Its time to cut him out :(

[jazmine18]

I think its finally time for me to shut sophias father out of her life, at the very least for a good few months, maybe foreva. I feel like im constantly fighting with him to be a father, its not fair on sophia and its not good for me, its draining the energy i could be putting into be a good mother.

He cheated on me, after that he didnt see her for a few weeks, he is constantly making up excuses to not see her..and excuses to not give me money. he is rude to me, tells me to f**k off, changes seeing her last minute, only spends a couple hours with her once about every 10 days now,basically doing nothing, watching TV and telling me to deal with her. and i know of times he has giving up seeing her to have sex with girls barely out of school.

I gotta stop it now before she knows any better, i dont want her waiting around for a waste of space father that never shows up. and it kills me that he has broken every promise he ever made, but i gotta be strong and stick to my word because i cant bare to watch him break her heart too.

Just looking for some support.
anyone else been in a similar situation?

thanks xxx

 

[jenny873]

not in ur situation, my OH was like that last time we split for a few months, we have just split again probably for good and he is playing the caring father this time. as u say u cant let ur LO get older and be sitting ready waiting for her daddy who might never come. xxx

 

[xJG30]

Kinda in your situation.. tom's dad wanted to play a part in his life yet has made the effort 3 times in 11 months to come and see him.

Now we don't contact him anymore or anything, he's too busy with his gf.

 

[jazmine18]

thanks girls..the worst bit is i know when i cut him out, he wont even try and fight to see her, probably be pi**ed off for a day cause he didnt get his own way, he'll soon forget about her, i just feel sad for my lil girl and guilty for giving her a loser father

 

[Mummy&bump]

u didnt kno it was going to turn out like this hun so dnt beat urself up about it.

u sound like ur doing the best thing by ur little girl

xx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Hun i've been where you are & can honestly say 100% it was the best decision i made to stop contact with joshs sperm donor, he was the same never turned up, or suddenly told me he wasn't coming despite he should of been here within 10 mins, or he'd eventually take him & constantly bring him back early coz he was busy or had been asked to go out, or he'd take my son to the pub for the whole how ever many hours he had him & would get drunk feed him endless crisps & fizzy pop. Then walk home drunk!
He wouldn't stick with helping me potty train & get him out of nappies so it was making it twice as hard to show josh he didnt need nappies, he never paid towards him but yet tried blagging how good of a dad he was. He'd smoke a fag right in front of him despite me asking to just stand at the door as i'd rather he didn't see it just yet or have it in his face, He would arrange to pick him up then knowing i'd made plans wouldnt show, or he would start telling him " mummy has big boobs " & told him that he had "big balls" .
Can i just say josh had barely gone 3! He wouldn't see him for wks when he had money but soon as he was skint & had been dumped by his girlfriend that wk he was back around..anyhoo i kept doing the your not seeing him lark & then id give in, which i shouldn't of i was adding to the upset of my son each time he let him down, so once & for all in feb this year i finally stopped all contact & the only time his sperm donor has ever bothered about him is when he started seeing some old bird end of my street so when we have to walk passed to go shop he tries shouting of us both grr .

BUT the change in josh for not going anymore is fab, he changed , better behaved, spoke better , wasn't naughty etc . Did better in nursery too.
I'm happier, no longer stressing or watching my son cry for his sperm donor, i don't have to revolve my life around someone who int gonna show. Im so much happier its unreal which in turn makes josh happy.

sorry its long winded but had to explain

i no longer call him his dad as he never earned that right x

 

[Novbaby08]

I know how you feel I had to cut Harley's dad out of Her life. It isn't easy. But you can do it. She'll be just fine without him

 

[purpledahlia]

She will be fine without him in her life she has you and thats the most important thing. If he cant get his act together he doesnt deserve to make empty promises x

 

[shocker]

Im sorry to hear your having a rough time, i cut my dad out of my life and didnt speak to him for several years.I have only just got in contact with him again and he was married to my mother who he had 4 kids with.It doesnt matter the situation dads can let you down, i never thought mine would change but he has, his oldest child is 35 and hes only just now realised how to be a dad. If he doesnt get his act together its his loss, your doing your best and you should be proud of yourself for that xx

 

[xxannxx]

My ex was like that, letting LO down, being abusive to me when didn't get his own way. In the end I had to see a solicitor, not about LO, but to enquire about getting a non-molestation order so as to stop him harassing me. I didn't go through with the order but the solicitor helped me to arrange a proper routine of when he would see LO and meant that he didn't have to come to my house or phone me, this works to a point. He doesn't let him down as much as before, though will now and again instigate arguments so won't have to take LO, and can blame it on me. I keep a journal of all contact I have with him, so as if he isn't around when LO is older, I know I've always done everything I can to keep their relationship open. At times its very hard to continue with, LO loves seeing ex but I know that he deserves better and that he's probably heading for a big fall one day, all I can do though is hope for the best and be there if it goes wrong to pick up the pieces.

 

[Freya]

Sending hugs, the 'dad' sounds like a complete waste of space to your daughter. It may well be best to distance yourselves from him. She's too young to know much right now. Perhaps in time you'll meet someone who will be a good father figure for your little girl.

What a shame the dad doesn't know what he has!!!!