just found out today, missed miscarriage

[Al4321]

I went for my dating scan today, had no bleeding since a bit of spotting last week which literally lasted a few seconds, no pain, no cramp. Had already seen baby on scan and heartbeat at 6 weeks. We got there and I expected everything to be ok, there was no heartbeat! the baby had grown so much in size and measured perfect for dates so it happened either yesterday or day before. Could see the head and body. Anyway now I am waiting for IT to happen. And hoping it will come soon. Anyone who has experienced this how long did it take before it happened?

 

[Al4321]

you never think itll happen to you

 

[AP]

Its true. You'd never think it happen. I know some people who have had same as you, but eventually had to have an operation. Are you preferring to go with the whole natural route?

Once again chick, i am so sorry. I know the feeling. you think you'll just be that stat that goes without a hitch. Its shocks you when thats not the case.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[spencerbear]

I had the same thing happen 2 years ago at 11 weeks. after having had 3 kids it was the last thing i expected. I had an operation but someone i know waited for the natural route. It took about 2 weeks.

Sorry for your loss.........

 

[Fluxuspoem]

I had an operation as my hormones were really high, and one of the doctors told me it could take weeks before nature took its course and I just couldnt deal with this idea.

However, the moment they told me what had happened, my body started showing signs of miscarriage. For me when my mind realised what was happening it started giving signals to my body that somethign was wrong.

x

 

[Naya69]

iam so sorry for your loss hun sending you bigs hugs xx

 

[borntobeamum]

im so sorry, xx

 

[Baby-Cakes]

So sorry your having to go through this

I had mmc in March @ 12wks+5, like you went for my scan and thought everything would be fine only had a small amount of spotting no pain either. I had ERPC/D&C as I had prev 'natural mc' which was quite painful and emotionally draining, but it is totally different for each person.

xxx

 

[kiwi_gal]

oh sweetie...im so sorry.....i just wanted to send you some

 

[JennTheMomma]

So sorry to hear

 

[catfromaus]

So sorry, sending hugs your way.

Cat
xxx

 

[Al4321]

Thanks everyone. I just dont know what to do. Im so lost right now, its a routine, Id get up, take my folic acid, then quickly eat something before I was sick with morning sickness. I used to eat something and think, aww my baby is eating this too. I just cant believe it all. Its such a massive shock. And its hurting knowing my baby with arms and legs is lying inside me lifeless right now. I have no bleeding at all so I dont think my body will expell it anytime soon. I dont want a d and c, and I really cannot take the tablets as when I was younger, only 17 I was forced into a abortion (which was also around this date) and that was tablets, so I cannot do that again.

I feel so terrible right now

 

[MrsJD]

Oh Mrs sending you lots of

This happen to me last July, however I opted for a DnC.

XXXX

 

[hayley x]

Im so sorry xxx

 

[orange-sox]

Sending you huge

I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now, we're all here for you x

 

[edinsam]

aw hun huge hugs

by the sounds of how you are feeling about previously I would say go for the dnc. If the tablets were horrendous last time then it sounds a better option for you (although I know no option for you at the moment is going to be a good option)

take care and look after yourself

 

[catfromaus]

Honestly, the d&c, while I understand your problems with it, isn't as bad as you think it will be.
I was terrified going in, but for me it was the best option. Like you, my body wasn't going to miscarry naturally quickly, and I couldn't handle the agony of waiting, knowing the baby was dead. The d&c was over quickly, and I felt no pain.
Its not perfect, nothing in this situation is. Make sure you stay in contact with the doctors, and let them know what is happening.

Cat
xxx

 

[Foogirl]

Our first attempt at being pregnant ended this way.

I didn't know I was pregnant until I was more than 6 weeks gone. At 9 weeks we had our booking in appointment I mentioned I'd had a little bit of bleeding so they booked us in for a scan. We had it at 10 weeks and there was no heartbeat, an internal scan was done and it was confirmed there had been no growth after 7 weeks. I had had no bleeding since then and the bleeding had been very minimal. Within about half an hour of the internal scan the bleeding started, just as we were discussing options for management - and I had opted for home management as I didn't want to have to deal with any of it in hospital. So the answer to the original question was, in my case, 3 weeks before it started to come away.

Having since been in hospital for bleeding in pregnancy, I think I'd make the same decision again. If it is possible to wait, and if there is no risk to you in doing so, I think I'd give it a couple of weeks to see what happens. Physically it wasn't a pleasant experience and being at home so I could just deal with things myself rather than having doctors and midwifes having me do things the way they thought was best was much better. Even things as simple as going into the shower for half an hour to let the warm water help with the pain, being able to sleep when I wanted to and eat when I wanted to, made such a difference. As long as you have someone who can be there to fetch and carry, I'd go for the wait and see approach. I understand D&C is safe enough as are the drugs but if you can avoid even the minimal risks, that may be preferable.

Don't let the healthcare professionals bully you or influence your decision. Talk to them to ascertain the risks of all approaches and base your decision on what you know is best for you. They tried hard to push for me to go into hospital but I knew it wasn't for me. It is hard to be strong with them when emotionally you are all over the place. If you have someone who is with you when you speak to them, you might have to ask them to be strong on your behalf.

It is an awful thing to have to go through. Our approach was that it wasn't meant to be. That particular attempt obviously had something wrong with it and better to know at that stage than to find out much later. I know that kind of thinking won't work for everyone, but it helped us through the process greatly.

I hope whatever you choose, it works out ok for you.

 

[susan_1981]

Oh god, I know only too well how awful this is! I had a missed miscarriage back in December, but I went 5 weeks without miscarrying naturally - basically, I had no clue I'd miscarried, went for my scan at 12 weeks and found out my baby had died at 7 weeks. I had absolutely no sign that this could have happened, no pain, no bleeding. All I can say is it could take a while but, strangely, 5 days after I'd had my scan, I started to get some spotting and cramping. I had my 12 week scan on 23 December and had to wait until 29 December to have an ERPC. It was almost as if because I knew my baby had died that my body finally started doing it's job.

Have you considered having an ERPC? I've heard that natural miscarriages can be quite painful. How far gone were you?

Again, so sorry for your loss xxxx

 

[babytots]

so sorry for your loss hun i cant help as with my missed miscarriage i had a erpc as i had been through a natural miscarriage before that and couldnt bear to go through it again. x