It is official- the problem is only me:(

[Amber3]

So it is official. My husband finally had a semen analysis this morning and he called me already and joyfully gave me the result. His sperm is super!
I was not hoping that there would be a problem with it... but realising that I am the reason why we have not had any children and probably wont have any in the future is really really hard. I can´t help feeling so sad and insufficient.. almost wishing that I had not married my wonderful man because of the thought that he could have had kids with someone else.
I guess in the long run it would have been a lot easier if we both had been infertile and as such were a match...
Amber (ttc almost 5 years)

 

[_Nell]

(((hugs))) for you Amber.

I felt very similar when my DH got his SA back, not helped by the consultant being really impressed by it and saying it was worthy of framing.
Turns out it was not so clear cut as IVF revealed despite a great SA we had sperm/egg binding problems.

Have you had any tests done yourself? Do you have a diagnosis and will you consider ART?

 

[Amber3]

Thank you for your understanding.
I have been in NaProTechnology this last year and they have done wonders for my cycle as well as my hormones ( I have endometriosis and hormonal problems). But still nothing has happened which has me wondering all the time about what could be our "missing link". I thought it might be my husband... but no.
ART is not for us. But I would still be interested in more tests... so if you know anything. Fx. I heard about some test that shows if your mucus somehow attacks the sperm... such tests would be interesting but I don't know what else is out there.
Amber

 

[cooch]

Amber that's awful, but I'm sure your husband will love you just as much and will see it as you two being in it together. Hugs xx

 

[Amber3]

Dear cooch,
Thanks, but I never actually felt that we were in it together and now even less.
I guess he loves me no matter what, the problem is how all this makes me feel about myself ...
Best wishes to you
Amber

 

[_Nell]

I think you can go on forever with tests tbh.
Sperm wise there is a DNA fragmentation test (not covered in a SA)
There's also a (now little used) hamster egg penetration test, to indicate if the sperm are actually capable of penetrating an egg.....it's possible to have a good SA but the sperm still not be able to get to the egg.

Try not to think of this SA as conclusive diagnosis the 'problem' is you because in all honesty it really isn't that clear cut....it just happens that commonly there's only really 1type of test to do on men.

I felt just like you earlier this year when all our fertility problems pointed to me (and largely still do, the list just keeps gtting longer). I felt very alone too, but as time has passed it had brought DH and I closer, I hope in time you will feel less alone too.

 

[cooch]

Dear cooch,
Thanks, but I never actually felt that we were in it together and now even less.
I guess he loves me no matter what, the problem is how all this makes me feel about myself ...
Best wishes to you
Amber

I know Amber. When it turned out it was looking like my side that was letting us down I felt shocked and very upset. Its difficult being the woman when all you've ever dreamed of is being a mother. I just remember looking after my dolls when i was younger and wishing they were real babies. xx

 

[LizMcD]

Amber sending hugs and positive thoughts to you. It sounds like u have a very solid r'ship and you should certainly not blame yourself! I've been reading the ladies comments above and it's scary how the egg and sperm can just be in compatible, I've been wondering a lot lately about my DH and I being reproductively 'incompatible'.

I really believe u can get pregnant and you should never give up. What are the next steps?
Xx

 

[Sophe]

Hi Amber,

My DH has 1% morphology, it hurt bad when I thought this was the reason we could not conceive, it also hurt when the DR told us it probably isn't becase then the blame came totally back to me again, I know how you feel.

its not fair that you feeel alone with this? have you told your DH how you are feeling?

 

[Lily7]

Hi amber, I know how you are feeling, I feel the same, just know that we are all here for each other on here. I am here and feel free to msg me anytime x

 

[Amber3]

Thank you so much for your understanding and all your encouraging words.
I am feeling a bit better today as my husband was really nice to me yesterday. I sometimes feel like he knows me better that I know myself, since he manages to comfort me even when I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
Liz well, we are actually just now applying for adoption so it looks like we may become adoptive parents within the next few years. However, I am certainluy not ready to give up on the biological arena. I think I will try the baby aspirin next month, someone inhere said she was infertile for 9 years and had 3 IVFs and then she tried aspirin and got pregnant.
I also thought about trying maca and about going gluten free for a month or two. My fertility doctor is also looking into the option of having me undergo another laporoscopy because I have endometriosis and seem to be bleeding most days of my cycle for no detectable reason.
Big Thanks to all of you
Amber

 

[Damita]

aw hunny, same for me too, DH has above average sperm and I have PCOS

 

[wiiyyellow]

I heard about some test that shows if your mucus somehow attacks the sperm... such tests would be interesting but I don't know what else is out there.

 

[cooch]

I heard about some test that shows if your mucus somehow attacks the sperm... such tests would be interesting but I don't know what else is out there.

I was told it wasn't worth getting this done- although this was an NHS doc- they don't usually push for tests, lol.

 

[NellyVille]

Oh Amber I know exactly how you feel!
My hubby's SA came back brilliant too, same as you I keep thinking "if he hadn't married me he'd have a family by now" but if I voice that to him he tells me off. He says that he married me because he wanted to be with me, children would be a bonus but he can be happy with just us. I know how badly he wants our child and it kills me every day that I may not be able to give him that but he does want OUR child, and I'm sure your husband feels the same about you. xx

 

[SDState]

I know how you ladies feel too! SA came back AMAZING, he was bragging about it the other day. I, on the other hand, have hyperthyroid and High FSH (maybe) along with my eggs growing really slowly and me not responding the the CCT. blah! Within the past three weeks I have been on 5 different medications or supplements to "fix" things. Im just about ready to throw in the towel.