Is anyone here not used to being around babies?

[belladonna]

The reason I ask is that I saw my oh's uncle & aunt yesterday that have an 8 month old girl and I was so nervous about holding her! I was worried in case I dropped her or hurt her.

I've never really been around many babies as although I have a large family I'm one of the youngest and I'm an only child.

I felt so happy though when I saw my OH holding her, he looked so happy and at ease and I know that he will make a fantastic Daddy

Will I still feel the same when I have my own? I really hope not, I don't want to be scared of holding my own child.

 

[magicvw]

I was like you! You'll probably feel a bit nervous at first, but you have to do it so many thousandsof times a day it soon becomes second nature! Really there's nothing to worry about xxx

 

[Caterpiller]

Hi Belladonna - I know just how you feel - I am 35, an auntie four times over, and I have never changed a nappy or fed a baby - can you believe it. I get really nervous around other peoples children, and am not comfortable with them. However, the idea of my own doesn't phase me.

You'll be fine!

 

[BritAcrossSea]

You're not alone. I'm an auntie (of 3) and when I first held my niece I was petrified but I did notice that come #3 I couldn't wait to grab a hold. Saying that though, I was completely different with my DH's nephew and again was too nervous to hold him. I'm sure we'll all be fine when it comes to our own babies though 'cos we'll get lots of practice.

 

[mikababy]

Babies are actually rather robust little creatures from what I'm told. When I'm out in rural Asia I'm always amazed at how the babies are squashed flat against the Mothers with a big 'papoose' material thing, and then they just get back to work!

Having said that, I'm rubbish with babies under 6 months, as I always think they're heads are going to drop off if I don't support them properly!

My DH is always so comfy with babies. I think it just takes practice.

 

[claire911]

I've never changed a nappy either! All my friends have babies and I just seem to have gotten away with nappy duty. I get scared if a friend comes at me with her baby but I think it'll be different with our own

 

[mikababy]

All my friends have babies and I just seem to have gotten away with nappy duty

I've never done the deed either!

 

[magicvw]

Don't worry girls! I had never seen a nappy close up - had no idea at all! But by the end of the first day you will be a pro - believe me!

 

[lili24]

I'm the same! I've not been around many babies at all, if I am holding someone elses baby I don't feel comfortable! I've never changed a nappy or fed a baby! God help me when I have my own, lol. I don't feel nervous about it though for some reason! I'm sure we will all be fine with our own xx

 

[glittermummy]

Oh I have 2 nieces and a nephew and a couple of my friends have babies. Ive changed so many nappies i cant count same with feeding. I had OHs little niece for 3 days about a month ago on my own n managed fine. its my own im nervous about cos i cant hand them back to their mummy when theyre in a bad mood and ive run out of entertaining ideas lol!

 

[DragonMummy]

I'm an only child and none of my mates had kids when I had Harry so I don't remember ever doing more than having a little hold with a baby but when Harry came along, I'd known him for months already. I actually recognised him when they handed him to me - I could have picked him from a room of a thousand babies. So straight away I was comfortable and completely at ease with him. Sure we had some challenges later on but even a professional child carer would have struggled. Yeah you may know what makes 3000 babies stop crying but that doesn't mean it will work with yours!

It's a total adventure of trial an error. There are times when you think you are the worst mother in the world and you just want to run away. Then there is the day that you get it right first time, and in front of your mother-in-law who tried all the 'old tricks' and failed!!! No-one knows what theyre doing and if they tell you they do, theyre lying! If your mates seem confident and all knowing with their kids thats only cos you caught them on a good day. A tenner says that half an hour before they left the house they were sitting on their beds crying and rocking backwards and forwards!!!

God I sound like a fecking patronising old cow but I'm not trying to be. I struggled badly with PND when Harry was born and a lot of that is because I thought everyone else was coping better. They weren't, they'd just put make-up on before they left the house.

