Is it a bad idea ?

[Laura--x]

I didn't want to put this in the teen section because i want older women to give me their opinion.

Is it a bad idea to want your own place at 17? Atm i live with my mum and dad and matt lives with his, but matt stays here most times. My room is tiny so for when the baby comes we have decided we are going to convert the front room downstairs into a living/nursery space for us and the baby. Its not a huge room but its an ideal size for us and baby. The thing is, when the baby is here i know we are going to be jumping from house to house. I want to live here, but of course matts family is going to want to see baby and we are going to stay at his some nights too, i suppose i don't mind, but i think it just messes things up.

I think things would be so much easier if we had our own place, do our own things and have our own routines. But i know for a fact when we are jumping from mine to his house, it wont stick. I don't want my baby to be having to sleep in different houses all the time, i want him/her to have their own house, their own space and so on. It makes it harder when matt and his brother share a room, and his brother already having a baby of his own! We'll be having to arrange times and dates, see when his brothers girlfriend and baby dont stay over so we can, and i really dont want that!

My mum and dad really don't want me to move out, and matt doesn't either. I'd just feel so much more comfortable in my own house, i could do things my own way without my mum and dad or matts mum and dad in the way, we could feel like a propa family without having nan and grandad in our faces all the time.

Does anyone understand what im saying? I know people say moving out at a young age is a bad idea, but i really would love to

 

[Blah11]

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting your own space but I think you should wait and see how you do once LO has arrived. I'm sure it's stressful enough with a newborn without having to do all the little things your mum does around the house. If you manage after a few months then you can always get a place of your own then

 

[Blah11]

I still live at home too btw but my bf lives here and we're just waiting on the goahead from our bank then we'll be buying a house

 

[Laura--x]

Yeah i see where your coming from, but i do all the housework anyways so it wouldnt make a huge differerence!

The only thing i worry about is leaving my baby with my oh and his family. Theres a thread in the girly section if you want to read, but basically i HATE the way she brings up her younger child, and i am no way on earth letting my baby in her house without me there!

x

 

[Angelface]

i still live at home, with my other half, admittedly we have more room than what ur describing, but i dont plan on moving out until i know we can defo afford it, and i know me and LO has bonded, My mum is great with babies so that helps alot, im sure ur mum wil love to help out too x

 

[Blah11]

Yeah i see where your coming from, but i do all the housework anyways so it wouldnt make a huge differerence!

The only thing i worry about is leaving my baby with my oh and his family. Theres a thread in the girly section if you want to read, but basically i HATE the way she brings up her younger child, and i am no way on earth letting my baby in her house without me there!

x

Why would you leave your baby with her anyway?

 

[Laura--x]

If i want to go out, get my hair done or anything like that, oh will have him/her and he wont have him/her at mine, he will take him/her to his house.

 

[Pyrrhic]

Have you ever lived on your own before, or ever been responsible for paying rent, bills, etc? It is a big shock to the system the first time you realise how expensive things are.

Your age certainly isn't an issue. Plenty of people move away from home between 17 and 18. I got my own flat at 17 and loved it. I paid for everything myself and it really taught me independence.

I would say that if you feel you can afford it, then go for it. Have a clear budget though, and make sure you can cover all your expenses. Costs vary around the country, but here in Yorkshire:

Rent for a two bed flat: £600 a month
council tax: £120 a month
gas & electric: £75 a month (varies on how much you use it!)
phone: £30 a month
food: £100 a month
internet: £20 a month
travel: £50 a month

If you think you can afford it, and it's something you want to do then I would do it sooner rather than later. That way you can get set up before the baby arrives and get a handle on how much things cost. If you struggle, you can always go home before the baby is born.

 

[ChloesMummy]

If you can support youself then go for it! I found living with my parents and my LO really hard and i was only there for some of my Mat leave. Think about it carefully though, go in with your eyes wide open like the other girls said, think about the cost off bills and kitting out a new house. Good luck x

 

[mrscookie]

i got my own flat at 17, rented and it managed just fine, but I didnt have a baby to think of. My rent was £360 a month, and had a cute garden too. It depends how many hours you work, i have been in fulltime employment since 16 so I could afford to do it, but if you and boyf are not working, its not a great idea.
Im suprised your not trying to get a council place.. thats the route that some take with a baby, you could always try and get on the list?
were not on the list to be honest, we wouldnt qualify, plus the council estates in our area are a little dodgy, i'd constantly be checking out the window for my car LOL! But there are plenty of lovely places you can get.
Im still renting at the moment, we have a 3 bed house. We see no sense in mortgages right now, we were offered one for £850 a month pay back on a 135k house... just not something that is feasably possible financially with baby on the way. Good luck babe and I hope it works out great for you, do whats best for you
xxx

 

[Laura--x]

Yeah you girls are right.

