IUI #4 - Stress reduction. Help please!

[Megan0625]

Hi ladies! So, my partner and I were absolutely devastated after our recent 3rd failed IUI. We are prepping for our 4th IUI now (and our last before we switch to IVF). For some background info, we've had a couple of at-home ICIs with donor sperm, one natural IUI, and 2 medicated IUIs (one with clomid and one with femara). To be fair, I'm pretty sure our ICIs were not timed correctly, so I don't really count those. I've had a lot of testing done (including an HSG in August) and there seems to be no reason I haven't conceived yet. We are doubling our dose of clomid this time because I responded much better to clomid than femara. The main thing I think is impairing my ability to get pregnant is stress to be honest. I find myself absolutely obsessed with it every month, worrying about finances in case my cycle doesn't work, symptom-spotting, and I ultimately just fixate on it. I'm a scientist and I understand how bad stress is for many physiological functions, including the reproductive system. Does anybody have any suggestions for going more with the flow during these cycles? How can I stop obsessing and putting so much pressure on myself to get pregnant? Right now, I'm doing things that bring me joy (hiking more, exercising, reading, etc), and doing some guided meditations. I've noticed my eye has already stopped twitching (it has been twitching nonstop for over a month!), so I know it's helping. I just need to stay on track so I can increase my chances for success during this upcoming cycle. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

 

[LadyLovenox]

Stress is so hard to control. I have anxiety, too, so when I felt like stress was causing more probs, it gave me anxiety and I stressed about my stress. It took 4 rounds of IVF to get my first child, and by the 4th round, I had NO hope that it would work. I had my mind made up that we were going to use donor eggs, and had pretty much dismissed the 4th round as a possibility. I was already looking at donor profiles and planning that route when the 4th round actually worked! I have no idea if giving up actually helped, but it def reduced my stress!

 

[Megan0625]

Stress is so hard to control. I have anxiety, too, so when I felt like stress was causing more probs, it gave me anxiety and I stressed about my stress. It took 4 rounds of IVF to get my first child, and by the 4th round, I had NO hope that it would work. I had my mind made up that we were going to use donor eggs, and had pretty much dismissed the 4th round as a possibility. I was already looking at donor profiles and planning that route when the 4th round actually worked! I have no idea if giving up actually helped, but it def reduced my stress!

Thank you so much for your response! Yes, I have anxiety and clearly get stressed easily, but ttc has been particularly stressful for me. Given my family history and the results of all my diagnostic tests, I genuinely think stress is playing the biggest role in my failed IUIs so far. I realized that even last month, I had constant stomach issues, felt an anxiety pit in my stomach, and was just so obsessed with the results of my IUI. When it failed, I somewhat expected it but felt gutted. I just started another round of Clomid (double dose), but have decided to try to just live my life this time and focus on things that I enjoy rather than the results of this round. My therapist has suggested to just not even think about my appointments once I go to them, to try to just act as if it's a door that I've closed and move on to the next appointment, and in between, do the things that fill me with joy. It's so much easier said than done though!

 

[mandu10]

Just wanted to say good luck! We just did our 3rd IUI, currently 9dpiui and plan to move forward with IVF after this. I have found that stress is quite awful and it's hard to not look every little thing up on the message boards. Personally, I try to limit my time perusing the interwebs and I go to acupuncture twice a month. Some people swear by it where others think it's a load of garbage, I truly love it. It might just be that I have to lay quietly and not move for 45 minutes, which in a way forces me to go into a meditative state, or maybe the acupuncture itself is really helping. I like to think it could be a combination of both. I am also very active and that does help too, but you have to find what works best for you. Just thought I'd share what I have found worked for me.

I have heard of some people listening to guided meditation during the IUI itself, I tried that and it did not jive well for me, but might help as well? Best of luck!!

 

[Nima]

I really understand your stress, I think. I am a doctor and my go to solutions are always about research and information, and suddenly there's nothing more to know, just flow or whatever, and I am not specialized in that...
I was very obsessed with ttc when trying for our first. Now trying for the second I started off very similarly but after a month decided I can't stand another life phase that is so heavy and tense. I started going to Shiatsu and meditating. It really helps a lot! I manage to breathe through it and some days even forget about ttc! Having a toddler helps, of course, but still.

I wish you the best of luck and hope this IUI is your little baby's beginning.

 

[Rags]

I see that Mandu mentioned acupuncture, I was about to suggest it myself. I understand how stressful the whole process is and I know personally that I find it easier to deal with stress if I feel I'm doing something productive. I have only had acupuncture when I was trying to conceive, I went to someone who specialised in fertility therapies and the timing of the vista worked well before and after my iui, it made me feel a bit more in control.

 

[Megan0625]

Just wanted to say good luck! We just did our 3rd IUI, currently 9dpiui and plan to move forward with IVF after this. I have found that stress is quite awful and it's hard to not look every little thing up on the message boards. Personally, I try to limit my time perusing the interwebs and I go to acupuncture twice a month. Some people swear by it where others think it's a load of garbage, I truly love it. It might just be that I have to lay quietly and not move for 45 minutes, which in a way forces me to go into a meditative state, or maybe the acupuncture itself is really helping. I like to think it could be a combination of both. I am also very active and that does help too, but you have to find what works best for you. Just thought I'd share what I have found worked for me.

I have heard of some people listening to guided meditation during the IUI itself, I tried that and it did not jive well for me, but might help as well? Best of luck!!

Thank you so much for your response! I actually have my next IUI planned for the end of this week and an acupuncture consult early next week. I've decided I'm going to limit screen time, stay off these forums as much as possible, just check occasionally, and I have got to stop obsessing over every little twinge, as well as obsessing over what symptoms I think I should be feeling and panicking when I don't have them. I really realized that I lost a huge part of who I was while ttc and it's so important that I get myself back and try to enjoy life again. I never realized how stressful and hard this process would be.

 

[Rags]

I think that all sounds good Megan, at the end of your journey YOU still need to be there. Take care, good luck and I'll look forward to hearing from you when you fit us in among your actual life