irritated

[confused2011]

While I can understand most people are entitled to their opinion, I do believe that to a certain extent, some things should just be left to your thoughts. While I realize that it was just over a week ago that I delivered my precious Daymian still born, I am ready to move on and I am looking forward to trying again as soon as possible. I understand that some people need more time than that and I have so much respect for that. I lost my son to getting sick with paravirus B19 and the information I have received on the virus, has given me great relief that Daymian went as peacefully as he went. If I had to endure what I endured to insure that my son didn't live a life full of heartache and illness, then I would do that a hundred, heck a million times over!. I had posted on my wall yesterday that I was anxious to be able to try again and someone had the balls to tell me that no human ever could be mentally ready to endure pregnancy again and I remember sitting back just in disbelief that someone really felt that they knew better than I do about my mental well being. I have had two ectopics and a still birth since September of 2011 and each time has made me mentally stronger and for some reason led me to finding peace in what happens. I feel very strongly that there is a reason for everything. I know that physically it is a no go as far as getting pregnant right now, but I am honestly hoping to begin trying in November.

 

[sharan]

Hun, I would first like to say im so sorry about your recent loss.

in regards to the others; I would ignore what they say. Only you know when you are mentally able to try and again. I lost my son 7.5 weeks ago and I was ready to start again almost immediately both mentally and physically. The fact that I've chosen to delay it has nothing to do with either of those reasons but due to my own personal circumstances.

I too received the negativity from people when I mentioned trying again as soon as. Some people told me to wait 6 months another said 2 years!!! To hell to them....I know when I'm ready to try again!

So what I'd say to you is ignore them and do what you feel best xx

 

[mhazzab]

Urgh...I'm not surprised you are annoyed! I was ready to try again within days, for some people it's just what you need to do...nobody knows how you feel...even if they have also been through a loss they still can't tell you what's right and wrong, everyone is different.

We didn't tell anyone we were trying and nobody dared to ask.

Ignore them all and do what feels right to you xx

 

[confused2011]

That's pretty much what I have been doing. Im going to wait for at least one cycle if not two and then try again. Its what I feel is best for me.. The hardest part I am having right now is the whole aspect of not being pregnant. I am just frustrated that I was 3 months away from having that baby and now I am waiting to try again.. Thank you girls.. You guys have really been amazing for me and even tho I have never even met you in person, I feel so deeply connected to all of you

 

[Stardom]

Confused2011, same for me. I was halfway through my pregnancy and now I have to start all over.. The morning sickness and breakouts, unwell during first trimester. One doc told me to Wait 6 months, another say 2-3 months. I just done with second cycle and is going to ttc again. I totally understand the anxiety.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so very sorry for your loss of Daymian. I also agree when you feel ready you should start. But one thing I have to say and it is this, it has been 1 week for you and I know for me it took about 2 weeks to finally hit me that I lost Ava and I had no idea the reality of this loss, I thought I would try again right away also, but for me it was not that easy. I think those that are making these comments are maybe just wanting to make sure you are mentally ready and not rushing into something not realizing you are actually grieving. Of course it is your choice and you know what is best, but I do think they are well meaning and maybe just looking out for you. I am glad you can go forward so quickly, for me I could not. This loss really killed me inside and it took me almost 2 years for me to try again and for me that is really bad since I am 42. It probably wont happen for me because of my age, but I am ready to give it a try and see. As long as you know yourself then you do what is best, but i think these people are well meaning, it is none of their business but I guess close friends and family sometimes make it their business . I wish SO much love and luck . XOXOXOXOX

 

[confused2011]

There's something about Daymian's passing that brings me peace. Especially knowing he could have been very sick. I am going to wait until at leas ta cycle or two.. Talk to the doctor, see what she says. Mentally I have been through so much in my life so it does take alot to knock me down. The first four days were devastating. And Ive said it before but Daymian will always be with me in heart and soul.

 

[jessandaj]

Im sorry for all your losses I dont understand why people think that the way they feel dictates what everyone should feel like. Some people are ready for there earth baby and that keeps them going and they wanna try again and know that they are being watched over by there angel babys and they find strength in that and want to try again soon after. There is nothing wrong about it nor is it mentally unstable to get pregnant again, everyone is different. Sending you tons of babydust and prayers, good luck.

 

[confused2011]

THank you so much! That's exactly how I feel. I know my body and I know my mind. and I know for a fact that it would do me more mental damage to put off trying.. My son just had another emotional breakdown today saying he miss daymian. It breaks my heart... The thought of us trying again brings a smile back to his face and it just makes it even more important to me.. My husband was home for it today so I think he is officially on the same page of me which honestly makes me wanna do a little dance lol..

 

[Mahoghani]

It's been only 3 days since giving birth to Silver. And while I don't know yet if I want to try again, I completely understand why you do. If I didn't have my eldest I think I might very well be feeling the same way. I don't think that people make those comments intending to hurt or offend you. Best intentions so often have the wrong result. They just don't understand. No one can until they've lived it and by that I mean been in exactly your shoes, with your mind and your body and your unique circumstances. If this week has taught me anything it is that people can and will say the wrong thing. They will misunderstand and they will be unintentionally hurtful.

Personally I am so impressed with your strength and bravery. And if you feel ready to try again that is exactly what you should do. I'll be sending you all the positive energy and happy thoughts that I can muster.

 

[confused2011]

Thank you very much..Im so sorry for your loss. No words can describe what we go through. My youngest doesn't understand which kinda makes me sad, one day he will know who Daymian was. I try to learn from every experience and while I am sad that Daymian had to go on, I know that it was for the best. I have an awful feeling that this winter is going to be rough, so if I hadn't lost Daymian, he would have been sick and probably had a very hard time this winter.. I wait til the day we meet again. I absolutely cannot wait to try again. 6 weeks to go

 

[nicksi27]

Im so sorry for your loss - only you can make the decision about trying again and when you go through a loss like this, you realise how insensitive and rude some people are. Its like people think they have the god-given right to tell you how you 'should' feel, they have no idea and should keep assumptions to themselves. i lost my jacob at 20 weeks and knew i wanted to ttc again straight away but we couldnt because we had to wait 12-14 weeks for blood test results and it was hard. Im determined to have a baby at home so knew that ttc was the only option no matter how hard it. Wishing you lots of luck when you starting ttc again and love to you and your little angel. x

 

[confused2011]

I am currently in the waiting to try forum.. anxiously counting down the weeks til I can begin to try. My husband and I want to start mid november but I still have to run that by the doctor at my appointment this month on the 15th.. Im really hoping she is ok with it.. Get my nerves going, just thinking about it.

 

[nic0le]

i am personally thrilled to hear you are strong enough to try again so soon. that is so encouraging to hear after what we have gone through.

it really is amazing how some people just do not have a filter, and will just blurt out whatever they feel they should.

your determination to have a baby is what will prove you are a great mother from begining to end. i wish you all the best :*)

 

[confused2011]

Thank you so much.. Like I told my husband, I have gone through way too much to not have a baby in my arms at the end of all of this.. I am just really nervous as to what the doctor will say when I do.. Im just praying she is on my side and is willing to allow me to try..