 

[belladonna]

I'm an only child and none of my mates had kids when I had Harry so I don't remember ever doing more than having a little hold with a baby but when Harry came along, I'd known him for months already. I actually recognised him when they handed him to me - I could have picked him from a room of a thousand babies. So straight away I was comfortable and completely at ease with him. Sure we had some challenges later on but even a professional child carer would have struggled. Yeah you may know what makes 3000 babies stop crying but that doesn't mean it will work with yours!

It's a total adventure of trial an error. There are times when you think you are the worst mother in the world and you just want to run away. Then there is the day that you get it right first time, and in front of your mother-in-law who tried all the 'old tricks' and failed!!! No-one knows what theyre doing and if they tell you they do, theyre lying! If your mates seem confident and all knowing with their kids thats only cos you caught them on a good day. A tenner says that half an hour before they left the house they were sitting on their beds crying and rocking backwards and forwards!!!

God I sound like a fecking patronising old cow but I'm not trying to be. I struggled badly with PND when Harry was born and a lot of that is because I thought everyone else was coping better. They weren't, they'd just put make-up on before they left the house.

I don't think you sound patronising at all!

I'm glad Im not the only one who feels like this, Ive never changed a nappy and Im so scared that Im going t break this tiny little delicate baby- even though its the thing I want most in the world.

 

[Kris]

Once you hold your own child, it is completely different. You are overwhelmed with love and your motherly instincts will kick in!

I was worried sick when i was pregnant with my first but the minute i saw her and held her, i was over the moon and it al came naturally

 

[Nel.B]

I often thought the same thing. I feel so uncomfortable and awkward arounds others babies/children but kind of just know I will be fine when it comes to our own. I wouldn't have the first clue on even how to make a bottle and sometimes think if I don't even know that, what good would I be at being a mother. Everytime I hold a baby they cry! But I just know that I will be comfortable and confident with our own. What else can you be?!?!

 

[Megg33k]

I haven't had a lot of experience with babies... especially newborns. I'm an only child, and my 2 younger cousins were born to the aunt and uncle I saw the least. Of my older cousins, most of the babies were on my dad's side that we don't see often. On my mom's side, I have an older male and female cousin (siblings). I was hardly ever around his daughter when she was born... I was 19, married with a step-son, and having a hard time of life. When his sister has her little boy, I was already living 250 miles away. We saw him as much as possible (a few days a month), but there was a lot of traveling on their part as well to see his paternal grandparents. So, we missed out on a lot of newborn time. I was petrified to hold him the first time I saw him... about 3 days old, but BIG for his age. LOL He was born over 9 lbs. Still, I was petrified! He's 4 now and growing way too fast!

A couple of weeks ago, she had #2... a beautiful little girl. When we went to see her at 8 days old, I had no hesitation in scooping her up and changing her and rocking her to sleep. I was holding her in one arm, leaning to get a diaper (nappy, I guess) with the other all while still trying to bounce/rock her! I was hoping that it was a good sign that "motherly instinct" was kicking in... but if you follow my story at all... probably not the case.

My sociology professor in college was talking about bringing her first child home from the hospital. She said that her and her DH carried him in, gently laid him in the middle of the bed, looked at him and then each other, and they said... "What do we do now?" I think its perfectly normal!

 

[magicvw]

^^ that was us too! (What do we do now?!)

Just wanted to add that for some women the motherly instinct doesn't kick in the moment you hold your baby. It didn't for me, I wasn't overwhelmed with love. I'd had a c-section and I had her for 2 seconds and fell asleep! I didn't really truly feel the motherly connection for several weeks, and I'm not ashamed of that, it's just how it worked for out for me. But, I still had to do all the other mummy stuff, breastfeeding, nappies baths and so on, and I don't believe those things are instinctive at all! You just have to learn them pretty fast, and after a short time it feels like an instinct because it's so easy. But to imagine you get home from hospital with some sort of instinct of how nappies work is hilarious!