Is he just lazy or could it be much worse ?

[Jkelmum]

Jake is turned 13 in october is in yr 8 at highschool
Last july while lookin for his trainers i stummbled across at least 3 wks worth of mouldy sandwiches I asked why he hadnt been eatin his pack up and why he hadnt put them in the bin to be told I start playing football and forget ....Now Jake at home eats loads all his meals veg u name it he will eat it so at this point i tend to believe him.....So as it was only 2 wks left at school i made him come home and eat his lunch then when they went back in september i did the same until oct half term in which by this time he was beggin to go bk to school for lunchtimes ....I spoke to him and even said if u dont eat then throw them away if u fancy school lunch one day then ask .....Move forward to about 4wks ago Jake was upstairs with his friend and i find half pk of cookies i ask where they came from and he says there his friends and they been sharin them so i leave it at that until i see this friends mum who informs me jake had about 5 pounds worth of crisps sweets cookies and doughnuts and she saw him eat loads ...so i confront jake for lyin to me he admits they was his and he had used some of his christmas money to buy them so i ask wtf does he need all these he says all his friends put to to get loads and that then chris his friend came out and doesnt get on with these boys so he went of with chris ,......i left it
Tonight i went searching for a pen in his school bag to find loads of mouldy sandwhiches and dont know what to do also broken glasses that dont look like they was broke my accideint ...he claimed they was in his locker at school
I now am worried he may have a eatin disorder ....not eatin lunch and bingeing on food are the only two signs i have BUT why else would he leave them to go mouldy i know it maybe laziness BUT after getting caught b4 i dont think he would dare again or is this a cry for help
any advice would be great

 

[Pyrrhic]

From what you've posted it doesn't sound like he has an eating disorder, but just likes eating junk food over sandwiches and buys them when he has the chance. He probably fills up on junk food then doesn't want his own lunch. Is there any way to stop giving him money so he can't buy it?

 

[Jkelmum]

He only gets his money once a month which he tops his phone up and pays for his football club he doesnt have much spare ....the only reason he had 5 pound was he had sneaked it out of his christmas money

 

[Jkelmum]

The thing i dont get is when i first found them back in july i maybe wrong in what i said but i told him when i was his age and not in mood i used to just throw them away ...so why doesnt he do this and safe himself gettin into bother iykwim

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I agree with Rafwife. When I was in Junior High School, I skipped out on lunch a lot-most of my friends didn't eat and I didn't want to be the odd one who eats (yeah, sounds stupid now lol) or if they did eat, they would get junk from the cafeteria, and of course, again, I did the same thing. I would suggest talking to him about how he is allowed to have some treats, but make his portions normal sized ones, so he doesn't get unhealthy, and that it is important for him to eat his lunch as well.

 

[Jkelmum]

At home he eats breakfast lunch and tea all normal sizes and tends not often to have much in between ....maybe its cos iam strict with sweets and crap he is hidin it i dunno

 

[Pyrrhic]

Theres always room for sweeties though! I always manage to squeeze dessert in somewhere, even if I'm not hungry.

Boys can be quite mucky too. I have two brothers and growing up their rooms were disgusting and my Mum regularly found food rotting under beds, in cupboards, etc.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

At home he eats breakfast lunch and tea all normal sizes and tends not often to have much in between ....maybe its cos iam strict with sweets and crap he is hidin it i dunno

It is definitely a possibility that it is because of your strictness with sweets. When I lived with my adoptive parents, they were very strict with sweets, and I snuck around to get sweets-only problem is that I over-indulged in them-just because I was not allowed them often, and did not know when I would have them next. Sounds like a similar situation to your son's. I understand having a limitation on sweets, but I think that there has to be a happy medium allowed, because otherwise, a child will go other places to get their sweets... Just my opinion though!

 

[Jkelmum]

Theres strict and theres strict iykwim... I allow sweets just not on a daily basis but probably 2~3times a wk

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Theres strict and theres strict iykwim... I allow sweets just not on a daily basis but probably 2~3times a wk

I get what you mean... it is just so hard to determine how much should actually be allowed, but maybe he feels like he isn't allowed enough? What is a typical lunch you would pack him for school? Do you add things like cookies or pretzels to his daily lunch?

 

[Alexas Mommy]

found this site-it may help...
https://parentingteens.about.com/od/nutrition/ht/pack_lunch.htm

 

[Jkelmum]

Theres strict and theres strict iykwim... I allow sweets just not on a daily basis but probably 2~3times a wk

I get what you mean... it is just so hard to determine how much should actually be allowed, but maybe he feels like he isn't allowed enough? What is a typical lunch you would pack him for school? Do you add things like cookies or pretzels to his daily lunch?

Sandwich ...crisps...kitkat or simlar and yoghurt and apple

 

[Alexas Mommy]

hmm, that's not a lunch I would throw away Another thing to consider, is depression, or boredom. I have dealt with a lot of depression in my past, and sometimes I turned to food-I gained 40 pounds in 4 months when I was 15-I just wouldn't stop eating junk, because it was the only thing that made me feel good.

If that isn't it, it could be that he eats when he is bored, and really doesn't realize that he is doing it. My OH used to do this.

Hope you figure something out