. They put sunscreen on me from the time I was an infant and I still wear it every day, at least on my face.

 

[Natsku]

I dunno, my parents always tried to put suncream on me but I still burnt so much. Also put up so much fuss that they probably didn't succeed as often as they tried.

Maybe they were people that didn't burn easily themselves so it didn't occur to them to apply suncream?

 

[Kate&Lucas]

It's a bit of an odd thing to get angry about. I mean it's not as if they set out to give him cancer, they might have just been forgetful, or not considered it a big deal. It's not exactly child abuse. I know parents who refuse to use sun cream full stop, there are people who believe it causes worse damage than the sun.
As another PP said, if he does develop skin cancer in the future, luckily, it's very treatable.

 

[Bex84]

Im 29 and have pale skin, even when i did have sun screen i burnt every summer. Alot of my friends never had sun screen put on. We were outside constantly. I wouldent blame parents as i dont think it was widely thought about. I remember having blisters on my back from being burnt and that was with sun cream. My fil at that time was using cooking oil in order to tan and they are educated. They cant go back and change it and as long as good parents in other ways you cant really judge. Your oh just needs to keep an eye on moles. I know quite a few parents of people my age who thought you need to toughen up skin by not using it. My lo gets sun cream on as she is pale like me and oh and i can burn through factor 50 so im careful with her skin. My parents wernt religious with putting sun cream on us but they were good parents and i wouldent blame them if i got skin cancer

 

[Caite]

I never had sun cream on as a kid - I don't think it was encouraged then as it is now (and I'm 27). Not everyone sees it as important. I don't. I never really use sun cream now, and I'm quite pale and burn quite easily.

 

[Eternal]

My oh is similar, he is obsessed with sun screen on himself and the kids. He gets really upset as his sister, who never outs cream on the kids and the kids are always sporting very dark tans, she says they don't need shade or sunscreen because they don't burn ... In contrast my kids are super pale.

 

[missk1989]

Idk, are they the sort of parents that are usually lazy with things like that?
I mean, I have olive skin but there are photos of me as a child looking very tanned. I also don't remember sun cream being applied when I was a child. We didn't go abroad till I was 7 though and even then it was only northern France. It may just be that they didn't realise??
I would just advise to keep a close eye on the moles. No point being mad at the parents what's done is done.

He says so. He often comments about there lack of interest. His mum denies it though. He told me that when he was at school instead of reading his school book with him his mum sent him to bed and said she would read it and tell him about it in the morning.

 

[Yo_Yo]

Sounds like there's more an issue of the parenting he recieved as a child, than just the sun cream.

He sounds like he's still carrying negative feelings to bring them up all these years later.

Maye he ought to ask his parents about these things to try and understand their logic? And to explain he felt a lack of interest?

 

[Dragonfly]

I rarely put sun cream on mine where we are, we dont get a lot of sun never mind hot summers ones. If its a blazing day and we are out long they get it. Vit D and sun exposure you need but in moderation not enough to burn you and if you have fair skin like mine some sun cream is needed. My dad had me covered in factor 50 here all the time. I did tan when I was younger anyway.Now I just burn. If I was in a foreign country they would get sun screen for sure. A higher factor. I think letting your kid get burned is really bad. A lot of kids get rickets too due to too much sun cream.

 

[Bex84]

Sounds like there's more an issue of the parenting he recieved as a child, than just the sun cream.

He sounds like he's still carrying negative feelings to bring them up all these years later.

Maye he ought to ask his parents about these things to try and understand their logic? And to explain he felt a lack of interest?

i would agree with this. I would say his resentment is over something more than sun cream. What things did his parents do with him. My parents were never ones to do homework with us and past a certain age read school books. They did alot of other things with us, we all did well at school, they came to see school concerts, took us for walks etc... If i asked for help with homework i would get some but they were never the parents to sit us down as soon as we finished school to do it with us. I read my little girl bed time stories every night my parents didnt for us. They wernt lazy , just a product of how they were bought up. I have made different choices but does not mean i look back and blame my parents for their decisions. What was his childhood like as a whole, did they take interest in his interests, spend family time, make sure his needs were met, were they loving? I think maybe he needs to talk to his parents to let some of the resentment go

 

[MissRhead]

My son has really olive skin, he spends all summer out in the sunshine, I never cover him in sun cream, he will have some on his shoulders if it gets really hot and I try to get him to keep on a cap and he stays really well hydrated. I use baby oil to tan myself which obviously is bad lol but I never use sun cream on myself x

 

[minties]

My MIL refuses to put sunscreen on my kids, and rants at me when I do. All be ause she read they will have a huge vitamin D deficiency and diiieeee. Ugh.

They both have tans so I guess they get enough sun to not die a horrendous deaths like she predicts.

She bakes herself out in the sun for hours even though she has skin cancer on her hands.