just having one of those night :-(

[hopefull85]

yet again the baby fever has hit me and im depressed i was with my sis in law earlier who is pregnant and i was in the back seat well she started to talk to her belly and then my brother reached over and rubbed her belly right then and there i wanted to break down but nope the story of my life hold your emotions in Tara cause no matter what your family will never know what you have to go through everyday i really have no one to turn to about what i have to go through even though my husband loves me i know he gets tired of hearing me wine about other women being pregnant its hard for both of us but to a woman its a totally different pain i keep faith in God and i know when he thinks it right for me then i will have a child but im so tired of waiting im always going to question why hasnt it happened yet i just keep going over and over in my head that i will be 27 this year and i have yet to concieve one i am a very strong woman but this is starting to wear me down there is no medicine for this kinda pain

 

[Madgirl]

You are so right, there isnt any medicine for this kind of hurt. Its always so hard when someone around is pregnant.

 

[hopefull85]

ive been trying to conceive for 5 years now and every year that passes it gets so much more harder some days i just dont know how i can go on but i do no matter how hard it is

 

[Madgirl]

Aw I understand, it is so hard. We have to keep going and hopefully our time is coming soon. I know how hard it is.

 

[Armywife84]

Wow, you are very strong..At this point, I would have burst into tears!

Is it possible to give your brother and SIL a bit of distance given your circumstances?? I'm sure your brother would understand. You have to do what's best for you and hold onto whatever sanity you have left after 5 years. It's not selfish to take care of your mental health.

 

[hopefull85]

i live about 200 yards from them. when i first found out they were pregnant again i didnt have anything to do with them. because of that my mother called me selfish and said i shouldnt be acting like that. my borther and his wife wanted to call me and cuss me out saying i need to grow and get over it. so what do i do i put it to the back of my mind like i do all the time. no one in my family understands what i am going through. what really makes me mad at my younger brother and his even younger wife is that when they met he was 17 and she was 16 she got pregnant with their first at 16 because she wanted to live with my brother so my mom says hey get pregnant. when i was 17 thats when i lost my virginity and my mother raised hell til i got on the depo shot because i wasnt going to get pregnant living in her house. hmmmm do you see what im getting to? My now 23 yr old brother and his 22 yr old wife are pregnant again and guess what still living with my almost 60 yr old parents. I have always lived out on my own since i was 18 and have had to work so hard for everything i have ever had. i just wished getting pregnant wasnt one of those things i have to work even harder for. but no matter how much i talk about it, its not going to change anything.

 

[Armywife84]

i live about 200 yards from them. when i first found out they were pregnant again i didnt have anything to do with them. because of that my mother called me selfish and said i shouldnt be acting like that. my borther and his wife wanted to call me and cuss me out saying i need to grow and get over it. so what do i do i put it to the back of my mind like i do all the time. no one in my family understands what i am going through. what really makes me mad at my younger brother and his even younger wife is that when they met he was 17 and she was 16 she got pregnant with their first at 16 because she wanted to live with my brother so my mom says hey get pregnant. when i was 17 thats when i lost my virginity and my mother raised hell til i got on the depo shot because i wasnt going to get pregnant living in her house. hmmmm do you see what im getting to? My now 23 yr old brother and his 22 yr old wife are pregnant again and guess what still living with my almost 60 yr old parents. I have always lived out on my own since i was 18 and have had to work so hard for everything i have ever had. i just wished getting pregnant wasnt one of those things i have to work even harder for. but no matter how much i talk about it, its not going to change anything.

Ha! If the tables were turned and they were IF, they would certainly be expecting a pity party. IF isn't something you get over, ignorant fertile people don't get that.

I wouldn't have batted an eye to your mother calling you selfish or what your brother, SIL wanted to do. Tell them to take a walk in your shoes for a day, then come talk to you about IF and how depressed it makes you feel. Then I would ignore them. They have NO right to call you selfish or cut you down when they don't know JACK SHIT about infertility and what it entails. If people aren't trying to understand your unfortunate situation, it's not your problem, it's their problem.

You have to acknowledge your feelings along with LTTC because no else is going to. It's not selfish to do what is best for you and your mental health.

 

[hopefull85]

this is why i love this site at least here people know exactly how i feel and what i am going through. no matter how much i try to ignore them im the one thats in the wrong and i need to stop acting like that according to them. and the thing is my SIL sat in my house the day before she found out she was having another boy and said she was getting the IUD put back in. then after they found out they werent getting exactly what they wanted (a girl) she then had to tell me well we are going to try again after this one. hmm must be nice to just pop'em out like that. just talking about them gets under my skin all my friends have kids and even my 18 yr old neice. i will be 27 this year and my husband turns 39. i just dont know how much longer he or i can do this. im so tired. mentally i am just so tired.

 

[Armywife84]

this is why i love this site at least here people know exactly how i feel and what i am going through. no matter how much i try to ignore them im the one thats in the wrong and i need to stop acting like that according to them. and the thing is my SIL sat in my house the day before she found out she was having another boy and said she was getting the IUD put back in. then after they found out they werent getting exactly what they wanted (a girl) she then had to tell me well we are going to try again after this one. hmm must be nice to just pop'em out like that. just talking about them gets under my skin all my friends have kids and even my 18 yr old neice. i will be 27 this year and my husband turns 39. i just dont know how much longer he or i can do this. im so tired. mentally i am just so tired.

Piss on them. There's no sense in trying to please them with your actions. They're pregnant so they have NOTHING to bitch about.

Sounds like you need a few months off to focus on other parts of your life and push LTTC to the back burner.

 

[hopefull85]

yeah i think you're right which is what i plan on doing in march i will be going to school to become and ultrasound tech so even though the baby fever is still there im just going to try and put it on the back burner like you said i am choosing to become an ultrasound tech because i love babies and being there at their first glimps of life will make me happy

 

[cndymndy716]

ive been trying to conceive for 5 years now and every year that passes it gets so much more harder some days i just dont know how i can go on but i do no matter how hard it is

This is my story as well. DH and I hit the 5 year mark last month. And you never know what the day is going to bring you if its going to be good or bad. I am sorry your family doesn't understand that makes it 100x harder.

 

[hopefull85]

ive been trying to conceive for 5 years now and every year that passes it gets so much more harder some days i just dont know how i can go on but i do no matter how hard it is

This is my story as well. DH and I hit the 5 year mark last month. And you never know what the day is going to bring you if its going to be good or bad. I am sorry your family doesn't understand that makes it 100x harder.

it so hard really to even get out of bed cause i know its just another day of being childless. no one close to me understands. all i hear from my family is " we will be so happy when you finally get pregnant that way you will shut up". that hurts. this is the only place i can come to and talk about whats going on and have people that understand. i can watch a commerical with a baby in it and cry thats how bad ive gotten. its so hard to always keep a fake smile and act like everything is ok.