just need a rant where i wont be judged!!!(army)

[MrS. MaBrEy]

my husband left for military basic training 2 months and 4 days ago...I AM MISERABLE without him!! i was fine as long as he was graduating on time...but now he isnt. He is being reviewed because he failed his PT test. His options will be A) he will be sent to the FTU fitness training unit and worked with everyday until he passes the APFT (army physical fitness test) and then directly shipped to AIT (advanced individual training).
B) he will be sent back a phase in basic training. there are 3 phases and the last one is 4 weeks long, so he would be put into another company and platoon and made to re-do the last part so that he will pass the APFT and then be shipped to his AIT location.
C) they will chapter him out of the army and he will be sent home, lose his pay and benifits, and be elligible to re-enlist in 6 months.

A and B are fine, really i hate being away from him for another month but thats army life. BUT C??? we will seriously starve. I stopped working 2 weeks ago so that i could prepare for my trip to SC, which wont be happening now, and so that we could have all of our weekends and holidays together for the next 10 weeks while he is at AIT. So if he loses his income we are screwed. I am so terrified, and there is no one to call, i cant call him of course. no one knows the answer to what is going to happen except the LT. colonel at fort jackson...just great. so at least 2 more weeks of not knowing what is going to happen and when its going to be over...i am so frustrated...and my nerves are shot to hell...im puking up everything that i eat...im miserable...all i want to do is lay in bed and cry all day...this whole situation just sucks

 

[Justagirlxx]

Hey sweetie! omg I feel horrible for what you are going through. My DH is leaving for basic in January and I can't imagine that happening when he's in. You must be a wreck. Have you heard anything from them yet? Are they gonna let him graduate on time? I hope you are okay. Let me know if you wanna be buddies or something.. I'm new to this army thing and hoping to meet other people in a similar situation! x Lots of hugs and good luck to you and your DH, I hope they let him graduate and he passes his tests.

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

he didnt graduate on time, he went to fitness training unit on wednesday (when he would have graduated) and he will pass the PT when he takes it again on Monday AND because its a holiday weekend they let them have their phones back for 5 days! (they will take them back up on monday but they are allowed to use the pay phones at night!) and he will have passed by the time they take them up anyway so he should be in Alabama by tuesday!!!! BCT is really really hard, but i feel so close to my husband, its amazing. i am more in love with him than ever!

 

[Justagirlxx]

he didnt graduate on time, he went to fitness training unit on wednesday (when he would have graduated) and he will pass the PT when he takes it again on Monday AND because its a holiday weekend they let them have their phones back for 5 days! (they will take them back up on monday but they are allowed to use the pay phones at night!) and he will have passed by the time they take them up anyway so he should be in Alabama by tuesday!!!! BCT is really really hard, but i feel so close to my husband, its amazing. i am more in love with him than ever!

Oh I'm so happy to hear that! Yayyyy !!

I have a question... How often is your DH allowed to call/write you while in BCT?

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

i got about 3 letters a week, the first 2 weeks are miserable im not gonna lie, your not getting mail, your not talking to them it sucks. then as you start getting mail it gets easier..they are SO busy though it is hard for them to make time to write, so it isnt like it is for us where we have all this time to write 2-3 letters a day, they really truely dont have time time. as far as phone calls go, 4 calls the whole time he was there...i know that sucks, some companys/platoons get more but this is what most get...a call to say they are there, and one for each color up phase...also be prepared to get crappy letters that say they hate everything and everyone and that all they want to do is come home...EVERYONE got these, and my husband LOVEs the army now that BCT is over....also you want to make sure you use plain white envelopes and dont draw anything cute on the outside because they will smoke them out for getting cheesy or gay looking mail. And you'll want to make sure your husband doesnt get smoked to recieve mail, mind didnt, but some companys/plts require 20 push ups per letter, most dont care though because mail is the highlight of the day. i mailed out everyday, sometimes 2 a day and my husband loved it...i sent him a care package about 2 weeks after he got there, but again not all co's/plts allow them to have them, and you have to check the list of allowed items...he loved getting baby wipes lol, and baby powder! haha. cracked me up how happy he was about baby wipes. lets see im trying to think of everything! just dont ever send any mail saying your miserable without him ect. always make sure its positive because it makes them feel like crap when their wives are at home and miserable while they are gone. my hubby said it helped that i just wrote down what i was doing everyday almost like a journal so that he felt like he didnt miss anything. oh and send LOTS of PICTURES! pics of you, you guys together, and pictures of home...he said that is the BEST.