It proberly wont happen for ages because oh doesnt want to move out anytime soon ! and i definately wouldn't on my own, guess we'll just have to see how it goes

x

 

[xXDonnaXx]

I'm exactly the same hun. I still live with my parents, brothers & sisters. And OH lives with his mum, brother & sister.

I'm 20, OH is 19. I don't work. OH is doing a I.T course - working from home. So we don't have alot of money. We have recently put our names down on the council list. But it doesn't mean we will get property straight away - We won't.

So I'm having to do the same as your going to be doing. Tooing-&-frooing to eachothers houses. It's not something I had planned, but there's nothing we can do about it.

If I was you, I would put your name on the council list. (..just so your on the list, cause it can take years) & just take every day as it comes, like I'm doing. I'm sure it'll all be fine. x

 

[Laura--x]

Yeah im going to put my name down next week, ive heard its years waitin list too !

Thanks 4 ur help girls x

 

[missjacey44]

Well.. I dont see anything wrong with wanting to live on your own, but its not just about being able to do housework for yourself! Even if you was given a council place tomorrow, Its still alot of money! If you are working, you still have to pay rent. Gas&electric & water charges which can be quite alot. Even a tv licence..! Everything adds up! Let alone having money to furnish the place. I got my council flat 2years ago when i was 17, i was working at the time but i still needed help from family to pay for furniture because the place didnt even have flooring down, it was dusty concrete and i know most council places (here anyway) come like that!! But if i was having a baby at the time, I know i wouldnt of been able to afford most of the furniture and stuff because i would of had baby stuff to buy. So you've got to look at it that way, it could end up more stressfull than your current situation. Its not easy unfortunatly =(

 

[Charlotte-j]

if u can afford a place then go for it
if u can't tho, u can go on a council list, it will be a long wait tho, cos my friend is preg and she has a 2yr wait atleast here, so if thats ur option do it soon as poss cos it takes ages

 

[elm]

It's worth having a look at the housing associations in your area too - they have different criterias for priority around here (one list we're on give you points and another is based on how long you've been on the list). The rent is lots cheaper than renting privately and we've been able to specify which areas we'd live in for one and the other send us a list of houses and flats every two weeks to 'bid' on (if you want any you put your name down then it goes to whoever has been on the list the longest).

Is it possible that you OH would still go to his mums though even if you had your own place? Might be worth checking out if that's the main reason for wanting your own place.

I'd say get your name down on some lists anyway - you can always change your mind later and if the lists are long you might be desperate for somewhere to live once you get to the top of them.

x

 

[cybermum]

If you are both sure you can budget ok then go for it.
I was living with hubby (then OH) when I was 18 in a studio flat and with baby until he was 6 months old,we then moved into our first house.

It wasn't easy financially but we were and are so happy and I went with my gut instinct.

Best of luck hun xxx

 

[nataliecn]

it's really hard to say..
financially, it's much better for you to stay at your parents. it gives you and your OH a chance to save some money for when you are ready to be out on your own, and everyone is in agreement.
but at the same time, some people are just better on their own. i know that as much as i'd love to be living at home again, paying minimal, or no rent, it's a lot to have parents around. i'm terrified about my mother, and even more so my mil preaching to me about how i should raise my kid..
but it is a lot of money to be on your own, and you said your OH doesn't want to move... so it's probably best to stay put, and you guys can start saving for a place so that you can be a family and bounce back and forth.. but remember, even if you do have your own place, i bet both parents are still going to want to see you lots...

i think, it's probably best to stay put for now.. but again, that's totally up to you hun!

 

[faille]

Just wanted to mention as well that it's not just the monthly costs you've got to consider when renting... it's the deposit. Even when we started to rent our flat (which was only a one bed), it was over £1k deposit and the house we're renting now was about £1500 so it is a lot of money. And then you've got to find rent for the month in a couple of weeks time too. The initial costs are a lot, like others have said, you've also got to think about furniture, tv liscense, connection charges for bt and internet, the list seems never ending!

But if you can afford it and you're confident that it's what you really want then go for it hun. Although I can't help but think you'd be better off staying put until LO is here as these things always seem to fall into place once it's actually in the here and now.