Is anyone here ttc BECAUSE of their age?

[AliGirl]

Hi. I thought I would ask this question - it may be a little controversial - but I was wondering how many people on here felt like they were ttc now because of their age.

Don't get me wrong, dh and I very much want to have children. However, we have only been married for a year, and we are having a blast. If I wasn't 40, I probably wouldn't have wanted to be trying for a baby so soon. I love our life at the moment - we love to eat out, enjoy fine wine and have great holidays. I would love to be able to do this for a couple more years before really getting down to ttc and having the responsibility of becoming parents.

Unfortunately time is not on my side, hence why we are going for it now. Just wondering if anyone else felt the same way. Xx

 

[Jolinar]

I'm sort of in the same position with wanting a second child, I don't think its controversial its a very real and valid concern.

Things are just settling down after a job change, LO is sleeping though and we have a great routine. I'm scared about what work will say if I get pregnant. I'm worried about disrupting our routine. We'll probably need to look at getting a bigger house, bigger mortgage and so it goes on but unfortunately I don't feel like I have the luxury of being able to wait much longer to start TTC as I am also 40 and can almost hear the clock ticking away. The other things I can reclaim at a later date though, completing my family has to take top priority due to my age.

to everyone!

 

[Natsby]

Yeah I think we would have waited a bit longer before starting ttc, we had only been together a year or so when I got pregnant the first time, but two mc later we are still together and I think it has made us stronger and more determined, well me anyway. If he could have put it off for longer my OH would have done, but I have always been clear that isn´t an option.

 

[onmymind17]

No not for me, for me it was that i did not find my dh until very late, before that the weenies i was with i would not have wanted to get pg. I did not get married until i was 40 and we started TTC right after the wedding, i guess partly becasue we, mostly he wanted a baby and partly because we were older and did not feel like we could wait, fast forward to almost 4 years and we are still in the same position lol.

 

[Macwooly]

I think I'm in a similar position to OMM in that it was late in life when I met my DH and I am so pleased I never had children with my exs.

We've been married 4 years next month and both knew we wanted a family together but due to me having episodes of struggling with depression we haven't been able to try consistently for the whole 4 years.

I must be honest though if I had met my DH earlier in life I probably would have tried for a family with him back then

 

[sarahincanada]

honestly, if I had time, I would wait 5 more years before TTCing. hubby and I have been together 9 years, but we have such a great life full of our careers, travel, doing what we want when we want. Ive never had that huge urge, but always wanted children 'at some point'. so I do feel we are trying now as I dont want to miss our chance, but ideally I would wait if I had time. we did a big trip to australia last year as a big trip before kids, but theres so many other places Id love to visit.

someone once told me to try sooner than you want, I wish I had done that now I realize it can take time. also I think once you have kids all the feelings of wanting to travel and no time for yourself will vanish and be overshadowed by the love!

 

[onmymind17]

I think I'm in a similar position to OMM in that it was late in life when I met my DH and I am so pleased I never had children with my exs.

We've been married 4 years next month and both knew we wanted a family together but due to me having episodes of struggling with depression we haven't been able to try consistently for the whole 4 years.

I must be honest though if I had met my DH earlier in life I probably would have tried for a family with him back then

Oh for sure, if i had met my dh earlier in life we would probably have 3 or 4 kids by now, but everything happens for a reason right?

 

[Macwooly]

I am a great believer that things happen for a reason

 

[Indigo77]

honestly, if I had time, I would wait 5 more years before TTCing. hubby and I have been together 9 years, but we have such a great life full of our careers, travel, doing what we want when we want. Ive never had that huge urge, but always wanted children 'at some point'. so I do feel we are trying now as I dont want to miss our chance, but ideally I would wait if I had time. we did a big trip to australia last year as a big trip before kids, but theres so many other places Id love to visit.

someone once told me to try sooner than you want, I wish I had done that now I realize it can take time. also I think once you have kids all the feelings of wanting to travel and no time for yourself will vanish and be overshadowed by the love!

Ditto

Ditto

Ditto

And....

Ditto

 

[onmymind17]

honestly, if I had time, I would wait 5 more years before TTCing. hubby and I have been together 9 years, but we have such a great life full of our careers, travel, doing what we want when we want. Ive never had that huge urge, but always wanted children 'at some point'. so I do feel we are trying now as I dont want to miss our chance, but ideally I would wait if I had time. we did a big trip to australia last year as a big trip before kids, but theres so many other places Id love to visit.

someone once told me to try sooner than you want, I wish I had done that now I realize it can take time. also I think once you have kids all the feelings of wanting to travel and no time for yourself will vanish and be overshadowed by the love!

