IUD or Vasectomy or ???

[SpringCrane]

My husband is scheduled for a vasectomy on Friday. I was 100% for it, until I started Googling in the middle of the night... During his consultation, the only side effect mentioned was possible infection. Turns out there can be chronic pain as a result, among other really unpleasant things. Uncommon, but a definite possibility. I don't want his penis to hurt!

I don't like hormonal birth control, and 20+ years of condoms sounds expensive and inconvenient.

I'm considering the copper IUD. I don't love the idea of inserting something in there, but it's good to know it could just be taken out if I don't like the side effects (which I don't really know about, to be honest.)

Natural family planning would be an option, but I wouldn't be shocked if I let baby fever get ahold of me some day down the road and I make a decision in the heat of the moment (and we seem to be very fertile!).

Any advice or experience with anything related?

 

[wishingonastar]

I had copper iud. After having it inserted I had period pain type cramps and then when I got my periods back they were very heavy and I had some period paid. My periods pre pregnancy and pre iud were average flow and no pains so I don't know if the change was because of baby or iud.

I'd recommend the iud however you note a slight risk of chronic pain as putting you off vasectomy route but are you aware copper iud has slight risk of perforating your womb?

Most of the options have potential for side effects but risk is low.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

My DH had a vasectomy on Thursday just gone and he's fine. We knew 100% that we're done having children and to that end it seemed ridiculous for me to spend my life on artificial pregnancy blockers when there was a more permanent option. I'd toyed with the idea of a hysterectomy but there's 10 years between me and my DH and he wasn't having any of it in case something ever happened to him and I later decided I wanted more so a vasectomy was the only solution and he was more than happy to have it so we went ahead.

The procedure took 15 minutes, he was sore for 2/3 days and TMI his balls were MASSIVE but once the swelling had gone down it was fine, we still haven't DTD but that's mainly because I'm paranoid the cut will open but he's walking/driving without any issues and the pain he had in the first couple of days was easily managed with paracetamol and ibuprofen

 

[noon_child]

I had copper iud. After having it inserted I had period pain type cramps and then when I got my periods back they were very heavy and I had some period paid. My periods pre pregnancy and pre iud were average flow and no pains so I don't know if the change was because of baby or iud.
.

Heavier (and sometimes more crampy) periods are a known side effect of the copper coil. Usually periods after a pregnancy are less painful than those before, so I'd say the coil was probably the cause of the change in period pain.

 

[hlynne]

I know two men that have had vasectomy's and they ended up just fine. One of them did end up having a baby after it though. Turned out he didn't wait the whole month to have sex. I think he waited about 3 weeks or so. If he does end up doing it, just make sure that you both wait until the doctor says the coast is clear to have sex again

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

Hylnne makes a good point!! DH has to ummm *cough* come *cough* 20 times between now and a certain date and then send a sample off to confirm that his count has gone down. So it's not an immediate fix

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Because you have mentioned that one day in the future you might let baby fever take hold of you, and have another, it leads me to believe that you might regret it in the future. After our third baby, DH was absolutely ADAMANT that he did not want anymore EVER, I wasn't one hundred percent on it but I thought at the time that it might be for the best because I like you might be wanting another in the future when really maybe we should be stopping at 3, so we had it done ......MASSIVE MISTAKE eventually we both changed our minds (me before DH) we ended up going private for a reversal, and then spent one year and 8 months desperately longing for a baby...I am now finally expecting our 4th baby and we are both over the moon!!

I would go with the merina coil? Xx

 

[hlynne]

Because you have mentioned that one day in the future you might let baby fever take hold of you, and have another, it leads me to believe that you might regret it in the future. After our third baby, DH was absolutely ADAMANT that he did not want anymore EVER, I wasn't one hundred percent on it but I thought at the time that it might be for the best because I like you might be wanting another in the future when really maybe we should be stopping at 3, so we had it done ......MASSIVE MISTAKE eventually we both changed our minds (me before DH) we ended up going private for a reversal, and then spent one year and 8 months desperately longing for a baby...I am now finally expecting our 4th baby and we are both over the moon!!

I would go with the merina coil? Xx

Awwww...CONGRATS! Great story!

 

[lau86]

It sounds very soon after your baby to be considering something so permanent? The copper coil is known to cause heavier/ more painful periods but you don't know how you will react to it. I have the mirena, it is hormonal though

 

[SpringCrane]

Because you have mentioned that one day in the future you might let baby fever take hold of you, and have another, it leads me to believe that you might regret it in the future. After our third baby, DH was absolutely ADAMANT that he did not want anymore EVER, I wasn't one hundred percent on it but I thought at the time that it might be for the best because I like you might be wanting another in the future when really maybe we should be stopping at 3, so we had it done ......MASSIVE MISTAKE eventually we both changed our minds (me before DH) we ended up going private for a reversal, and then spent one year and 8 months desperately longing for a baby...I am now finally expecting our 4th baby and we are both over the moon!!

I would go with the merina coil? Xx

Aw, congratulations!

I am definitely done having kids, but that doesn't mean some day when both of my boys are older I won't think one day, "Oh, a baby would be fun!" and do something impulsive if we are only using natural family planning... But truly, I'm comfortable with a permanent solution, just worried about side effects.

