Is university with a baby achievable?

[Ella]

So I went to a Uni Fair on Weds and I fell in love with a course.. At University College of London like over a hundred miles away from home.. and Alex.

I woul be doing a degree in Italian (I did get an A in it at school!) and it would mean spending my third year away in Italy, either at a Uni over there, teaching or at a work placement.

Alex & I are hoping to have a baby on the way in the next year, and regardless of the course I choose.. Is a degree really achievable with a young child?
xx

 

[littleladym]

Well, I am in my final year of a language degree and me and my partner have been together for nearly 5 years. We have talked about having a baby very often, but have waited as I feel it is better to get my education out of the way and then concentrate on my family.

I have found my language degree very difficult and would not have wanted the added commitments of raising a child on top of all that. Also, the year abroad is a very difficult emotional experience, or it was for me, especially if you have a lot of things going off at home. That is just my opinion though!

If you wanted a baby whilst doing a degree, I would recommend the open uni, as at least with that you can work towards your goal at you own pace.

Just an example, but before the aster holiday I had 4 essays and 2 exams in one week, and then in the next couple of weeks I have got 7 exams and more coursework due in.

 

[littleladym]

Sorry I also meant to say, sorry for souding negative; its great you are so in love and want to have a baby, but I just feel that sometimes, taking to huge steps in your life like that at the same time can sometimes have unwanted consequences!

 

[4magpies]

You have to think practically... what are you going to do with the baby/child whilst you are away for a year? Is your other half going to take a year off work and look after him/her? Or will your little one be in childcare? I would say wait till after uni or do an open university course.

xxx

 

[pichi]

i would say that if you plan to go to uni and plan on getting your full degree it will take all your attention. in the later years of Uni you'll find the workload increasingly harder and plentiful. you will then have to attack a dissertation no doubt as all uni courses usually entail some sort of dissertation. this is a BIG workload. for example my dissertation consisted of 2 practical projects AND a 20,000 word write up/analysis.

you also mention that you may have to go abroad? this could also cause a difficult decision if indeed you had a little one.

i've been to Uni and am so glad i have my Hon's and am now pregnant other than falling pregnant and having to struggle through having a workload as heavy as that!

 

[Ella]

Thanks for the replies

I don't think it's a good idea, I just wanted to see others' opinions
I think (well, know) that having a baby is going to win, in this decision.. I didn't really seriously consider going to Uni anyway until I went to the Uni Fair and I don't wanna be struggling with paying off student loan, uni fees etc. for years after I finish anyway.. I definitely want to be a mummy before that!

Thanks for helping me get it crystal clear in my head though
xx

 

[pichi]

remember though - would going to uni , getting a better payed job than a 9-5 on minimum wage be a better option than setting up camp so to speak and settling just making ends meet?

at least if you were to go to Uni and to get a degree that degree would never disappear and you have that achievement in order to find a better job meaning a better all around financial situation for a little one? (not to say people don't manage on minimum wage! just saying 'what if')

just thought i'd put that out there. i'm just not wanting you to make a decision which will change the rest of your life because you are broody (believe me i know the feeling! hehe) not saying you're making the wrong decision either mind you! just giving my perspective.

I mean i've just turned 23, my OH is 26 and we feel that although we weren't actively planning for this wee one *pokes tum* we will manage because luckily he is on a good paid job and me just being out of uni - i am still more than capable of finding a well paid job after coming off maternity leave because i have that degree and it's not going to disappear on me...

 

[Ella]

remember though - would going to uni , getting a better payed job than a 9-5 on minimum wage be a better option than setting up camp so to speak and settling just making ends meet?

at least if you were to go to Uni and to get a degree that degree would never disappear and you have that achievement in order to find a better job meaning a better all around financial situation for a little one? (not to say people don't manage on minimum wage! just saying 'what if')

just thought i'd put that out there. i'm just not wanting you to make a decision which will change the rest of your life because you are broody (believe me i know the feeling! hehe) not saying you're making the wrong decision either mind you! just giving my perspective.

I mean i've just turned 23, my OH is 26 and we feel that although we weren't actively planning for this wee one *pokes tum* we will manage because luckily he is on a good paid job and me just being out of uni - i am still more than capable of finding a well paid job after coming off maternity leave because i have that degree and it's not going to disappear on me...

I know what you're saying but I'm currently doing at BTEC National Diploma in Childcare which will qualify me as a Level 3 - I could be a nursery nurse/TA/child support worker - not exactly minimum wage

I'm at placement atm with a SEN teaching assistant who has a degree in textile design, and is renting a house, which is lovely, but not hers. She doesn't regret doing her degree, but says a lot of people she went Uni with are still paying off their loans and are in debt etc. whereas if I got a full-time job and my OH is taken on full time (he will be on £10 an hour), we could save up a deposit for a house and I don't really see that as just making ends meet

 

[pichi]

ah well in that case that isn't so bad then

just wanted to make sure you weren't throwing yourself into the deep-end. that's what we're here for right?


me and OH are currently on the hunt for a house too but we havn't found our perfect one as of yet. by the end of sept we'll have a good amount for house, furniture, baby stuff and a bit left over for a treat for ourselves hehe.

happy baby-making!

seriously, when you get that bfp your legs will turn to jelly!

