jerking me around?? ughhh

[amotherslove]

so originally when i told him about the baby, he said i should get an abortion, then a few days later he started going on about he would get a second job to "give me what money he can" and went on to tell me that "believe it or not" he cares about how the baby is doing. well.. we've been fighting of course and lastnight/thismorning i texted him and i've messaged a few times, even saying "if you dont wish to communicate or take part then just let me know" but he's not responding??? how do you go from "have an abortion" to "im the father i have rights" to just plain not talking to me??? ughhghghghghg i'm so annoyed and stressed

 

[SilasLove]

That's a man for you. Always sending mixed feelings. Honestly being that he is married he probably isn't wanting to fully jeopardize that. Unless his wife already knows?

 

[MummyJade]

bloody ignore him! dont let him get to you, he is totally not worth it, your baby only needs you xx

 

[amotherslove]

she does know. but honestly, he's being the difficult one. she's way less complicated than him, mind you shes kindof if a great deal of denial... but she's not at all the problem.

 

[LonelyAngelx]

argh men do that unfortunatly sweetie, i hear loads of stories from friends who have gotten pregnant and there partners or the babies dad dont want anything to do with the baby then they do... then they change there mind... if i were you id give him another chance.. then thats it.. at the end of the day its his loss

 

[littlekitten8]

Hes probably still trying to get his head around it! I would give him some space, say a couple weeks....and then if he still is mucking you about screw him!

 

[SilasLove]

I think the fact that he is committed to a different family will always go against you and your LO. He will never fully be there for your LO 24/7 being that he has another family. Unless he is planning to leave his wife then this will always be an issue. You could give him more time to adjust and see how that goes. Just don't let him string you along!

Also something I heard once was a woman becomes a mother at the moment of conception and a man becomes a father the first time he sets eyes on his child. So perhaps this stands true for you!? I know it did with my OH.

 

[amotherslove]

I think the fact that he is committed to a different family will always go against you and your LO. He will never fully be there for your LO 24/7 being that he has another family. Unless he is planning to leave his wife then this will always be an issue. You could give him more time to adjust and see how that goes. Just don't let him string you along!

Also something I heard once was a woman becomes a mother at the moment of conception and a man becomes a father the first time he sets eyes on his child. So perhaps this stands true for you!? I know it did with my OH.

he's definitely not planning on leaving her.. and this is my main concern.. not for me.. but for my LO.. i want him in it's life if he's serious about it.. but i'm worried about the day my child realizes in the end he chose his other family over us.. i dont want it to feel second best like i do now, and worse.. what if my LO blames me? i was stupid.. i got myself here.. but i didnt do it to hurt anyone.. of course i knew it could and likely would.. but i love/d him.. i just wanted things to work out right.. i really thought i was what he wanted.. i dont know HOW unhealthy this is for my LO... is it MORE unhealthy than cutting him out? it's hard for me to hold grudges.. and ive known FOB for a very very long time.. like.. since i was four.. its hard for me to just say goodbye to that... we're over.. romatically.. and i'm sticking to my guns.. but i dunno how to go back to being his "friend" i also dont know how to not be his friend.