Just found out about my husband- devestated

[KARMA2011]

Hi ladies,

Well a few months back I wrote in the 2nd tri forum that I had felt ripped apart because I had found some inappropriate emails on my husbands computer back and forth between him and an old school friend. We have been together for 4 years just celebrated our first wedding anniversary and were blessed to have fallen pregnant earlier this year. I would have described our marriage as great. We were the best of friends, loved each others company went and did everything together and lived in a state of euphoria since finding out we are expecting a little girl in Nov. Needless to say I was stunned when I found these messages and it shook me to the core. we naturally had world war 3 over it I left to stay with parents over the following few days then after days of grovelling and admitting to complete foolishness we got over it. What has transpired since is nothing short of sick and shocking. I have discovered that he has been trawling facebook looking for women to engage in dirty sex with him. These are his friends and people we know. He has been testing the waters to see how they respond and lucky for him one was up for it and he met her and had sex with her! I know this as this persons husband contacted me today to fill me in on the perverted messages my husband has been sending her telling her how much he loved 'fucking' her!! it has ripped my world apart- I am due to give birth in 13 weeks and have just spent a week in hospital after my contractions started last sat. My husband is inconsolable and has had a complete breakdown. He knows that there is no going back and that he will not be around to be a part of his daughters life. I have kicked him out and I have had pleas of begging for forgiveness but unfortunatley he also cheated on his first wife whilst she was pregnant and therefore I know he obviously has a serious psychological problem going on here and for my own sanity I could never take him back- I know he idolises me but not in the way a man should his wife. I am beyond inconsolable and petrified at the thought of being alone raising my daughter, I never dreamed id be a single mother let alone not even have my husband at the birth. What can I do? How do I get through this. Please someone help me`

 

[MikaylasMummy]

I have nothing to say except I'm so so sorry. You will be a fantastic mum on your own

 

[Strawberrymum]

hun I'm so so sorry that really is awful. Ifhe was a decent man he would be begging for your forgiveness, offering councelling, sending you flowers and just doing anything he can to show how sorry he is and how much he Lv es you. I do believe in second chances but only if you both want to and love EAchother.

If not then allow yourself a a couple of days to grieve. Have a bath and cry, invite your friends round to cry on etc. But then don't let him take over your life don't be sad about it everyday cause of what he did to you. You cant let him ruin your life, the rest of your pregnancy and your daughters life.

You can do this on your own! You have to for your daughter. Single parents are fabulous and some of the strongest? Do you have anyone else to be at the birth with you?

 

[iyawo]

Wooooow what a terrible situation! How are you fairing? Have you thought about counselling? Just to help ground you through such a hard situation? The most important thing is to get yourself as grounded and in as peaceful of an environment as possible for the birth. I really hope you have some good friends and family around you to help you. I can't imagine having to deal with him and the situation and having the baby right away at the same time. My heart goes out to you...

 

[mamashakesit]

Sorry about your situation, but I have to say, the guy sounds like a lousy husband, but like he wants to be in his child's life. If you are angry at him (and rightfully so) it wouldn't be good to have him in the birth room, but should he really be cut out of his daughters life? I definitely understand what you are feeling, but your daughter is the one who will suffer if you keep her away from her father.

 

[TiredNurse27]

What a scummy peice of shit. He doesn't idolise you or he wouldn't have done it. And while your pregnant too! He could have passed anything on to you and the baby scum scum scum

 

[Groovychick]

I am so sorry hun. What he did was inexcusable.

I strongly suggest you seek some profesisonal help to assist you in getting through this trauma.

 

[AbbynChloe]

What a scummy peice of shit. He doesn't idolise you or he wouldn't have done it. And while your pregnant too! He could have passed anything on to you and the baby scum scum scum

WSS

I am so sorry hun - Like the others have said you need to take some time out to think about you and baby - he sounds like he needs some real psychological help - not that it's any excuse for the way he treated you(I always believe that people have a choice to some degree in regards to behaviour)

 

[LonelyAngelx]

SO SO SORRY your going through this sweet... cant believe hed even do that to you aspecially when your pregnant.. men are just such jerks at times.. he'll soon regret what hes done to you, and im glad u wont take him back.. he doesnt deserve a second chance, you deserve so much better than that hun
your be a fantastic mum on your own im doing pefectly well on my own xxx
and i know u will to x

 

[creatingpeace]

Gosh I am sorry you are dealing with this. I have gone through infidelity and it was horrid and devastating, I cannot imagine dealing with it pregnant! Sorry, take good care of you!

 

[cabbagebaby]

didnt want to R&R just wanted to say sorry

 

[Seraphim]

I can't imagine how difficult this must be whilst you're pregnant. Just take each moment as it comes, protect yourself, pregnancy leaves you vulnerable. Be kind to yourself, try to stay as calm as possible. Let him be responsible for himself and his own actions and only do what you have to do for yourself for now. The worries that crash around you will nearly all wait til a later date.