 

[Ella]

Oh, i wasn't saying that funny, hope that's not how it came across! I was just umming and arring about uni anyway but OH & I have known that we've wanted a baby for months now, so just wanting to move in together

I appriciate the concern and I know that I'm relatively young at 18 (not compared to the 14 and 15 that you see spread across the tabloids) but my OH is 25 this year, we both want to work, and when LO arrives I will stay at home but I will return to work. We don't want to both stay at home and live off the taxpayers, we want to build a nice life for ourselves and pay our own way

Oooh, happy house-hunting! Will you be finding out the sex when you can or staying on team yellow? Personally I'd want to colour theme for boy/girl!
xx

 

[pichi]

i think we are going to find out. we find out on the 24th June i think im on team but OH thinks its team

didn't think you were being funny hun it's ok xx

 

[Katie Mc]

Hi Ella I'm 25 and have 2 children and we are trying for our 3rd this year. I'm in college at the moment and we are planning our 3rd around my 2nd year in college. I'm going to take a year out before going to university. Anyway I had my first when I was 19 and have no regrets. We don't have loads of money but we budget and we even have a mortgage. Its not all about money.Our children are happy and live in a happy home. Do what your heart is telling you.

 

[Damita]

personally me and my husband have been thinking about this, I'm in year 2 of uni and I could have a baby and go to uni, uni is so intense that I personally couldn't do it but I am hoping to be pregnant in my 3rd year, maybe you could do the same?

 

[Princess_LV]

Hi Ella,
I'm just finishing my fourth, and final, year studying law at uni. It has cost me all in all around £35,000 to do all this studying, because I have had to borrow all the money for it, rather than be one of the lucky ones whose parents pay for them to go. If I had the opportunity again, I would still go, but maybe do things part-time because of the amount of debt studying full-time has gotten me into. The thing that bugs me at the moment, is that the job market is so slow that I don't have much chance of getting a job any better paid than my friends that went straight into the work place 4 years ago.

Saying that, I would never, part-time of full-time, have been able to cope with a little one while studying. University is such a HUGE step up from college, and if you're not 100% dedicated to it, I don't think you can do all that well - in your position, your heart is clearly set on being a mother, so Uni would play second fiddle to this and so grades would suffer! I don't think there are enough hours in the day for my workload now, let alone with a baby to loook after! x x

 

[babybel]

I went to Universty College London, studied Biomedical science, I loved it. My son was a year old when I started, but I only lived half hour away by tube and could commute in every day. I also had alot of family support, and I mean one hell of a lot. It was hard but we coped and J loved nursery the three days a week he went. However not completely sure of your situation but would not advise starting a course if you plan on a baby soon, I would wait until you'd had the baby and he/she are old enough that you feel comfortalbe ot leave or why not do the course first and then try for a baby

xx

 

[Katie Mc]

Babybel- I'm glad you say you found uni ok with a one year old because this has been on my mind. My other two children will be in school when I start and my partner is brilliant, he works nights(only until about 2 in the morning)so he will be with children when i'm studying. If you have support it really helps you.

 

[tabby28]

I have thought about it alot - I am just coming to the end of my second year in Illustration, and OH and I really want to start.

However, after talking to my close friends with young babies I have decided that I have to wait until I've finished. I just know I won't want to spend a second of my time having to study when I could be with my child. I will probably keep up my art work of course, during the childs first years, but there is a big difference between doing it when you want to, and being forced to spend time away from a LO because of a course/degree.

However, if I had really wanted a baby before I started my degree (I was happy to wait at that point) I would have done what my mum did - have my baby and start my degree once the child is a little older. It worked very well for her. It all depends on what you want the most at this point - but its good to make a decision before you start because it is a lot more complicated if you have already comitted to a three year course and then decide to start trying in the middle of it.

Hope that helps and good luck with the degree!

 

[Teacake <3]

It is totally achievable if it's what you what! I have graduated and started work in the industry I have my degree in since having my son who wasn't anticipated while I was on my degree course but you play with the hand you're dealt I've succesfully completed my degree whilst being pregnant and having Wilson and I have achieved a better classification with more work and got myself a full time job which is better than half of the girls on my course have done!

If you want a baby and you think it's the right time then only you and your OH have decide that and I'm all for being in education and being pregnant, I wasn't the only girl on my course to have a baby whilst on it, intact there were 3 of us pregnant at the same time with only one taking any extended time off! Then after I'd had Wilson 2 others fell pregnant, 1 of which was pregnant the same time as me and already had 7yr old twins! So if she can do it with her husband working full time with 4 kids then I think anything is achievable!

Anyways good luck and whatever you decide will be the right choice for you I hope this has helped!

Jane XXXXXXX

 

[StarBound]

Why dont you have a look at local universities and part time language courses ? Alot of universities will offer cheap childcare . I am starting a LLB in law and management at Aston university when my baby will be one year old.

I know the workload will be huge , but i have a strong support system with my parents and my partner. I must say though i would never consider moving away to go to uni and doing a year away with a baby and partner at home

 

[morri]

I have thought about it too, But I think I better wait till after because my organasational skills aren't the best already.