Is it possible to find out the sex for yourself but NOT tell your husband?

[moopsie]

He wants to keep it a surprise (which is really weird considering he's the one who always wants his ducks in a row), I WANT TO KNOW. We will be TTC#1 in January, and I would like to know before we conceive (if we can) how I am going to handle this.

Is it possible for me to find out and keep it from hubby so I don't ruin it for him? He says I will for sure blurt out "he" or "she" and ruin it for him -- but if I don't even tell him that I found out the sex, I think that would be easier for me to not let him know. Or is that crazy?

Also, what would I do about a baby shower? There is NO WAY all my friends and I can know without hubby hearing about it. Is there a polite way to request gift cards so that I can pick out the girly/boy stuff on my own and then keep it hidden from DH?

I would probably tell this forum, which DH is never on, and possibly my mother, because she will want to make a quilt for the baby. She can keep a secret.

Thoughts? Suggestions? He won't even meet me halfway and do a sex reveal shower or anything. His thinking is that we can have the baby at the hospital and then call his mom who will go pick up girl or boy things.... YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!

Since we want more than one child, we would probably get some gender neutral things like carseat (not to use past expiration date of course), crib, baby bouncer/swing, etc. But I'm not getting red/yellow/brown everything else!

Let me know what you think. Thank you!

 

[mad_but_glad]

Hmm it would be tricky I think.. What about the nursery or babes clothes? Wouldn't he eventually see them?

I would try to bring him around to your side... I didn't want to know but my fiancé did and he convinced me to find out. Now I'm obsessed with knowing. Lol

 

[moopsie]

As of right now I am not planning on actually creating a nursery, but maybe I would want to when/if I actually become pregnant. We haven't got money for paint and accessories. I am actually leaning toward having a mini crib in our room if I can get hubby to move his monstrous old computer out...

I've heard that people have done this successfully (kept it from their hubby so he could have his surprise)?

I don't think he will ever come around to my side. He is extremely stubborn. But so am I!

I'm not that picky about how the baby's room or crib looks -- I've never been very materialistic, and I'm not afraid to get second hand things for the baby either. But I think it would be -easier- to pick up some second hand things for lower prices if I know that I want girl or boy clothes. Those don't take up much room and I don't think they'd be hard to find, especially if I kept them in the trunk of my car or at a friend's house where he would never look! I basically just want to know if this is complete insanity... has anybody tried this and failed? Or tried and had success?

 

[Gizzyy]

I was going to suggest that the sonographer could maybe put the gender in an envelope so your hubby would still be able to come to the scan without it being blurted out. It will be very hard to hide a baby shower however..lol! Maybe have everyone buy neutral stuff still and just keep a few gender appropriate outfits hidden for when the baby is born.
Oh and it would probably be best not to tell too many people incase they start referring to baby as 'he or she' infront of your husband

 

[moopsie]

I decided to just let him have his way. I found enough cute unisex baby stuff to be happy, part of me was really worried that baby shower people would have nothing to buy because at first I couldn't find anything that was gender neutral and not just yellow ducks. Now I have found a lot of cute white, grey, red, green, and brown stuff, with sheep, frogs, birds, and ducks.

I guess this way we will have outfits that can be passed down from girl to boy or boy to girl if that happens. My friend also told me that once people know the baby's a girl or boy, I'll get slammed with tons of gender specific stuff once baby's born anyway.

Thanks for the advice. I'm still a little upset that he refused to compensate when I was trying to think of every possible way to "meet in the middle" but now I am starting to appreciate the idea of waiting to find out.

 

[onceisenough1]

If you are going to tell that many people i dont see how you can keep it quiet. Maybe only tell a few close people?