Irrational fear of Infertility?

[xstitcher87]

Very quick background:

• Mum had problems falling pregnant
• My sister has had 3 miscarriages and now secondary infertility (If I believe her, that's a long storyin itself)
• My other sister has a condition making it necessary she will have to seek fertility treatment if she wants children
• I have had recent surgery Hysteroscopy, Polypectomy and D&C
• Letter from my OBGYN says I have a cervical ectropin
• Letter from my OBGYN says I had a thick lining (especially considering all the hormones I was taking, regular pill plus extra progesterone)
• Follow up appointment with OBGYN isn't for another 2 weeks

My OH and I are planning to try in January 2016 for baby #1 and I am absolutely terrified of being infertile or miscarrying multiple times. I had a panic attack last night because my body physically aches for a child but am terrified it will never happen....At the same time, I feel like I'm worrying for nothing! We have no idea until we actually try and stressing about it is only going to make everything worse.

I am also so sick of waiting!! I WAITED to get diagnosed with the polyps, I WAITED for my specialist appointment, I WAITED for the surgery and now I'm WAITING for the follow up appointment, I am WAITING to find out if I got promoted, my interview was over 6 weeks ago! I am WAITING to TTC, because January is the best time.

I sound like such a whiner and last night I seriously could not stop crying, it was ridiculous! I ended up taking the day off work today because I didn't sleep much at all.

OH and I are both 27 and apart from the polyps I've never had and menstrual issues, even as a teenager I think my cycles were around 33 days..which I think is normal...

I should just be patient and wait till what the OBGYN has to say in 2 weeks time, but that just feels like an age at the moment.

Does anyone have any tips for quelling anxiety?

I've had depression before, and I know my self care plan for that, but anxiety is a little different. I can't wait for tomorrow evening as I have 3 hours of ballet class and it will be a very physical class. In the past, this has been a cure for my depression, it is almost like I dance the bad emotions out and free myself. Weird I know.

 

[stefdan]

Hey, calm down and relax, everything will be just fine. Every thing happens for a reason. We need to accept it and embrace it. Besides, there are still lots of ways to deal with infertility problems. I understand the frustration, the struggle, the pain... But please don't let your emotion affect you. Be positive, and have hope! Believe me, you are not alone. You have us here!

 

[xstitcher87]

Thanks stefdan

I think I just needed to rant it all out! Ballet class was exactly what I needed and I feel a bit better, still a bit anxious, but the wait for the OBGYN appointment is getting smaller and it helped to sit down and make a list of all the questions I want to ask her. Helped to organise my thoughts and really focus on the core things I was worried about. Hopefully she has some good answers for me.

My husband was super lovely as well, he talked some sense into me and worrying and stressing is only going to make it all a self-fulfilling prophecy, I'll be so stressed that I can't conceive that I won't!

Making sure I get in regular ballet classes and work on my hobbies

Thanks for replying, it helps so much to know that people care enough to leave a note

 

[gigglebox]

Deep breaths! Anxiety is the worst, way worse than depression if you want my personal opinion! Sometimes it helps to write it all down. As you sort through those feelings, you begin to realize how illogical they are.

If your doctor hasn't suggested you'll be infertile, I wouldn't worry about it. Even if they do say it, take that warning with a grain of salt. They always have to tell you the worst, but it doesn't mean you should expect the worst. I have an abnormal shaped uterus and was told I may have trouble conceiving and I will probably have a breech baby. I got pregnant immediately and baby wasn't breeched. I also had complications during pregnancy and doctors told me i'd probably miscarry, and that I only had a 15% chance of a healthy and normal child. That high risk baby is now a happy and healthy 3 year old.

Try not to stress

 

[stefdan]

Relax and take a deep breath! I read some article and want to share with you that emotion is going to affect your fertility. So please calm down!

How Do Emotions Affect Your Fertility
The emotional impact of fertility problems

 

[xstitcher87]

Thanks again stefdan I am actually a lot calmer now. My OBGYN appointment went fine and she was really optimistic. We've decided to start TTC in December.

Fingers crossed!

 

[gigglebox]

Yay! It's so exciting to have a date to start trying. Congratulations!

 

[xstitcher87]

Thanks gigglebox! I just need my General Practitioner to sign off now, but I have that appointment scheduled for next week. I had full blood work done 6 months ago and everything was fine, so I'm not anticipating too many changes, except for maybe my vitamin D is still a bit low, but I'll be starting a pre-pregnancy multi vitamin in 6 weeks so I am not too worried.

Starting to get really impatient now!

Still a bit worried, but I am definitely trying to stay positive and the fact my OBGYN waved me off the other day saying "see you in February" made me feel a lot more confident.