See i do admit, thats how i get through the thought of never being a mother, i tell myself we can go on cruises, and go to amusement parks, and pick up and go whenever we want, and i would so love to go on a caribbean cruise again, i really want to see Aruba and Tahitti, i just love the blue water, it really amazes me, living all my life in Chicago, we dont have water like that, heck all we have is flat land lol. So either way for me i guess its a win win, at least thats how i try and look at it.

 

[AliGirl]

I know exactly what you mean sarahincanada. Oh to have the luxury of 5 more years.

There are so many places I want to go to. I just reassure myself and hope that I will be one of those parents that will just take our kids with us. My parents did it and we travelled the world with them, so I just have to think that our kids will fit in with our lives and not vice-versa! Xx

 

[sarahincanada]

I know exactly what you mean sarahincanada. Oh to have the luxury of 5 more years.

There are so many places I want to go to. I just reassure myself and hope that I will be one of those parents that will just take our kids with us. My parents did it and we travelled the world with them, so I just have to think that our kids will fit in with our lives and not vice-versa! Xx

yes I think because I dont have kids and havent experienced that kind of love, I still think of things like travel and missing out on things. but I know that all that will seem so insignificant when I look at my first child. and you are right, we will just have to be travelling parents

 

[NorthStar]

Great question AliGirl

Myself and OH have been together 2 years (known each other 16 years), I've moved back to the UK with only a suitcase and now I'm starting to re-establish myself careerwise and financially.

Our jobs aren't all that baby compatible, he works offshore and I travel heaps with work.

Ideally I'd wait another 2 years, maybe get married, certainly be 100% settled and maybe look at changing roles first BUT I don't have time on my side.

But I'm glad I didn't have a baby in my twenties with my abusive ex, I finally feel like I've found someone who accepts me.

 

[BridieChild]

I did have a baby with my ex in my late twenties, DD is now almost 8. I've always wanted more than one child, and I was starting to worry b/c I was single for a lot of her life. The other issue is that my family go through early menopause so I really only have five years of fertility left. Thank God I met DH when I did!

 

[virginialove]

I feel guilty saying this but I can agree with you. DH and I have been married for 1 and 1/2 years and we are both 36. We love our life right now. We definitely want children and if we were younger, we would be wait and enjoying being married first. But because of my age, we gotta think about the biological clock every month. Nowadays, society puts so much pressure on career first and less on marriage and children. 4 years college, 4 years of post grad school, 4 years to meet someone... your're almost 30 yo. Add a few years of dating and engagement and you get to my age... 35 on the wedding day!!!

I just put so much pressure on myself to get prego that i am driving DH crazy. It seems everything in your life is perfect.... except......

It really makes me quite sad sometimes that something that is suppose to be so easy, is such struggle and challenge for me.

Good luck to everyone and baby dust to all!

 

[GMATP 2011]

AliGirl, great question! I can relate to all these posts! Career, freedom, travel, fine wine, eating out, wishing more time was on my side, etc. I just got my first bfp only a week or so ago (sorry, I am still lurking here, can't seem to leave bc ttc for about 2 years) and all these thoughts still enter my mind. I am praying that the love ahead is as overwhelmingly awesome as I am expecting and many of yesterdays luxuries are insignificant and not missed. And, the ones that still are important become part of the family life too! Everyone here, know that you are all in my thoughts on this journey!

 

[velo]

If I was younger I would probably wait a bit and do a big travel adventure first. Yes its possible with kids but the logistics are totally different. But now if I'd known it would take so long I would have started a little sooner. (we started trying after our wedding, but I might have pushed that back a couple months before had I known it would not be so easy!) Anyway I joke with my DH that if we're not pg by Sept I want to go on a month-long honeymoon (we never took one when we got married) Of course there's the logistics of trying to get time off working. Maybe the LO would be conceived on the honeymoon!

 

[RacyRaspberry]

We are TTC because of my age, I just turned 40 last week, my DP is 34... :woop:

We dated 11 years ago but it didn't go anywhere, we met again last year and practically got engaged straight away, we have been together a year and we are not wasting anymore time

 

[lisap2008]

We started TTC right way due to my age of 38 when we met ,It put alot of stress on our marriage very quick especially after we got a BFP and m/c then I was even more obsessed with wanting to make it happen again.

 

[Seity]

I didn't meet my OH until later in life and didn't date him until many years later. We got married just before I turned 35. We didn't want to get PG right away, but after a year of being just the two of us we felt it was time to TTC. Now that we have our LO, I'm glad I didn't meet my OH until later in life because we never want another and now I don't have very many years of having to be careful before I hit menopause. So, age did factor into our not waiting longer to TTC, but was only part of it. I knew I could easily have waited another few years if we hadn't felt ready (fertility is not a problem in my family).