just crossing my mind today...support for TTC#1

[cosmotbear]

I am not really sure why I was thinking about this today, but it was on my mind all afternoon so I thought I'd post.
I had a mmc when I was pregnant the first time, started bleeding at about 11 weeks and opted for a D&C at 12 weeks when we knew it was for definite. I was so calm when I found out I had miscarried...shock maybe at a) being pregnant anyway b) that it was all over.
But as I was on the trolley about to go into theatre I just started sobbing. The doctor walked in a few minutes later and said to me that it was all going to be fine and that in the long run, having a miscarriage is actually a positive thing as it is the ultimate proof that you are fertile and able to conceive. He said 'I'll bet you that the next time you're back in this hospital you'll be in labour ward'. I wasn't entirely sure about this but low and behold I was back there, in labour ward 13 months later giving birth to my DS.
Miscarriage is awful, especially if you have consecutive ones, and I am just shocked that so many women deal with it all the time, but I remember what that doctor said to me and I think he's right. Having a miscarriage is better than never ever getting a BFP. It does prove you work, but just that this time it wasn't meant to be and that the egg or sperm had genetic flaws so your body is just doing the right thing for you and the baby.
Sending huge hugs to all the ladies on here and please try to keep in mind what that lovely man said to me xxxxx and lots of luck for a really sticky bean next time round.

 

[Allym0101]

Thank you for sharing. Those are lovely words

xoxo

 

[heather_dw]

I hope you're right. My doctor told me that she thought I'd be "fine" and I still had a second miscarriage. She's now once again saying I'll be "fine" and even the specialist says he doesn't see anything wrong with me right now.

*fingers crossed for all of us TTC 'ers*

 

[robo123]

Thankyou, Thats really nice to hear and is so true! I guess I never looked at it that way. xxxx

 

[Vickieh1981]

I think I will have to disagree with him. I don't think that losing my daughter was a positive thing at all.

 

[debgreasby]

I think I will have to disagree with him. I don't think that losing my daughter was a positive thing at all.

Same here Vickie xxx

 

[w8ing4bean]

I wouldn't quite agree with it being a positive thing..as 6 months on I'm still an emotional wreck.

However, yes, it is good to know we can get pregnant. Although that's not really much comfort when you see how many ladies on here have consecutive losses

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Again i have to agree.....i dont feel losing my son max was a positive thing either......and 4 months later im still a wreck....and going onto month 3 ttc again...with little hope

 

[FBbaby]

I don't think clinicians should say things like this ever. It is exactly what I was told when I m/c that at least we knew that I could get pregnant, especially about my man being ok because he had never conceived a child at 42 (I have two from a previous relationship). People told me that since I'd fallen pregnant first month ttc despite our ages (42 and 38 for me), it was clear we were very fertile and I would be pregnant in no time... 8 months later, we found ourselves in front of the consultant, learning that my OH SA came back low and that I was very unlikely to fall pg without icsi. It was a total shock. 3 months later, he did another one which came back a lot better, but 5 months since the first appt, still no bfp.

I don't want to alarm those who just had a miscarriage, the vast majority go on to fall pregnant quickly afterwards and give birth, but I don't think it is right to make assumptions that a miscarriage means that all is working well. It certainly is NOT ultimate proof that you are fertile and able to conceive.

 

[Halley]

Thanks for sharing your story as it gives me a bit more hope at the minute as I have non! I do agree with FBbaby though.

xx