irritated with hubby.

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive #1' started by xsugarplumx, Oct 13, 2013.

  1. xsugarplumx

    xsugarplumx Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if any of you girls deal with this, but since it's mainly ME that's not able to get us pregnant right away, and it's ME that has to be on medication, and it will be ME having a bump for 9 months, and pregnancy symptoms, and finally pushing a baby out I feel its more me doing all this, and when I mention that, hubby just gets mad and is like, 'Its my sperm!' And I just think, yeah you get the easy part!

    Now he's out smoking a cigarette cause I irritated him.. and I don't know, am I in the wrong?
     
  2. ERosePW

    ERosePW Well-Known Member

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    Hey Hun, I just thought I'd respond to your post, as I know how stressful it can all get, and I totally get the tension you're dealing with. I've been ttc for 11 months, and just started Clomid this cycle. I agree that we do feel like it's mostly us that's doing everything, and the hubbies sometimes have a difficult time fully relating (men!) ;) But ya know what... If it starts to get to me, I just push those thoughts out of my mind, because indeed, it IS the women who do most of it, BUT... its really pretty much just the way nature intended, lol! It's just what we do as women, and it's not really our hubbies' faults that they're made different. We have to do the things we have to do and our hubbies are there to cheer us on and support us. In fact, I feel fortunate that we're the ones who get to experience the miracle of pregnancy (once we get there!), so I'm happy to have my hubby's role just be to provide the sperm, and show his love and support. :) And if I've learned anything over the last 11 months, it's that he is much more supportive and loving if I'm not mentioning how unbalanced our roles are, hehe. After all, there's nothing he can do about it, right? I just know its stressful and emotional ttc. I'd hate for you to be adding any additional stress to yourself unnecessarily. Xoxo
     
  3. xsugarplumx

    xsugarplumx Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, it is stressful, and sometimes it just frustrates the hell out of me it just can't be RIGHT now, and I can't give him the baby he's wanted since last Christmas. Now I do have the appointment set, and something WILL happen. It just frustrates me, because one of the things women were made for.. isn't so simple. I'm afraid he'll leave, and find some other woman who's so fertile she just has to look at a baby. I don't know. I know he'd never do that, cause I'm the light of his life and vice versa.. it just frustrates me. I want so much to give him his baby.. and it just saddens me I can't as easy as other women..

    I don't know. I'm glad we're getting in the right step of things. I just get emotional. Haha. Thanks for listening..
     
  4. Pearly86

    Pearly86 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Dear,
    Really u do not need to feel this way at all, First thing is that if we are nt yet successful in having baby its nt us who are to be blamed..cuz it takes two (we and our hubby) to make it so how can u think f urself to be so alone in it..if it happens isnt that both f u are gonna share the joy of it?? so shouldnt be same when its nt happening ..u really really do not have to feel this way and feel urslf alone in it..
    Our part in concieving is indeed so much but than its really nt possible without them .the love support and care they give makes the whole journey so much better and worthwhile!!
    we have our hubbys who are so supportive and m sure urs too.and when its life which has been shared together be it success or faliure its got be shared together!!..when successes are celebrated together than why arent sorrows shared??

    so really if its in ur mind abt all these things that ur all alone in it, its only u who is feeling down..its really nt true hun, ur hubby must be feeling it too.and he is just there to support u and be there for u always!!..but then u knw its gonna happen and only U both can make it happen so why not cherish it..frustrations do come and it will pass by do not worry !!..just let those frustration be the passing thing..cherish the moments f togetherness and afterall its that moment wch brings out the gift of our life which is a baby!!..

    m sorry of explaining so much dear but m sure its gonna happen hun to all f us !!pleases please do not blame urslf tht ur nt able to give him a baby plse take this thing completly out f ur mind..its gonna be fr both f u and its gonna happen from both f u !! so live love and laugh!! GL dear!!
     
  5. ERosePW

    ERosePW Well-Known Member

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    Yes, that was well said, Pearly86.

    And xsugarplumx, please don't think that we aren't understanding where you're coming from. I go through my moments of being emotional, and since I'm 4 years older than my husband (I'm 37), I have let my mind drift to thoughts of whether it would be easier for him if he had married someone younger instead. But as soon as I start to think those things, I push them out of my mind immediately. If I allow any insecurities to get to me, it's only going to cause tension between us. That's the last thing we need when TTC. The next time you start to feel like that, just remember what Pearly86 said about how we are in it together with our men, and they love us unconditionally. There's no need to blame yourself. Just taking a look at all these boards makes me realize just how common is to for women to have difficulty getting pregnant. It certainly isn't as easy as I always thought! :) Heck, I spent years on birth control, trying to prevent it! Little did I know! ;) Anyway, there's no need to have arguments about things that are out of your (and his) control. Arguments cause stress, and stress can wreak havoc on your body. Sounds like you're going to the doc and taking that first step, so I'm sure it's gonna happen for you soon! I just went to the doc last month, and started the Clomid this month. I just started my 2WW today, and I'm trying not to get my hopes up since it's not that common to concieve the very first month on the meds. But I feel good that i took that step, and i'm that much closer. :) You will feel the same when you walk out of that doctor's office. HUGS
     
  6. Pearly86

    Pearly86 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks dear !! I wish both f u really gud luck towards the first step u guys are taking in it!

    In one f the post a lady said ..do not stress over ths too much cuz statistically..by the time its next year the same month u wud be either pregnant or having a baby !!
    just think abt that ..hw cool is that ..next year same time we wud be discussing our baby..so lets nt be worried and lets just take things as it comes and look for the solution to it and month may pass but it will pass taking steps towards it and over an year we will achieve it..
     
  7. xsugarplumx

    xsugarplumx Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the input ladies! I of course would NOT be doing this without my wonderful husband. He's what keeps positive thoughts in my head. It's just slightly frustrating. I had a downer day yesterday, but feeling MUCH better today. Just excited about my appointment. Don't know what to do for 3 whole weeks! I'm hoping to be conceived by our first anniversary. That would be the BEST gift to give to him. Or even better, be conceived by Christmas. I know that's highly unlikely, but one can hope right??


    Thanks again ladies!!
    xx
     
  8. Baby_Do11

    Baby_Do11 Member

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    Hi there xsugarplumx I know exactly how frustrating it can be and I can definitely see where you're coming from especially as my oh used to smoke alot and only recently have I managed to get him onto those ecigs to get ourselves healthier whilst we try for a baby and with him working alot too, it puts strain on our relationship because I'm more than willing to bd every night but hes always tired or working and I'm on pre conception pills+omega 3 and the oh always forgets to take his multi vitamins so it seems I'm putting in all the effort at the minute. :wacko: just gotta hang in there and try not stress altho yea, easier said than done
     
  9. xsugarplumx

    xsugarplumx Well-Known Member

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    It's a long haul, but we can do it! I'm feeling very positive today. xx
     
  10. ERosePW

    ERosePW Well-Known Member

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    I'm so glad you're feeling so much better! Good luck at your doc appt in a few weeks, I just know everything is going to go great. :) xoxo
     
  11. Hoping4aBoy

    Hoping4aBoy Well-Known Member

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    No you are not wrong. I feel the same way sometimes.
     

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