 

[Justagirlxx]

i got about 3 letters a week, the first 2 weeks are miserable im not gonna lie, your not getting mail, your not talking to them it sucks. then as you start getting mail it gets easier..they are SO busy though it is hard for them to make time to write, so it isnt like it is for us where we have all this time to write 2-3 letters a day, they really truely dont have time time. as far as phone calls go, 4 calls the whole time he was there...i know that sucks, some companys/platoons get more but this is what most get...a call to say they are there, and one for each color up phase...also be prepared to get crappy letters that say they hate everything and everyone and that all they want to do is come home...EVERYONE got these, and my husband LOVEs the army now that BCT is over....also you want to make sure you use plain white envelopes and dont draw anything cute on the outside because they will smoke them out for getting cheesy or gay looking mail. And you'll want to make sure your husband doesnt get smoked to recieve mail, mind didnt, but some companys/plts require 20 push ups per letter, most dont care though because mail is the highlight of the day. i mailed out everyday, sometimes 2 a day and my husband loved it...i sent him a care package about 2 weeks after he got there, but again not all co's/plts allow them to have them, and you have to check the list of allowed items...he loved getting baby wipes lol, and baby powder! haha. cracked me up how happy he was about baby wipes. lets see im trying to think of everything! just dont ever send any mail saying your miserable without him ect. always make sure its positive because it makes them feel like crap when their wives are at home and miserable while they are gone. my hubby said it helped that i just wrote down what i was doing everyday almost like a journal so that he felt like he didnt miss anything. oh and send LOTS of PICTURES! pics of you, you guys together, and pictures of home...he said that is the BEST.

Thanks so much for all your advice! I will make sure to not write anything on the outside of the envelops. I have a 3 month old son so it's going to be super hard without him here but this is the life we have chosen for ourselves and I'm going to try and stay strong. It's going to really break my heart when I get those letters in the beginning saying how he regrets it and is having a horrible time and just wants to come home... I hope that phase doesn't last too long. I'm going to try super hard to stay positive about everything, and I'm going to send him new pictures at least once a week of our son and I. I was hoping he'd get to call me more often than that... is your husband combat/combat support or support? Mine is support so I heard basic is a bit easier on them. I dont think I'll be moving down with him during AIT because with a younger baby its so hard to move around that much and not be with family to help out (expecially with him so busy with AIT, I doubt he'd get much time to help) so I'm just gonna stay at home until his first duty station, then move down with him, even though I'm allowed to move if I wanted because his AIT is 24 weeks long (one of the longest!) Anyways hopefully we can chat and stuff I'm always on BnB! I'm thinking about starting a new military wives support group because it seems the old one has died and no ones really on it. Maybe if I started up a new one we'd have all the new members join? What do you think?

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

there was one but its a ttc one. they all kinda left...my husbands ait is 39 weeks so i feel your pain...do you know they will pay movers to come out and move you? and that if they send orders for him to bring his family that if you dont go you will lose your housing allowance? those are big things to think about. our housing allowance is 1100 dollars a month...so its a significant difference, and he is allowed to live with you if they order you to move, its just a long day at work really...wake up at 4:45, do PT from 5-6:30, then come home and get ready to go to work (change from PT uniform and shower and get into ACUs) and report back at 9 am for classes that last until 5 pm. he would only be gone with field training..where is he going for basic? whats his MOS? i can find out more info for you if you want.

 

[Justagirlxx]

there was one but its a ttc one. they all kinda left...my husbands ait is 39 weeks so i feel your pain...do you know they will pay movers to come out and move you? and that if they send orders for him to bring his family that if you dont go you will lose your housing allowance? those are big things to think about. our housing allowance is 1100 dollars a month...so its a significant difference, and he is allowed to live with you if they order you to move, its just a long day at work really...wake up at 4:45, do PT from 5-6:30, then come home and get ready to go to work (change from PT uniform and shower and get into ACUs) and report back at 9 am for classes that last until 5 pm. he would only be gone with field training..where is he going for basic? whats his MOS? i can find out more info for you if you want.

Oh wow I didn't know they could order me to go with him. Well I'd have to go if we lost the housing benefit because I couldn't afford to pay rent on my own. I'll PM you his MOS and where it is!