It's clear that MOST vasectomies go off without a hitch (and yes, getting the all clear for no spermies is essential!), but it's the cases where men have ended up with chronic pain after that terrify me. Not common, sure, but a possibility. Just like hearing a possible outcome of an IUD is uterine perforation. That scares me!

I do appreciate all the advice and experiences! I think I'm going to ask my husband to cancel his appointment for this Friday so we have more time to consider all of our options. I'm just not sure we'll come up with anything better...

 

[donnarobinson]

I have a 13 week old baby because my copper coil fell out 3 days after it fell out is very uncommon for that to happen tho and I'm having another one fitted next week X

 

[Button#]

I went with the view that it was his turn! He was a bit sore after and he managed to get an infection but he's fine now.

 

[noon_child]

I have a 13 week old baby because my copper coil fell out 3 days after it fell out is very uncommon for that to happen tho and I'm having another one fitted next week X

Oh Im so paranoid about that. Got my Mirena renewed last week and I'm checking my threads almost daily until it's been in a month!

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

I just think it's hard to really say never ever (unless it's for health reasons of course) and have been part of forums with hundreds of couples who are so down after failed reversals etc and regret their decisions BUT speaking purely on my DH's experience, if you where sure you did not want anymore ever, his went well, he was in a lot of pain but only for the first few days, he did get an infection but it was more the site of it that was worrying rather than any extra pain, once he was healed he had no pain other than occasional random pain in his testicals and it wasn't anything extreme

Good luck in your decision, as for natural family planning I would stear clear as I conceived our third baby on cycle day 5, just finishing my AF and this baby was cycle day 10 so didn't expect to be anywhere near ovulation as generally I am closer to the middle or the month! xx

 

[KBCupcake]

I have a copper IUD and I like mine. I had heavy periods and painful cramping before my IUD so I didn't notice a difference afterwards.

I had pelvic pain for a while after it was inserted but it went away eventually. I do get weird brown discharge once in a while but that's a normal side effect of the IUD. IUD and condoms are my only option for BC and I don't trust condoms!

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

I will be having the coil after I have this baby as I can't take the pill and the injection makes me gain a horrendous amount of weight! X

 

[jessmke]

I had a copper IUD for a long time before I got it taken out to have this baby and I never had any problems with it. My periods were maybe slightly heavier and more crampy, but nothing drastic. I am considering what we should do once we decide we are done with kids. I love the idea of a vasectomy and my hubby is willing to have it done, but I have heard to many stories of people getting pregnant even after their partner had a vasectomy, so I think I would be too nervous about that. We still have some time to decide what to do.

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

I had a copper IUD for a long time before I got it taken out to have this baby and I never had any problems with it. My periods were maybe slightly heavier and more crampy, but nothing drastic. I am considering what we should do once we decide we are done with kids. I love the idea of a vasectomy and my hubby is willing to have it done, but I have heard to many stories of people getting pregnant even after their partner had a vasectomy, so I think I would be too nervous about that. We still have some time to decide what to do.

The only time people tend to get pregnant after a vasectomy is when they have waited for the all clear, he has to do a sample to check that there is no sperm present and that the operation has worked and the pipes have also been all cleared out! It's when people to don't do this and presume that it's been a success that they fall pregnant. There have been cases of the odd couple falling pregnant years after a successful vasectomy but it is very VERY rare and nowadays they cauterise the tubes and there's basically no chance at all of someone falling pregnant after. So for those who are sure they don't want anymore little ones ever then it's a fool proof answer, but I always tell people to proceed with caution after our experience xx

 

[hopefulVRmum]

I'd be cautious too. When I was pregnant with my little one 4 and a half years ago we were absolutely adamant that we would have no more children....the thought made me want to run into traffic hahah. A had 4 within 5 years so its hectic..Dh had a vasectomy 3.5 years ago and 2 years ago I started feeling super broody. I squashed the feelings down and tried to ignore it now I'm at the stage where I'm literally desperate to gag another baby it makes me so emotional to even think about it. My hub is going in for a reversal on Thursday and I'm delighted. It's been a heavy burden for a while now. It's costing £3000 and obviously no guarantee of working. It's a massive decision and I'd hate to think anyone else so end up in my position. I do wish I'd got the coil xxx

 

[Ganton]

I'd be cautious too. When I was pregnant with my little one 4 and a half years ago we were absolutely adamant that we would have no more children....the thought made me want to run into traffic hahah. A had 4 within 5 years so its hectic..Dh had a vasectomy 3.5 years ago and 2 years ago I started feeling super broody. I squashed the feelings down and tried to ignore it now I'm at the stage where I'm literally desperate to gag another baby it makes me so emotional to even think about it. My hub is going in for a reversal on Thursday and I'm delighted. It's been a heavy burden for a while now. It's costing £3000 and obviously no guarantee of working. It's a massive decision and I'd hate to think anyone else so end up in my position. I do wish I'd got the coil xxx

This is the reason that I don't want to do anything permanent. I've recently had my third baby and I've always said I wanted 3. Husband wanted 2 or 3, so as far as we and everyone else is concerned, we're all done now. I just can't help wondering if we might change our mind at some point in the future.