Just need a bit of something? Reassurance?

[Goods]

This should probably go in the mothers guilt thread but basically I have an 8 month old son and haven't taken him to a single baby class. I know a couple who had their DS a week after us and all I see of them on Facebook is pictures of baby groups and swimming classes so now I feel totally guilty that I haven't managed it and I'm delaying his development or something.

The reason why I haven't managed is because I'm self employed and have been back at work since DS was 4 months. I work from home and squeeze in working when DS is either asleep or being watched, which is 3 mornings a week. I feel I can't lose precious time at home in case he is sleeping and I can then do some work and stop neglecting my business.

My DH is totally unsupportive because he never wanted kids in the first place. He will help me out here and there to allow me 20 mins have a shower or a cup of tea but asking him to get involved with DS is a big no no.

Last week I had a bit of a mini breakdown crying as even as my wonderful DS was sleeping through the night, after 3 hours in bed I still hadn't slept a wink. When DS seen me crying he totally comforted me and asked what was up etc. and tbh I didn't have an answer other than I was finding it difficult to switch my brain of and rest. I know I'm not suffering from any type of depression or anything, in spite of my resentment towards DH for having to nag him to get involved with DS, I'm the happiest I've been in years.

We got over that mini episode and things have been great since, until I saw that post of FB and now I'm back to not sleeping again. It's almost 4am where I am and here I am, fretting.

I have found a swimming class I can take him at the weekends and had asked DH to take but you can guess his answer. DH is getting as DS gets older but basically he is copping out of the hard parts of being a dad, which he thinks he's entitled to do since he warned me he didn't want this in his life.

Anyway, at the end of this extremely long whinge, am I holding back DS? He is reaching all his milestones and child minder mentioned how clever he was cuz at 8 months he already knew what he had to do to get their attention which was banging the tray in the high chair when their backs were turned.

 

[Googiepie]

Not at all! I didn't take my first and she is just fine. Don't feel guilty. I know lots of people who don't or haven't taken their little ones and they're not held back at all.

 

[BrittRashel]

I never took my son to any type of infant class. I worked with him at home and that was about it. He is a little behind his peers right now because of his ADHD/Autism but considering he does have a developmental disorder, he does quite well. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[staralfur]

I didn't take my LO to any sort of group until she was over 1, and even then it was just drop-in stuff occasionally. Her first organized class was dance class when she was 2.5.

She was perfectly content just staying at home or going for walks or the the store with me until then. She didn't really take much interest in other kids and didn't quite grasp the social aspect of it until she was much older.

Now she's an extremely social 3 year old who goes to dance and soccer classes and makes friends wherever she goes. Not doing classes when she was a baby most definitely didn't hold her back.

Try not to stress about it.

 

[Cattia]

I took my first to every class there was. Looking back, I realize it was more for me than her (not that there's anything wrong in that). It was a way for me to get out and meet other mums. When DS came along I didn't do as many groups, only those you can do with a baby and toddler. This time around I'm just not up for doing the whole baby scene again. I have a circle of friends already and I don't feel that DD2 will miss out at all by not doing groups. She will get plenty of interaction with people. I honestly think with most groups the mums get most out of them, until the children are a bit older and can join in. As long as you and other people interact with LO it won't make an iota of difference.

 

[misspriss]

I never took DS to any groups as I went back to work a 12 weeks. He hit all his milestones on time, despite his prematurity. He is excellent in social situations and plays very well with other children (so far anyway, he is just over 2!). Do not stress so much

I am sorry your OH is not helping though!

 

[dom85]

I didn't take DS1 to any baby groups. We went to a music group after he turned 1 but that was it. I did try and go to a couple but they just weren't for me. My best friend had a little boy two days after me so we spent lots of time together and they played together and they have both turned out just fine.

With DS2 I have signed up for baby massage when he's 6 weeks and I am going to a breastfeeding group but it more for me because we have moved to a different area where we dont know anyone so it will be nice to make some other Mum friends as all my other friends either don't want kids or have finished having them a while ago so DS2 won't have similar aged kids to play with out of my current circle of friends.

 

[Larkspur]

I personally think classes are more for parents than the child before about 2! My son never went to any before then and he is extremely advanced and sociable.

He goes to a swimming class and a playgroup now, and so does my daughter purely for convenience, and I can see he gets soooo much more out of them than she does. She might as well just be bumbling happily around at home.

 

[justplay91]

I haven't done any classes or groups or anything with my son. I'm not an extremely sociable person, and honestly the thought of mommy/baby groups gives me quite a bit of anxiety. He's meeting all his millstones and still sees friends and grandparents on the weekends. He is a little shy, but that's probably mostly genetic as both his father and I were painfully shy babies and children. I think as long as you are socializing with your son he'll be be just fine.

 

[minties]

My kids have never been to a class or group etc. Thomas attends preschool so is having a good time there.

 

[Goods]

Thanks for all the reassuring comments ladies.

Had another bad night last night of not sleeping, weepy etc so think I'm going to book myself a doctors appointment as I feel a feeling it's like a case of delayed PND!

Us women have it tough eh?